The Cursed King

Chapter 259 - Grief

Loriel lost the strength in his knees and fell on the floor in devastation when he saw the baby. He didn't dare to take her from the midwife, worried that he would drop her,  due to his terrible mental state.

The king of Summeria who had defeated so many enemies in battle and also conquered them without mercy found himself weak at the sight of his child now lost and gone forever. It etched a deep wound on his heart.

It was as if he lost a piece of him, a light that dimmed at the loss. Now, he understood why Elise was so fierce in protecting their unborn child. Elise already loved that child before she could even see her. A mother's love was so pure and unconditional.

Elise who was also still awake let out a soul-wrecking sob that tore through the soul of anyone who heard it at night. It was a cry of pain and misery that wrenched the hearts of those who would discover it.

Both Elise and Loriel couldn't even muster the strength to find each other and alleviate the pain of one another. The grief engulfed the two of them in ways that only closed them off from the world and to each other.

Sobbing manifested that night, and even when Loriel tried to approach his wife, Elise screamed at him and then fainted.

"Elise survived…" Loriel spoke to himself in a mutter. He was supposed to be happy and relieved that his wife was alive despite delivering a child and yet all he could find in his chest was a huge void that couldn't be filled.

"Your Majesty, please get some rest." Horatio, who was also wiping his own tears with a handkerchief, approached the king who he once served even when he was a little boy. It was the first time that Horatio saw a grown-up Loriel look so numb.

Even the devastation and mourning that Loriel did when he lost the first woman he loved and the depths of grief when he mourned for his mother was something that was different from Loriel losing his child.

Without another moment passing by, Horatio helped the king back to his own chamber and tried to comfort the king to make him sleep. "Your Majesty… shall I ask for a sleeping potion from Zaff?"

"No." Loriel sat down on his bed and buried his head in his hands. He shook his head. "No. I will stay awake."

Horatio watched the king silently for a couple of minutes but eventually left him to grieve alone in silence. For a proud man like Loriel, it was impossible for him to weep or show his despair when there were other people around him.

Once the royal butler was gone, Loriel wept despondently.

*** 

The baby was buried under the jacaranda tree which was planted on the day Loriel was born. This was the most special place in the royal palace and Loriel wanted his daughter's final resting place to be in a place he cherished the most.

Elise was still too weak to witness the funeral. So, only Loriel came and laid down the baby in the grave before they covered it with soil and planted several flowers on top.

The king sat for hours by the grave and cried silently. No one was allowed to come to the royal garden while he was there to give him privacy.

He and Elise had not even agreed on her name. Both avoided talking about names after Elise almost miscarried the last time, where Loriel was advised by Zaff to choose between his child's or his wife's life.

They were afraid to jinx it. Choosing a baby's name before the baby was born was seen as bad luck when the mother was having a difficult pregnancy. However, now that the baby was born lifeless... they were not prepared to call her with a proper name.

Loriel was certain that Elise must have a name prepared secretly, but he didn't have the heart to come to his depressed wife to ask her about the name. He decided to wait until Elise felt better.

So, the baby was finally buried in a nameless grave.

***

Elise refused to see Loriel after that event. In her heart and soul, she could not bear to look at Loriel because the sight of her husband made her remember their child. It crushed her so much to even think of them.

...and Loriel could understand it. He was feeling heartbroken too. So, seeing how much Elise wallowed in sadness, he knew there was nothing he could do.

Even Loriel did not want to face his wife after everything she'd been through. He did not know what to say to her when a pit of emptiness was also wallowing inside of him.

He was mourning too. He didn't have the mental capacity to console Elise when he could not even process his own grief.

As promised, Loriel moved out of Elise's chamber to give her space and time to grieve. He did tell her when he moved in that he only stayed in her chamber during her pregnancy to make sure she and their baby were well.

Now that there was no more baby, he had no excuse to keep staying there. When he came with Horatio to bring his clothes out of her chamber, Elise didn't show that she cared, not even one bit. She didn't say a word and refused to look at him.

After Loriel moved out and returned to his own chamber, he and Elise grew distant day by day. Little by little, all the amount of affection and wonderful activities that they used to do was pulled under by the weight of their sorrow.

At first, the two of them met for breakfast and other meals, but Elise did not have an appetite and neither did Loriel.. It hurt both of them to see each other because it reminded them of what they had lost.