The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 500 - Spreading Teachings

Chapter 500: Spreading Teachings

Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Kurisu

With Shink acting as our secret informant, the Death Council never expected that their contact that they worked with so many times already had suddenly become their mortal enemy. Since the Death Council wasn’t on guard against Shink at all, capturing the Death Council members went incredibly easily.

Although it was still the “same Shink” waiting for them at their typical meeting location, Shink was now loyal to a different party. It took only a single moment for the dark ranger to capture all of them.

Alright then, even I felt that it was rather awkward to behold this large and muscular one-eyed dark ranger. After all, in a certain world, there was an extremely popular dark ranger queen, but since that world developed to the point where even humans were able to join the hunter and ranger job classes, learning the powers of darkness or death and becoming a dark ranger was quite normal as well… Still, such a muscular dark ranger was rather blinding to behold, but unfortunately, I didn’t have access to a Spring of the Drowned Girl¹ …

“Oh, right, System, was the Spring of the Drowned Girl that you mentioned previously actually real? Can you really perform a true gender change?”

[It’s real. Compared to twisting karma, changing a person’s gender isn’t even the slightest bit difficult. Actually, you don’t even need me to do the gender change. You can do it yourself with your own undead surgery techniques. All you need to do is change a few organs and adjust the hormonal levels. You’d be able to complete the gender change surgery in less than an hour.]

Indeed, compared to Earth’s modern-day surgeries that needed to worry about the body’s rejection of organs, infection, or nerve connections, undead surgery was far easier to cut and piece together organs as one pleased. Any of the body’s negative reactions could be taken care of by magic. The techniques were quite well-established already as well.

I was surprised when I heard this, but I thought about it some more, and realized that it would indeed be quite easy to perform a gender change surgery when it was already quite easy for me to change out any of someone’s organs or even head with my undead surgery. Of course, gender change surgery would be quite easy. Still, I thought about it again and changed my mind, giving up on the idea of creating a “classical” dark ranger queen.

[…You’ve realized the problem as well, haven’t you? That’s right, gender change surgery isn’t difficult at all. The difficulty is in not going blind from the result after you change their gender. Do you really think that reality is like the moe Japanese mangas? It’s so unscientific that a tall and muscular man can become such a beautiful girl after a simple gender change. Logically speaking, if a person was originally a tall and muscular man, then he would definitely become a tall and muscular woman after a gender change. Plus, even if some medieval English king was actually a female queen ² instead, with their terrible hygiene awareness and how she would be traveling with the army, any queen would definitely be a roughshod auntie speaking in a vulgar manner filled with dirty words! Something like a cute girl being a English queen is nothing more than an otaku’s fantasy! Right, wasn’t there someone that actually did some research on this topic, that a certain king was actually an ugly old baldie…]

“…I feel like I need to apologize immediately; otherwise, I’ll be killed off. Right, doesn’t this mean that Hua Mulan, who was able to join the army for so many years without being discovered as a woman… Could it be that she looked just like a man… Okay, I should really stop here.”

Cough, cough, I seemed to have accidentally gotten off topic. Actually, it was quite easy to do a gender change surgery, or even do a full cosmetic surgery and create the body of a beautiful woman. However, no matter what, the beautiful woman’s body would contain the soul of a coarse man, and it would be impossible to change his low and booming voice to sound like the voice a beautiful woman would have… I didn’t feel like anything about this was moe at all. I only felt disgusted.

Krose? Ha, Krose’s gender was Krose! What was a man? If you asked this question to those bastards from Sulfur Mountain City, they might just beat you up! It was said that the Krose pursuers’ club had already surpassed 10,000 members, and it was likely that those with such interests who hadn’t joined had surpassed six digits already. Even if Krose wasn’t an idol, she had already become a new type of cult.

Oh, right. I recalled that Krose wasn’t far from here right now, perhaps I could call her over for some eye candy… I meant, to help me out!

Whoops, I accidentally got sidetracked once more. I glanced over at the large black-clad man who was currently scouting from a tree branch, and completely abandoned the thought of changing his gender and appearance. Shink didn’t even know that he had narrowly escaped such a fate.

Getting back on topic, I was now quite free as I no longer had so many heavy responsibilities. And, right now, there were also benefits to acting as an evil undead mage. At least, I wouldn’t have to care about what tactics I used, and so, the unfortunate Death Council priest began telling everything, including even what age he was still wetting his bed at.

“…Things are more troublesome than I imagined.”

The Death Council had learned about the ruins almost immediately when Shink leaked the information. But, at first, they didn’t view the news as important. They simply sent a small adventuring team with only a few high-level job class members to explore the ruins in hopes of obtaining some resources which could fund their activities.

However, the result was that an acolyte left behind on the outskirts was the only survivor. This adventuring team had included even a Gold-ranked master, yet the entire team except for the acolyte perished without even being able to send out a message. The exploration should have stopped there, but an unexpected piece of news astonished the Death Council members of Sala Dukedom.

“A part of the ruins has incredibly weak spatial barriers. This location is excellent for creating a Dimensional Door. A normal Gold-ranked undead mage has been able to successfully summon a bone dragon here in the past.”

And so, a new exploration squad was formed. Although the first three scouting squads all perished, this newly formed exploration squad brought along plenty of sacrifices, and even gifts from the Undead Emperor. All the members of were elites, and they consisted of more than half of the Death Council’s total power. There were multiple Saint ranks among them.

If this counted as bad news, then the next news was something difficult to assess as good or bad.

For some reason unknown to the Death Council, the only passage through the mountains had suddenly been blockaded by royal forces. Not only that, the passage was guarded by the most elite royal squadron in the Sala Dukedom. Unless the Death Council was willing to directly antagonize the local ruling forces and force their way through, they couldn’t do anything but to remain temporarily stalled despite the power of their exploration squad.

Not only that; since Kaen’s treasure map had now been copied and sold many times over by all the merchants and information brokers in town, countless adventuring teams and even individual adventurers were swarming towards the ruins. The local towns in the area that had originally been low in population now seemed like flourishing metropolises. Any newly arrived outsider would be viewed by everyone as yet another competitor.

When I heard all this news from the Death Council priest, I felt a great sense of aggrievement within my chest. This had supposed to be a fun treasure hunting expedition, so why had it become a major fight over the treasure instead? It seemed likely that I would even have to face the local ruling forces. At this rate, it was certain that something even worse awaited me.

“Wait a moment, then the Death Council priests are also at the town closest to the mountain passage blockade right now? They’re absolutely certain to attack the blockade in order to get past. In that case, I can make use of them to slip past as well…”

As I looked at the stammering Death Council worshipper before me, a strategy that I commonly used was already forming inside my mind. Perhaps, as long as I used them well, the fact that the Death Council’s squadron was quite strong would even be a good thing for me.

The pure power of death gathered in my palm and formed a roaring skull, acting as a symbol of my power over death.

“Little brat, originally the only path for you should have been death. The only possibility was to become my experimental subject, but things have slightly changed now. I have a suggestion for you. Perhaps you’ll be ‘willing’ to help me out. Of course, it’s also fine if you’re not willing, since I’m really lacking experimental subjects.”

Although he was a Death Council worshipper, the middle-aged priest furiously nodded his head. It would seem that he still quite feared death himself.

After making a few preparations and having the others help the villagers, I took care of the scattered matters on my hand and directly returned to my tent in our camp to rest.

Although it was night now, there was still plenty of noise in the camp. The villagers that had just escaped a life-and-death situation had still been excited during day to have been rescued, but it was now night, and they had calmed down enough to remember the relatives the bandits killed and how their homes had been burned to nothing but rubble. Crying sounded from somewhere, and then this sound of sadness started spreading. Soon, the entire camp was filled with the sound of crying.

The elderly hugged children and cried in low voices, women remembered their dead men and cried loudly while worrying about the future, and even youngsters kept dripping tears while thinking about the family members they would never see again.

This type of situation was far too common in this cruel world. The veteran adventurers already expected this, and either stuffed their ears beforehand, or went to sleep as early as possible. However, this type of situation was difficult for the younger adventurers to get used to.

Katerina silently started crying as well as she leaned against her adopted father Old Barton. Perhaps she had recalled her own experiences. The Northlands trio all had different reactions. Mary’s complexion didn’t look well. Meanwhile, the dark elf Diyana had already gotten used to parting, and she simply took off her heavy armor and sat on a tree while bringing out a five-stringed wooden harp as she gently started singing an elven mourning song for the passing of souls.

This calm and flowing song in another language reverberated within the campground. This song of parting wasn’t that mournful in tune, but the sounds of crying became even louder. Meanwhile, the youngest member of the trio, the goblin Judgementor Thor, had a blank expression. This real life adventuring experience seemed to be quite different from the epic adventure he had been looking forward to.

According to the stories and legends he had read, shouldn’t the villagers that were saved be lavishing him with fresh flowers and kisses? Why were they all so sad even though they received their freedom?

The elven mourning song continued to echo in Thor’s ears. This scene before his eyes kept attacking his worldview. The ordinary mortals’ sadness told him that the adventures he dreamed about weren’t as simple as written in the books. The villagers that were just like the background in the legends also had their own lives, sadness, and bliss. Perhaps their tiny amount of bliss wasn’t even worth mentioning in front of a noble, but that would be everything to them.

The villagers’ homes were gone. There wasn’t even anyone left to wait for their return. They themselves had almost become slave sacrifices. It was only perfectly normal for the villagers to cry and vent.

There was no need for fancy words. Anyone with a conscience would feel empathy with those who lost their families, friends, and homes. In front of such pure sorrow, even the goblin Thor’s expression became serious instead of his usual comical appearance. He hesitated, wanting to do something, wanting to tell them that the future still had hope.

“…Just let them cry. What can you even do? Say some useless platitudes? Don’t go bothering them!”

However, Thor was pulled back by his own comrade. Mary was also in a poor mood right now, but this wasn’t her first experience with this type of matter. She knew that at such a time, an outsider’s attempts at consolation would be nothing more than spreading salt on the wound.

However, Thor suddenly broke free from his companion’s grip, and ran over as fast as he could with his short stature.

“I, I’m not here to console everyone. I have a type of power, that doesn’t require much talent. Any ordinary person can learn it. It, can, can protect you all, so that such a thing doesn’t happen again.”

The goblin Thor got nervous and started stammering. However, he spoke his words filled with emotions from his heart, giving him more and more courage to speak up as he continued. His not-so-loud voice suddenly became loud and clear.

“That’s right, the power of Law will definitely protect you! That was why a certain great person created the power of Law. He didn’t create this power in order to provide the strong yet another tool to bully the weak with. Law, and the power of Law are protection and aid for the weak! This is a type of power that anyone can try to use! Law was created for the sake of protection and smiting evil villains!”

Thor took off the necklace on his neck and placed the emblem of the balance in his hand. The next instant, a silver light ignited the balance and covered it in a holy fire. The pitch-black clouds were dispersed, and a ray of silver light descended right upon the goblin’s body. It felt as if an invisible eye was watching this location from the sky.

“A divine miracle that’s almost impossible to achieve? No, the Pillar of Law in Hell will never rest. Anyone can ask for justice and aid from Law. We don’t believe in blindly worshiping the Gods. However, we respect the Hell Gods, because they protect and save the weak along with punishing the unjust!”

Thor then opened up his backpack and stuffed his law books and his personal notes into the hands of the villagers who now had blank expressions.

“First, start from learning ‘Theories of Law’, then next you should study ‘The Differences Between Law and Holy Light’…”

Thor only half-finished his sentence when he suddenly recalled what he saw at Sulfur Mountain City. He finally understood why these most basic books about Law always sold so well in the bookstores. The book buyers even included old judges with decades of experience. Logically speaking, such judges wouldn’t need such beginner level books, but now Thor understood why Judgementors and Justice Knights that always went out would go to the bookstore every time to buy more of these basic books.

“Did you lose your books?”

“No, I gave them away.”

“Spreading the teachings of Law? Wonderful, there’s a new believer in Law? Why not take a few more books?”

“More books? There won’t be enough no matter how many I take with me. Heh, why am I telling you all this? You’ll understand in time.”

This past memory flashed into Thor’s mind, causing him to smile bitterly. Now, he truly did understand. But, looking at the scene before him, he would have preferred not to understand. Perhaps, when the entire world was so cruel, it was meaningless no matter how many books he brought with him.

Suddenly, from amongst the crowd of villagers, an anxious voice spoke up inquiringly. The speaker was someone young and skinny, a youth whose clothing was rather tattered. He had just been crying while hugging his grandfather, but now his eyes were filled with expectations. Thor’s divine miracle and words had given him hope, hope for the future again.

*Slap!*

Thor viciously slapped himself in the face, causing swelling almost instantly. However, Thor didn’t feel anything at all, as he was embarrassed at himself for his own momentary confusion.

“Meaningless for myself? Ha, I’m so foolish. It’s enough that there’s meaning for them.”

This new Judgementor who had only recently graduated Law school took a deep breath and recalled how his teachers had taught him. Thor then began to explain to these ordinary villagers about his own path of Law, just as thousands of seniors before him had done.

“First, you all must understand what exactly the Concept of Law and the power of Law are. This isn’t a power that has high attack power…”

Meanwhile behind him, the dark elf on the tree secretly nodded. Only now did Diyana truly begin approving of this companion of hers. She even stopped playing her elven mourning song so that the goblin’s ear-piercing speech could transmit farther into the night.

At the same time, inside the largest and most luxurious tent in the campground, I pulled down the curtain and stopped watching this even though I should have been asleep already.

I took out a handwritten book and began writing what I learned today within it. This book was finished.

The cover of this book read: “Unexpected uses of the power of Hell combined with the power of Law: How low-level Law job class members can have a fighting chance against other high-level job class members.”