The Fallen Vampire

Chapter 99: Loss Pt. 1

Domino Effect (Noun).

A domino effect is the cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a chain of similar or other events.

In life, there are certain times where we face a series of unfortunate events that follow each other sometimes one after the other.

Upon taking a moment to reflect, one can usually trace the beginning of these events back to one particular decision or moment where everything started to go wrong.

The confrontation of this truth can cause a great sense of despair and internal ridicule.

'I could have done this, and avoided that.'

'If I had only changed this a little, I could have prevailed.'

'If I hadn't left, my loved ones would still be here.'

Whether in the world of Tayar or the Earth, it is always difficult to come to grips with the fact that you can occasionally bear some responsibility for a hardship that has unfolded within your life.

And because life too often prioritizes the trampling of the weak, we often have a difficult time finding a moment to be vulnerable and process our grief normally.

In a world that praises and deifies the strong and the capable, everyone loves to talk about their wins and celebrate them, but they never talk about their losses, and subsequently don't know how to deal with them.

And if you live long enough, there will always be some losses.

-

Aveena's bright red eyes fluttered open after a long period of inactivity.

She let out a soft groan as she felt a headache like none she'd ever known before throbbing within her skull, and she pulled her covers over her head in a resolute stance to stay within the darkness.

As she resigned herself to lying in bed all day, she finally recalled all of the events that happened prior to her waking up in bed.

"A-Abbess!"

Throwing off the covers, Aveena quickly dressed herself before she realized this wasn't her quarters.

The dorms for the sect members certainly weren't this nice, and didn't contain nearly as many fancy things.

Throwing open the door to her room, Aveena rushed outside in hopes of learning what had happened.

Upon exiting her room, she realized that she had set foot into a hallway lined with simple wood flooring and various haikus hung along the walls.

She wandered about aimlessly until she smelled the scent of tea coming from further down the hallway, and increased the pace of her running.

She pushed open a pair of double doors and felt her breath get caught in her throat.

Inside of this space, she found a grand library lined with so many different kinds of books that she couldn't count them all.

Sitting at a round table reading a book was a young looking woman with long black hair and furry wolf ears that twitched every time that she turned a page.

She was beautiful, but she looked tired and had a number of deep bags underneath her golden eyes.

Sitting beside her was another older but equally beautiful woman who was more muscular and had a large number of scars running all over her body.

"K-Keran?"

Looking up, the werewolf smiled sadly at her muscular companion and gestured for her to sit down. "Hey, I'm glad you're awake. Are you feeling okay?"

At that moment, Ayame decided to excuse herself and stepped out of the room silently to give the girls some much needed space to talk.

"My body is a little sore but other than that I have no complaints... Who was that woman?"

"My mother.. She's been helping to keep me company for the past couple of days... everyone else is still asleep or... just not in the mood to talk."

Seeing Keran so despondent, Aveena knew that something had to have gone wrong.

"Can you tell me... What happened while I was asleep..?"

Keran's heart sped up as she slowly took Aveena's hand in her own. "I can... but I need you to promise to listen to me until the end, okay...?"

"A-Alright..."

Over the next ten minutes or so, Keran told her friend everything that had happened while giving as little gory detail as possible.

The knowledge that every single member of her sect was now resting peacefully in the afterlife was mortifying.

Even the Abbess who was seen by all of them as a sort of universal constant had been killed by the hands of the human army that she lured in.

Losing the strength in her body, Aveena fell out of her chair and tumbled to the floor; horrified by the truth of the reality around her.

Sobbing like a banshee, she shivered as the tears fell down her eyes with more force than she had in her entire body.

Though this woman was a fair bit bigger than her, Keran did not hesitate to rush from her own seat and pull her into her arms as if she were a small child.

"I-It's all my fault..! If I hadn't left in the first place then-"

"Don't do that to yourself, Aveena. This situation is already a horrible one. You don't need to make it worse for yourself by harboring guilt that you haven't earned."

Enraged, guilty, and heartbroken, Aveena tried to push Keran away roughly as she cried her heart out on the cold floor.

"D-Do not try to redeem me!! If I hadn't left in the first place then those humans never would have discovered the location of the sect! Because of me, the only family I have ever known is all dead!!"

"Aveena!"

Keran forcefully grabbed her friend by the face and made her sit still with only minimal difficulty.

"Listen to yourself! Have you forgotten what those men did to you to get that information?! Why on earth would you bear any sort of responsibility for an action like that?!"

"BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRONGER!! I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN CARRYING AROUND THE PHRASE TO GET INTO THIS PLACE AND I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LET MY FAMILY FIGHT AGAINST THEM!"

Out of the corner of her teary eyes, Aveena saw a silver letter opener lying on the table, and her body seemed to move on autopilot after that.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had wrung herself out of Keran's grip and grabbed the pointed object before bringing it against her neck.

She tried to move her arms and will herself to complete the final act, but no matter how hard she tried it felt like her arms were being held by an invisible force.

"Why are you doing this to me, Keran!? I need to pay for my mistakes, I cannot live with myself any longer!!"

Keran did not respond to her friend's outburst, and instead she continued to keep a firm hold on her arms to prevent her from doing anything unfortunate.

"Do you think... you are the first one to feel like this...? To want to do something like this..? Because you aren't... I know better than anyone just how you feel right now, which also means I know just how selfish of a decision you're making.

I know you're hurting, but that's no reason to throw your life away like this... You wouldn't be atoning, you would only be breaking the hearts of your master and sisters who wanted you to live on, as well as my own and everyone else's.

With her dying breath, Abbess Setsuka asked me to take care of you. Why would she do that if she ever thought to blame you for anything that had happened?"

"I blame me!!! E-Even if she didn't, I know that I am the sole reason why-"

"You did not kill her, you loved her. And it is because she shared that same love for you that she knows that you never had any sort of negative intentions toward your home, so she wished only the best for you."

Keran kneeled in front of Aveena and delicately clasped her fingers around hers before taking the letter opener from her hand.

"You can be sad, upset, angry, you can feel whatever you want to feel. But since I have accepted responsibility for you that means that I will never allow you to hurt yourself. Not when Setsuka wanted so desperately for you to keep living happily."

Keran broke the weapon right in front of Aveena's eyes, and she felt something within her breaking down as well.

Left with no way to avoid her grief and nowhere that she could run, Aveena fell into Keran's arms and she cried and cried as if there were no obstruction within her eyes to retain water.

The entire time, Keran did not move from her spot, and sh held the mature woman for what felt like an eternity without complaint.

"I-I miss them..! I miss them so much..!"

"I know... but they are still here with you, you just can't see them. Luckily the Abbess has showed me something special that should help you feel even closer to them."

-

Outside of the library, Ayame wiped her eye as she clenched her feelings and wrestled with her own heartache.

She had been listening quietly without interrupting for the entire duration of their chat, and now she felt like she also needed to be held.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget the words of her daughter as she talked her friend down from the preverbal ledge.

'Keran... Did you need your father and I to tell you things like that too...?'