The Grand Mistress

Chapter 108 - Saving Grace

"Changed?" Butler Gah returned the question.

"I don't know, for some reasons I felt like her being exposed to the outside world changed her completely," Hawk sounded disappointed. He does remember that in their childhood years when they were both still in Somerset village, Cat was having doubts about giving in to her grandfather's plans of sending her to the city to see the world outside and he was one of the persons who encouraged her to do it. Now, when he had seen how much she had changed, there was something in him that wished she didn't leave Somerset. Perhaps her father was then right, the world in the city will ruin her pure and innocent mind.

"All the traits that made her what she was had completely gone. She wasn't  wild anymore, nor headstrong and not anymore that naive to things,"

"You say like this was the best of qualities when they were not," Butler Gah shook his head bemused on how love can make a person go blind. He did know Cat as once the girl visited their house, way back when they used to live in Somerset and he particularly noticed her strong character—very unrelenting. 

For him, headstrong women were only a headache and it amused him how his son, Hawk, became particularly fond of this attitude of hers. Perhaps because it completely changed his idea of women as fragile little things who needed a man to get through life, because that Cat whom they both knew was never fragile and  was also very independent enough—too independent rather to depend on anything nor anyone.

"Feather right now is too needy, not that I don't like it because it does make me feel good knowing that she needs me but….but… I do love the old Cat more," Hawk confessed.

"So this was where the other woman comes into the picture," Butler Gah concluded and started hitting off the topic about Hawk's another woman. "I now know why you are too attached to her. It's because she reminds you of the old Cat you loved so much,"

Hawk didn't answer anymore because his father's words were so on point, he couldn't rebut any of it. This was what he particularly liked about being in Butler Gah's company, he needed not to pretend or hide his true self, even his dark and shameless side.

"Don't you think you just like this new woman because she reminds you more of the Cat you used to know?" His papa added when he saw that he wasn't answering.

"Perhaps. The truth papa is that I do not know, there's just something about her that I could not resist," Hawk said helplessly. "She felt like someone I am very used to having even when I just met her,"

"And Feather?" Butler Gah asked. "How do you see her?"

Hawk for a moment to think about it. "Feather was my foundation. My reason for everything but perhaps our long separation created some permanent walls that I cannot break anymore. I do love her, I love my fuzzy cat and you know that very much,"

"Hawk, love is a serious thing. When you say love—it is supposed to be unconditional. That means no matter how much a person would change, it won't matter," Butler Gah reached for his shoulder to press it. "If the changes with Feather now matters to you, then perhaps it's not love at all,"

"Are you saying I should give up Feather?"

"I'm saying that perhaps you had given the Han's heiress too much devotion you had forgotten to leave some for yourself," Butler Gah tried to push some sense to him. "I know you love Feather, I had seen this since you were young and it was because of her that you had become who you are today. However, your life my son is not all about Feather, you just made it so. Obviously, the Cat you used to love does not anymore exist as Feather had changed completely. So decide now which among the two girls can make the best out of you,"

"How do I know which one can make the best out of me?"

"Simple," Butler Gah's eyes brightened. "Choose the one who can make you sane,"

Hawk's head formed lines at this advice. His papa made it sound so simple but he was then having a hard time comprehending it.

"Papa I—"

"You came here because you had lost your mind and that's the reason for your sleepless nights and uncontrolled temper," Butler Gah cut him off completely. It was obvious Hawk could not see through things. Knowing Hawk, even though he was a Monsanto, Butler Gah knew  his temper was tamable as he was able to tame it when he was young. For him to go berserk over a petty thing only meant a stimuli had hit his resolute and he believe it had something to do with one of his women, "Choose the girl who can make you the Hawk Monsanto I know, not this ever messed up adult that I am seeing in front of me,"

"Previously I didn't mind your mad devotion to that Cat girl because she was able to make the best out of you," His papa added, "Now, I wish for you to have a partner who could do the same,"

"But Cat is Feather,"

"There's no doubt about that . We know there is only one heiress and that is the daughter of Mauro han, the only son of Don Benedicto Han," Butler Gah expressed. "In the village they seemed like normal people. I almost never thought Mauro Han stepped over Han's Scintillait because with all honesty, as I've known him in Somerset, he is not the type of man who'd like a life with the elite's circle. I can't even believe the kind of man he has become now,"

Butler Gah sure did not believe at first that Mauro Han took over Han's Scintillait as when he knew him in Somerset, he was quite a humble man. When Hawk told him he had changed and became an aggressive gambler, he could only shake his head in disbelief. However, seeing his name all over the news and other media outlets as indeed the CEO of Han's Scintillait, it was hard to deny it anymore. Besides, when Hawk was able to get back from hiding, round when he was seventeen years old, they went together to attend Feather's debut in Voltaire Ballet and they had seen the two personally for the first time in many years—Mauro Han taking over the stage to give her daughter, Feather some bouquet after a good performance.

That time, Mauro Han, he can instantly recognize as nothing much has changed from his physical appearance aside from him becoming quite confident. Feather on the other hand was a teenager and although her features had changed since she had grown up the trace of the old Cat was still with her—her brown hair, honey-colored eyes. Some quiet stunning features left her however like her ever pearl white complexion and her being so exceptionally tall but of course since she was the only daughter of Mauro Han, he knew well that she was Cat, the girl from the Somerset village. 

Besides, both Hawk and him knew that Cat went to Mara Ballet company and became a prima donna as she once sent Hawk some letters when Butler Gah and him were still living in Somserset. However, after they left the place to escape some of their enemies who managed to find them after many years, the communication between Hawk and Cat stopped. Fast forward after that, Hawk learned from a newspaper that the Han's heiress who was then the prima donna of Mara Ballet was accepted in Voltaire Ballet Company in London and that she had left the country to train more. 

"You are not the only one who feel upset of what he had become," Hawk also expressed his dislike about the current shameless Mauro Han. "Perhaps his changed of attitude was also the reason why Cat changed,"

"Could be," Butler Gah agreed. Sighing to give his chest some fresh breath he expressed, "But it's good that she still remembers you even after so many years. Your bond really is something,"

"It's true. If only you know how it made me feel so happy to know she still remembers me," Hawk answered and smiled, finding some positive side of all the misfortunes they had gone through.

  If there was one reason why he kept on holding on to Feather, it was this bond he had with her. It had started when they were children and had grown only strong now that they were then lovers, almost to be wed. Cat's impact on his life was more than friendship, more than a companion or a playmate as she  was then his saving grace. The only woman who had inspired him to become better in life and it was really hard to give her all up just because a stranger came and intrigued him.