The Grand Mistress

Chapter 135 - Memory

In one moment more, Hawk started strumming and singing a song. His deep young voice echoed through the night, making all onlookers breathless but not Simione. Unlike everyone who seemed very pleased at the song, Simione stiffened and was stunned to hear it, as a complicated emotion rushed to her heart.

Hawk played a beautiful promising melody, something that was just right for the night, something a bit old fashioned too but full of heartfelt words.

~Don't worry if you would lose everything~

~Cause I will be at your side, come what may~

~even if the whole world would turn its back from you~

~I will be there to hold your hand~

The music Hawk sang was an old song, written by a local composer that wasn't popular in their times. It became so popular decades ago that only old folks became familiar with it. These days, this song was like a melody that had already been forgotten by many and only those who had special love for the song sang it. Its title was "By your side" and it was a song of promised company and devotion. 

This song had always been Hawk's favorite as it was a song his grandmother used to sing to him. Growing up, he had special attachment to the song and had good beautiful memories with it and so when he sang it then, he sang it with good emotions, just right to draw everyone's interest.

~So let it rain, let the cloud cover the earth~

~Even so, I'll be in the rain and thunder with you~

~I'll dance with you under the cold, under the darkness~

~With a promise to never leave your side~

Simione  however, heard the song a long time ago and she specially buried the melody in her brain to forget some hurtful past. Hearing it then was like remembering an old pain and making it fresh again—the  hurt, the sadness, the brokenness—came rushing into her like a boiling water that crushed her insides. As she couldn't take it anymore, she casually left the window, not drawing anyone's attention aside from Hawk and ran secretly into the kitchen of that house as she raised a palm to her mouth to suppress a cry. Yet, when she was all alone, tears flooded her eyes and she sobbed all alone.

Hawk was the only person who noticed that Simione left. He saw the unusual expression that registered in her face and was left wondering why she acted that way. However, because of the crowd before him, he really couldn't go and chase her, nor make any move to raise suspicions from the crowd. So, he sang continually and finished the song to everyone's content.

Simione however had to endure the song and all the  hurt that came with it. While everyone else was laughing and cheering for Hawk outside, she was crying secretly to herself. That song was beautiful and it will always have a special place in her heart and right then when her tears continued falling, she realized even after decades had passed the pain of losing him—that childhood friend who promised to stay by her child forever—remained a painful memory. It was the memory of Spin, the boy who chased her everywhere, the boy who remained hers even when things had been taken away from her, the boy whom she buried in Somerset village long ago.

His death was far too painful for her, especially that she had never gotten to see him for a while and when she came back to fulfill her promise to him, his house was broken down to ashes with him. She was left with nothing but ashes and there was nothing left for her to do but just to bury him there with all her whispers and regrets. His death by far was the second painful thing she had undergone when she was young and probably one of the most hard to bear. So whilst growing up and to cover the hangups of her childhood, she tried to bury his memory and the memory she had with him in Somerset village into her heart, buried deep and untouched. Only with such a song, the song that Hawk Monsanto sang, did such a memory open up and hurt her once more.

Simione wished she had never heard it from him because hearing such a beautiful special melody from Hawk made only her feelings for him intense. She always had a weak spot for Spin and knowing that right then Hawk reminds her of him only made her feelings for him obvious and uncontrollable. Out of all people, why does it have to be Hawk Monsanto?

  She had thoroughly decided to drop and ignore her lingering feeling she had for him,  knowing that was pure covetousness to do so and yet that fucking song only made her want him more, more that she ever want him before. With that she could only curse her heart and she held it and wished she just never had daringly ventured her way through Hawk and met him. For at the end, instead of getting back at Feather for revenge, she ended up falling into the trap she created and harbored an impossible feeling for  a man who already belongs to someone else.

"You are such an idiot Sisi!" She wiped off her tears. "Oh God Spin, if you were here, things wouldn't have gone this far!" She laughed and cried at the memory of him. "I should have never thought of that Feather Project in the first place,"

"Do you hate me now for being such a fool?" She whispered questions for him in the air, hoping somewhere he could hear him. "I'm still such a fool right even though many years have passed?"

"You said when you grow up you would marry  me. Would you still want to marry me now? This foolish one, I've made too many mistakes already to deserve you but I know you wouldn't mind. You would still like me anyway. You should have not gone to heaven early and just waited for me. You should have come for me,"

Sisi cried for him. It had been a long time since she did. Even then, remembering Spin was always as painful as it always was. At the end, the girl offered prayers for him and assured the boy, no matter what, she will fulfill her promise to him to be okay and to live a good life. If there were one of the things that had kept her from going on despite all the tragedies she encountered in her life, it was this promise.

Simione wiped off her tears for good, drank a glass of water and headed back to where everyone was in order not to raise any worry. When she appeared from the door, she found everyone happily conversing with each other. People had kept teasing Mario and the old woman who owned the house. She was named Sunny and she was  a local midwife. She had been serving her village and the nearby village for years and because of this, whenever doctors from the city came to do a medical mission, they always drop by her house to teach her new skills and also provide her stocks of medicine. The two young women with her were her guest, a doctor and a nurse. They both came to see old Sunny for the same reasons and Simione accompanied them to lead the way as no one was available in the orphanage to do so. 

"Oh here's Cat!" Mario noticed her coming in and so he acknowledged her.

"Hello everyone," Simione replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Hawk noticed that her eyes were a bit sullen and realized she cried. What made her cry then, he had no idea and although he was worried, he could not give her special attention then. Everyone in the village thought that Cat was a married woman and so Hawk had been very careful in his dealings with her as one wrong move can cast a doubt on her reputation. "Have you met the doctors?This is—"

"They had already introduced themselves to Cat," Old Sunny told her and looked at the two women whose eyes were still with Hawk. They were both not from Devon City and so even when they knew how Hawk Monsanto liked, they never thought the man in front of them was him. Hawk's skin then got super tan and he was wearing some regular village clothes. He was barely recognizable as the great Hawk Monsanto. "Cat was so kind enough to accompany Doctor Sora and nurse Lea here. Its their first time in this region, they don't know their way much,"

"Yes, thank you Cat for your services. You really are a great help," Doctor Sara expressed her gratitude to her which Cat responded with a polite bow. "Also, thank you Hawk for such a wonderful song. I've never heard of it before. It was really beautiful,"

"Your welcome," Hawk replied timidly as if he was not really used to compliments with regard to his singing skills. Besides, he was not really not interested with the pleasantries as his wind was wondering why so suddenly, Simione had gone so sad. Did something bad happen to her?