The Grand Mistress

Chapter 154 - How Shallow His Love Is

"It is none of your business Hawk Monsanto," Simione's told her in an expression that didn't much of a damn about everything he said. It was rather such a sight to see Simione in this character as the girl had never displayed such a tendency of him before. Yes there were moments that she had been angry at him, but never cold. Never this cold. 

"When it comes to matters involving you, it is my business Cat," Hawk looked through her cold stare trying to push in some warmth, hoping it would melt whatever thing that went on to her that made her look this desperate. Does this Brother really mean a lot to her? 

"I cannot lose you over this," Hawk added, with no plans of letting her go.

"This isn't your choice to make…."Simione retorted, twisting her arms around his grab to free herself. Her own move brought some pain in her arms and yet she continued as if she wasn't feeling all the pain.  "It's mine...and  I want to go. You don't understand all this...you won't ever understand..so  just...just...please….let me go,"

"How could you be this foolish?" Hawk chided her with all the frustration that went on him. He had never been so frustrated in his life, only when the woman he finally got to love was blatantly refusing his call for her self protection. 

"Do you love him so much you are willing to die for him?" He dared to ask after a moment when he finally got the courage to. Truth was, for a moment he was hesitating it as Simione's actions already proved it so. However, he wanted to hear it from her, he wanted her to tell him the truth about her very own feelings with this matter, more so her very own feeling with the man whom everyone thought was her husband.

Simione's eyes faltered a bit. She hesitated for a moment as her thoughts darkened and became chaotic. Things were running in her head, spinning endlessly like a wheel with to direction. She was clearly not in her right mind.

"Answer me!" Hawk screamed it at her face because clearly, she wasn't giving him a good answer to start with. His voice somehow woke up the daze Simione was in and without even thinking over things, she blurted out words that tore every hope in Hawk Monsanto's heart.

"Yes!" Simione almost gasped at it, as if she herself couldn't believe she said it. However after seconds of self scrutiny, she answered again. This time more determined.  "Yes! I love him. Now what does it have to do with you? You knew nothing of love, Hawk Monsanto!"

Nothing could define the hurt that Hawk felt right then. It was like he was brought to the past, at the time when he went on running, chasing someone whom he never wanted to lose. However despite all he did and her will to catch up, he still ended up losing it.

"You might be right. knew nothing of love," He scoffed, but after a while Hawk seemed to agree on it after pondering for seconds. However, even so, he confidently brought his grey eyes to look at her. "But I know I love you,"

"Love isn't like this, isn't like us," Simione pointed, almost like crying. Truth was, things went so bizarre right after she said about how she felt about Lyndon Tang. Deep in her heart, she knew she had told Hawk the right words. She indeed still loves Lyndon. She had always loved him. 

However, looking at the pain that rushed to Hawk's eyes, something inside her cried for it. It was like she had made one of the greatest betrayal she did in her entire life, more shameful and sinful than what she did with the Feather Project. It was like this time, she had finally been lost, lost something she didn't even know what.

"How could you even say that after everything," Hawk's voice went unfamiliar.

"We actually don't have anything rather than this shamelessness," Simione closed her eyes for a moment trying to hold off her words but her confusion and her longing for Lyndon right then got mixed up and she ended up lashing it all out to Hawk. "You see? We're illegal. Whatever happened between us should have never happened. I'm sorry okay.It was my fault. Now, I'm trying to fix things, let me,"

"How? By going home to the boy who abandoned you?" Hawk could feel more anger rising in his veins yet he was trying to suppress it all for Simione's sake. He didn't want to break loose in front of her, he shouldn't or he will lose her forever.

"I belong there Hawk, can't you see?" Simione answered, her voice then was full of something—pain, regret, unsureness. However she herself was full of emotions right then as the man whom he thought will never be back again, came back after a long time, alive. God must have heard her answer right? To make Lyndon live? If so, then she should not waste any time away from him.

"Listen Hawk. You told me you love me, but do you really know love at all?" Simione started explaining things over. "You are not the kind of man who can be dictated by others so I know very well your relationship with Feather isn't fake, nor was it arranged. You choose her because you liked her and this time, you choose to marry her because she meant something to you. Yet, even after all this, even with Feather by your side, you easily get attached to me. That only means you haven't loved her at all, you haven't love at all. How can you then claim that you love me?

"That man abandoned you, Cat! For Christ sake! How can you be that martyr?" Hawk shouted, ignoring her previous long statement because it was hurting him in so many ways. How could she compare what he has for her to his relationship with Feather? However, she was indeed right. He did get attached to her easily even when the woman of his dreams was already by her side and he was dearly guilty at that.

"Because that is how love is Hawk!" Simione shouted back at the same intensity at him. If he was frustrated with all this, she too was. If only he knew! "It's supposed to be unconditional! If you love a person, you'll continually love them no matter how much they've changed, no matter how much they had hurt you, no matter how much things between you got worst every time...you will always and always end up loving them,"

Simione's tears fell this time. Hawk's words totally made sense but how can her foolish heart be so cruel to her? Why indeed was until then, she was still feeling all this love and responsibility to Lyndon when he indeed had hurt her. But Lyndon was just young at that time, so was she. Perhaps if they had been a little bit older, like now, perhaps things could have changed.

There was dead silence after that and Simione took a step back to remind Hawk to let her go. However, he didn't.

"Did you just play on me? All those times that you came to me, was that all a game to you Cat?" Hawk's voice bore resentments he had right then. He couldn't believe it. After the fact that he had finally chosen—the girl whom he chose managed to break his heart overnight and chose another man—Instant karma right?

"I don't know," Simione's throat went bone dry. She somehow did not expect such a confrontation that it caught her off guard, unprepared to whatever he was asking her. In the end, she said words to end the conversation and be gone because honestly, their conversation right there was giving her more scarce than the river in front of them.  "I just wanted to become your woman...once...but that doesn't matter anymore now. We have quit playing games and face the truth,"

"The truth that you are choosing another man over me?" Hawk pointed, feeling the last line of his patience going thin.

"The truth that I knew love and you don't," Simione looked away.

Her answer made her smirked and he felt utterly insulted at that. "How could you treat my love so shallow Sisi," 

"Am I not supposed to?" Simione dared to add more insult to his injury. "You didn't love Feather, how could you love me?"

Hawk didn't answer anymore but Simione felt that his grab on her tightened. The glow in his eyes went darker too, just like how the surroundings between them as the sun had already set. Feeling his intensity, Simione shakes a bit, scared. He was a Monsanto afterall and he said unforgivable words to him just right then. Would she hurt him then?

"Hawk!" Simione was surprised when all of the sudden, Hawk pulled her to him and carried him on his back like a sack bag. Shit! Was he really determined to keep her then? 

"Let me go—What are you doing? Hawk!" Everything right then went unexpectedly different from what all Simione thought. Hawk did carry her, but he didn't carry her back to the road to Comis Village, instead, the M Conglomerate President carried her to the river, grabbed onto the rope himself after he positioned the girl in his back steadily, like he was piggybacking her.

"Hawk! What are you doing?"

"Showing you how shallow my love for you is," Hawk sarcastically replied and started moving to cross the river, with Simione at his back—deadly terrified.