The Immortal Emperor Returns

Chapter 302 - Picnic and Barbecue

Chapter 302 Picnic and Barbecue

Hardly a fool, Yan Wushuang immediately caught Chu Xun’s gist.

Yet before he could speak.

“Someone’s coming,” the purple-haired woman interrupted.

Yan Wushuang listened; there really were footfalls drawing near.

“Let’s hide. Let’s them scout the path ahead for us,” said Chu Xun.

They hurried to hide themselves behind an enormous, misshapen boulder.

It did not take long for the newcomers to come near and they could hear their voices.

“It’s possible that Yan Wushuang has entered the glen, Master Fengling,”

It was Zang Fengling, accompanied by more than a dozen powerful Sixth-grade Human Kings.

“That’s fine. With that fool trailblazing the path for us, he’ll save us a lot of trouble,” sneered Zang Fengling.

Skulking behind the boulder unseen, Chu Xun winked at Yan Wushuang.

A browbeaten Yan Wushuang stared darkly at Zang Fengling. He’s calling me a fool, he thought. If only I had dealt one more stroke last night.

“We still need to be careful, Master Fengling,” said another of the newcomers, “That gigantic yeti was horrifying.”

“What is there to be afraid of? We have Yan Wushuang leading the charge like the cannon fodder he should be. All we have to do is just follow behind. In fact, I’d hope that he encounters something as powerful as a Beast Lord. Hopefully, it can cripple him, or better, kill him,” said Zang Fengling mockingly.

“I’d rather hope that he’s just crippled so that we can deal him the final blow ourselves.”

The men talked and chattered with contempt, not knowing that Yan Wushuang was listening unnoticed.

In fact, Yan Wushuang would have charged and attacked these men if not for Chu Xun holding him back. Every word of insult Zang Fengling’s men sprouted already had him boiling with rage.

“Keep up. Sneaky bastard, this Yan Wushuang. He wants to be the first to find the prize of the ancient ruins and we must not let him succeed,” said Zang Fengling.

The newcomers picked up their pace and hurried quickly into the glen.

Chu Xun waited until they were out of earshot before he released his grip of Yan Wushuang.

The latter was seething darkly, but at the same time, he applauded Chu Xun’s wit which had prevented him from being a true fool instead.

Despite his boorish and crude outlook, that all belied a sharp and keen mind.

Fortunately, Yan Wushuang kept such thoughts to himself, afraid that Chu Xun might beat him up instead.

“It’ll take more time for the others to catch up. Let’s eat before we carry on,” said Chu Xun, dragging the ten-meter long snake tail to the edge of the pond where he began busying himself skinning it and cleaning it.

With Yan Wushuang looking tremendously glum, there was no way he would ever be willing to help with such chores beneath his dignity, as Chu Xun well knew, and he needed to do it himself.

A pair of eyes glowing like fiery lanterns appeared in the water, burning with malevolence repugnance at Chu Xun.

Chu Xun could never be able to miss those eyes glaring at him. He knew what it was: the monster python, and that it was afraid to come up.

“Whatcha lookin’ at? Come on up if you dare,” taunted Chu Xun.

From underneath the water, the giant snake flailed its trunk, shooting a jet of water that sprayed several meters high, splashing wet a helpless Chu Xun who could hardly employ his Hong Meng Immortal Qi before Yan Wushuang’s eyes.

Yan Wushuang grabbed his sword and ripped it out of his scabbard. He saw the two bulbous eyes glowing underwater like flames and fired a Sword Qi bolt at them.

With surprising agility, the monster python wriggled deeper into the depths of the pond, vanishing as the Sword Qi accomplished nothing except to harmlessly splash the surface of the water that ultimately doused Chu Xun like a wet chicken all over again.

“Dammit, Yan Wushuang,” Chu Xun muttered darkly, “Come here! Deal with this!” And he marched off, seething, delegating the job of skinning and cleaning the carcass to him.

Yan Wushuang managed a weak smile. It was an honest mistake. As the proud scion and heir of the Yan Family, he had never once performed menial chores like this, and additionally, eating snake flesh was hardly his kind of epicurean pleasure.

That prompted him to further assign the job to one of his Sixth-grade Human Kings.

Before long, plumes of smoke began rising lazily into the air, laced with the sweet, juicy aroma of grilled meat.

Yan Wushuang’s face turned dark. Chu Xun was roasting a dozen-or-so kilogram slab of snake meat over the fire, using his three-foot long sword like a spit.

Sizzle!

Shiny, golden juice sluiced from the broiling meat as Chu Xun flipped the gold-chestnut slab of roasted snake meat up and down again and again.

What a shame that I brought no seasoning, Chu Xun mused. I must remember the carry some with me the next time I get out.

In just a little while longer, he was finally satisfied with the meat now glistening magnificently with a thick, pungent scent.

He tore a small piece and nibbled on it. Despite not having any seasoning, it tasted delicious.

“Come, everyone. Let’s enjoy some barbecued snake meat.”

Chu Xun ripped a piece off the slab of meat and offered it to the purple-haired woman. But she leaped away with horror, refusing to eat not one bite at all.

“Come, Yan! It’s good!”

Yan Wushuang shook his head. As much as he was a man, he was a veritable germaphobe with a strong fixation on cleanliness and hygiene with a strong dislike for slithery creatures and things.

“What about you guys?” Chu Xun asked the remaining four Human Kings.

All four of Yan Wushuang’s men shook their heads, refusing the offer profusely.

“What a bloody waste!” Chu Xun scowled and went back into digging in on his food.

As the others watched Chu Xun gobbled hungrily on the meat, a strange thought loomed in their minds: Is it really so delicious?

“U-U-Urm, Master Liu,” spoke one of the Human Kings at last, no longer able to keep his curiosity bridled, “Can I have a piece?”

Chu Xun ripped off a large piece that almost weighed one kilogram and gave it to him.

“Thank you, Master Liu.” The man took the piece of meat and carefully bit on it. As soon as he sank his teeth into the juicy, succulent meat, he felt it melting in his mouth and he beamed with satisfaction as the magical nourishment of the meat coursed through his veins, invigorating him.

Like a ravenous beast, he began wolfing down on his meat with zero reservation.

Huh?! Is it really that good?! The rest of the Human Kings wondered. They went to Chu Xun and each asked for small morsels apiece, and in just minutes, they began begging for more.

It did not take long for all four of them, with Chu Xun, to devour the entire slab of meat hefting more than a dozen kilogram until the last bit.

“Help yourselves; we still have more. Go roast them yourselves if you like,” said Chu Xun.

They drew their weapons and began hacking at the giant snake carcass, before lifting the meat on their shoulders as they went back to the banks of the pond to skin and clean it before cooking it.

The meat was fresh, making it easier for them to absorb its nourishment. Even after guzzling down more than one kilogram of meat, they could still eat more and ultimately, even Yan Wushuang joined in the feasting as well.

That left only the purple-haired woman, who remained adamant to not get any nearer the snake meat. The men enjoyed the feast of roasted snake meat with delight and never stopped eating until they finally could have no more.

The rest of the raw meat was unabashedly divided by the four Human Kings, who muttered they would like to enjoy it at home.

“Someone’s coming,” hissed the woman suddenly.

Everyone quickly lay prone, pulling as close as they could behind the cover of the huge boulder.

A few men, all of them clad in purple vestments, strolled past.

“It’s the Chamber of Purple Garments,” said Yan Wushuang, “Gods, I didn’t expect to see them here.”

The Chamber of Purple Garments, a mystic-veiled, but yet no less notorious brotherhood of assassins that accepted whatever assignment so long as it profits them.

More people ambled past them, every score of them from different organizations or factions.

“Let’s go,” said Chu Xun.

The company of seven trailed behind, moving towards the inside of the glen.

...

Roar!

A ridiculously huge lion with a shiny coat of golden fur let loose a thunderous roar. Smooth and lustrous was its fur that it felt silky to the touch, yet its roars were so terrible that shock waves rippled, spreading far and wide.

Zang Fengling was becoming mad. He had been sloughing through one Beast Lord-class monster after another and the blood on his robes could hardly dry before the next one would come out from nowhere.

The last monster he slew, not without much difficulty, was a gigantic scorpion the size of a huge grinding stone; a Sixth-grade Beast Lord with a sting as strong as iron that could easily split the ground with one hit. Its venom could easily dissolve even the hardest rock and Zang Fengling could not have defeated it without one of his men getting severely wounded.

And before he could even enjoy a respite, out of nowhere came the enormous golden lion capable of delivering shock wave attacks just by using its roars.

The lion roared again.

More shock waves barreled at them and he and his men ducked quickly, barely evading the blow that pummeled several boulders into pieces.

“KILL EM!”

Zang Fengling yelled a battle cry, rallying his men to attack together. Internal Breath shafts soared into the air, each taking the shapes of fists and palms, raining down on the lion.

However, this monster lion, a Beast Lord-class animal very close to reaching Seventh-grade, possessed enough toughness to fight head-to-head against Zang Fengling.

It was a fierce battle that not even their greater number could barely give them any edge. Instead, one of the Fifth-grade Human Kings was squashed by the lion with its paw into mince meat.

In the end, it took Zang Fengling employing the use of one of his best Sacred Relics to finally drive the gargantuan lion away.

“How on earth did Yan Wushuang and his men got past?!” gasped one of his men, aghast with horror.

“Fool, we’ve been tricked,” growled Zang Fengling with fury blazing in his eyes.

He finally understood what happened: after killing the giant yeti outside, Yan Wushuang and his men must have realized that more dangers lurked inside, and hence they decided to hide while allowing others to do the fighting for them.

“All of you, find somewhere to hide,” he barked. Nothing would compel him to continue being the fool anymore.

After several moments, they saw the contingent of the Chamber of Purple Garments marching past.

“Should we follow them, Master Fengling?”

“No, we wait. The ruins have yet to appear, idiot. There’s no need to rush.”

With that, his men remained in hiding.

They watched from their prowl several more groups of men passing by them, but still, Zang Fengling showed no intention of moving. He was waiting for Yan Wushuang.

And so his patience did no go unrewarded; in the end, Yan Wushuang and his retinue appeared.

But what he saw almost had him spitting venom.

The unknown bumbling fool of a stranger was with him! And what’s more, every one of his men was chomping down on gold-chestnut chops of roasted meat, meandering down the path so casually that one might think that they were actually on a camping trip!

As it turned out, Yan Wushuang’s four Human Kings had roasted too much meat earlier. Reckoning that throwing away any surpluses would be a wicked waste, they decided to just continue enjoying the meat as they got on their journey.

“Stop. There are people here,” the purple-haired woman spoke suddenly, her gaze transfixed on a huge boulder rock.

“It appears that there are people who have the same idea that we did,” observed Chu Xun dryly, already aware of Zang Fengling’s presence.

“Come on out, my friend,” yelled Yan Wushuang.

Zang Fengling emerged darkly from behind the boulder with the rest of his men in tow.

“Wow, Zang. You’re early,” greeted Yan Wushuang with a chuckle.

Zang Fengling’s chest heaved and puffed as he struggled to keep his rage in check. Putting on a frosty sneer, he said, “I daresay you came much earlier than I did. What left you behind us?”

“We’re here to enjoy some picnic and barbecue. Are you here for the same?” interjected Chu Xun, waving the chop of roasted snake meat in his hand. “Do you want some? They’re good.”

Barbecue?!

Do you take me for a fool?! Zang Fengling almost yelled out loud. Do you expect me to believe that you’ve come two hundred kilometers only for a picnic in the middle of a snow?!

“Surely you jest,” hissed Zang Fengling with ice; he harbored just as much animosity for Chu Xun as Yan Wushuang.

“What makes you say so?” blurted Chu Xun with feigned ignorance, “We’re really here for a picnic. Look at the beautiful scenery here all around us – the picturesque vista of this enclave. Beautiful, won’t you say? Only I did not expect to see you here too.”

Beautiful scenery?! Picturesque vista?!

Everyone stared at him. As if a dry, barren savannah now peppered with snowfalls could really be described as “beautiful” and “picturesque”!

“It takes a certain mindset to fully feel and enjoy the beauty of Nature. If you fail to see how pretty this place is, that only means that you are not matured enough, or your understanding and wisdom of Nature is just too cursory,” said Chu Xun earnestly.

Damn your goddamned understanding and wisdom. It was all Zang Fengling could do to prevent himself from cursing out loud. Do you think we honestly can’t see that you’re sprouting piffle?!

“How about we walk together, Yan?” said Zang Fengling to Yan Wushuang, trying his best to ignore Chu Xun, “Perhaps I can learn a thing or two from you in understanding the wisdom of Nature too.” If not for this bumbling fool’s incredibly strong Hard Cross Technique, Zang Fengling would have relished the chance to kill him!