The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

Chapter 245: Bird Brain

Chapter 245: Bird Brain

“…This is strange!”

“…VERY strange, sir!”

“I don’t get it!”

“Why?!”

“Why are we the mining crew?!”

“WHYYYYYY?!”

We’re walking through the mountainous region west of the city of Sodom, following Garm Kisaragi’s directions.

I never expected us to be chosen for this task – they just didn’t care whether or not we were combatants as well.

And sure enough, our Pochibitan D supply is starting to run out.

Getting a change of scenery is nice and all, but it’s quite hard to believe that I’m considered a lower-priority combatant now.

Which reminds me, Garm had a smirk on his face when we left – Could it be that he has something else planned?

“By the way… Pochi?”

“What is it, sir?”

“What’s your opinion on how quickly Giorno and Lylia got so strong?”

“Wellllll… it makes them look like real Holy Warriors, sir. Especially how they instantly overtook all your effort and training! They’re outstanding! Explosively outstanding!”

The hell is she talking about?

Okay, real talk – it IS true that Giorno and Lylia have gotten astronomically stronger over the past year.

The problem here is that there has been very little contact between both of us and the two other Holy Warriors. And I mean VERY little.

This means our relationship dynamics have not changed all that much from when we had started.

All of this is because every single one of us has completely separate roles within Sodom.

Lylia and Seki’teigyu patrol around the Sodom Region, watching out for any and all threats, while Giorno is responsible for fighting the advancing monsters.

Pochi, just like her days in Faltown, hunts for edible monsters, and kills monsters in places where Seki’teigyu can’t enter with its gigantic body.

…And I’m stuck managing logistical support.

I don’t even get to see my Familiar Pochi all that often.

Even when the Apostles of Despair appeared, Giorno could deal with them by himself most of the time, what with him having fully awakened to his powers.

With all the Holy Warriors pretty much permanently assigned to different places, it’s no wonder that we don’t get to see one another.

BUT…

“So… Pochi?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The Holy Warriors we knew from stories… weren’t like this at all, were they?”

“To be fair, they were STORIES, sir… and it’s unfortunate that we haven’t gotten to talk much over the past year. I know everyone’s been busy helping the extremely harsh conditions of Sodom, but if this goes on, we might not be able to work well together when Devil King Lucifer comes back. That’s quite worrying, sir.”

My thoughts exactly.

Will we be able to effectively fight the Devil King when the time comes?

Having fought Bathym, I got a rough idea of how strong the Devilkin are.

But when we fight the Devil King, will he face off against us alone? Or will he have other Devils supporting him?

And are there going to be more monsters standing in our way? Ones we’ve never seen before, with strength on a whole new level?

How strong can the Devilkin get? And the monsters? …And the Devil King himself?

Of course, Pochi and I have gained more levels over the past year, and with that, a boost to our strength and arcane energy.

Even if Garm were to create us some new gear from the Drynium metal we’re looking for, will that help us with getting past our adversaries ahead?

And considering our relative lack of camaraderie now, will we even be able to defeat the Devil King? …Now, what exactly SHOULD we be doing?

“So we know that the Devil King will be fully resurrected soon, sir, but shouldn’t we start considering what comes after that now? We’ll have to move away from Sodom sooner or later once that happens, sir.”

“…Right, that’s important.”

“Oh, isn’t this the place, Master? It’s that valley we were told about!”

It looks more like a narrow hole straight down to hell than a valley, though.

Looking for a ‘dream’ in ‘hell,’ huh? Very clever, Mother Nature, very clever. This is why I don’t like going outside.

“…But how are we supposed to get down there, sir?”

“So you’re a bird… right, Pochi?”

“Aha! I almost forgot! …I can sprout out my wings! And smack you with them, sir!”

…Nope, not happening.

“OH NO!! I just remembered that I DON’T have wings!”

And I can’t even remember how many times this joke’s been recycled over the past year… It’s more like she keeps forgetting about it.

Has her brain turned into that of a bird or what?

Seeing that Chappie had some similar issues, the possibility actually isn’t out of the question.

“Welp. We just gotta ‘walk’, no big deal.”

“Down this slope?! That’s impossible, sir! Let’s wait until my wings come out! Please?!”

Don’t look at me like that! You’ll never have wings, damn it!

I can understand her excitement, what with this being our first non-hunting trip out of town in quite a while, but she’s getting WAY too excited.

“Ah-?! W-wha-?! What’re you doing, Master?! You pervert!”

“Make yourself useful and SHUT UP! We can’t go down properly if I don’t carry you on my shoulder like this!”

“I don’t like it this way, sir! It looks like I’m being carried to a roasting spit! Gimme a piggyback ride! Piggy! Back! Ride!”

“Ow-! Okay, okay, fine! Stop hitting my head already!”

Pochi wriggled around, positioning herself so that her legs kicked my head.

Damn this dog… she’s in for some punishment later!

“Hup!”

“-?! aaAaAaAaaaaAhhHHhHhhHHHhhhHHhH?!”

I jumped down the slope, basking in Pochi’s screams as we plunged into the ravine below.

Now I’ve got to release some arcane energy, and then-

“-Remote Control!”

“Hwuh-?! W-what is happening?! How are we floating?!”

“You know how the Remote Control spell can carry stuff when converted to the fixed-position type? Applying its principles, I figured a way to cast a repellent arcane force on the air like this… Step on it and apply a bit of force, and I can walk pretty easily – Rise! Rise! Rise! Just follow the proper rhythm!”

“Ohh! This is nice, sir! But how is this different from the flight spell that you failed to make, Master?!”

Right, I used to research into that back in the day.

“You mean the one that involved casting a strong Remote Control effect on myself? It’s impossible to control because my control over my body is gonna be controlled by the Control magic… so yeah.”

“That sounds almost like a tongue twister, sir.”

Right, like how when one is tied up, they wouldn’t be able to move even if they want to.

“At the end of the day, it’s just an arcane energy control technique to help break my fall – something like Whirlwind that I can walk on. Actual flight magic is still a dream in a dream, really.”

The ability of free flight has been quite a widely researched topic all over the world.

But whether or not it can actually be done is still very uncertain.

It might remain a dream forever, but if it actually exists, then it’ll be one hell of a useful tool.

“Hmm… So even after you have the full Holy Warrior power, there are still so many things you can’t achieve, sir?”

“Of course. Well, right now I’m trying to implement some other magic spell, though…”

“Huh? What’s that, sir? Please tell me about it!”

“H-hey! Stop moving around! Controlling this air-walk isn’t easy, you know!”

“Nah, you’ll be fine, sir! C’mon, c’mon! If you don’t tell me, I’ll drop you down, sir!”

Does she not realize that if I were to fall, she’d fall as well?

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!”

…Nope, she doesn’t.

I don’t really want to talk about it, because she’ll only mock me if I were to tell her about an incomplete spell, but anything to get her furry ass off my case, I guess…

“Okay, fine… it’s an instant transference spell. I named it the Instant Teleportation, or InTel for short.”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! But that’s impossible, sir!”

SHIT, I CALLED IT! She just started laughing like there’s no tomorrow!

“Pochi! I’m your Master, dammit! You really have to talk me down at every chance she gets, huh?!”

“I mean, that’s just too good to be true, sir! And you’ve already given up on it once – like, you got rid of all your research materials! While laughing like a maniac!”

“I was DEPRESSED AS HELL because I wasted DECADES on that failed work, so I coped by overdosing on Laughing Bamboo! THAT’S WHY!”

“How was I supposed to know that?! You were LAUGHING! ……Wah-!”

What the… why’d Pochi’s voice lose all energy all of a sudden? Right at the point where a long-winded argument would normally start? What’s going on? Did she see a monster up ahead or what?

“…What’s wrong, Pochi?”

I nervously asked, but then-

“Gah-?!”

That freakin’ hurt!

“What is wrong with you?! You can’t just hit me whenever you feel like it, dammit!”

“Master, you fool!”

“What the hell?!”

“Master! Why didn’t you stop me when I was about to drop you down?! I was so close to dropping myself along with you, too!!”

“I FREAKING DID! THAT’S WHY WE DIDN’T FALL, YOU RETARD!”

“Keep your eyes forward and watch your step! To the rhythm! One, two! One, two! If you mess up, I’ll kick you down!”

And if I fall, she’s gonna fall with me. Man, this dog NEVER learns…

“Master, you fool!”

“You damned furball!”

“You damned fool!”

“You damned bird brain!”

“I AM a bird!”

And so the long-winded argument ensued.