Chapter 189: Not so sweet Home
Chapter 189: Not so sweet Home
'H-how?'
The thing in his hand was none other than the Mask of the Mischievous—the same mask the Shapeshifters used to fuck with him and everyone else.
This was the upgraded version, complete with a golden pattern over one eye, looking as out of place as a dick-shaped balloon at a kid's birthday party.
'How the fuck is this in this world?!'
Before he could even begin to wrap his head around the impossibility of it all, he hit the ground—or more accurately, he crash-landed onto the roof of a car with the kind of force that would make a wrecking ball jealous.
The vehicle crumpled like a cheap tin can, and Kaisen wasn't doing much better.
Boom! Crackle!
He rolled off the roof and landed in a heap beside the totaled car. But the real miracle was that he was on solid ground, clutching the Mask in one hand and wincing at what felt like several broken bones.
"M-my back! My back!"
He groaned, clutching his spine as the car alarm blared like an angry banshee. Despite the pain and the chaos, he felt a twisted sense of relief. He was back in his world, broken bones, and all.
He could feel the rough texture of the paved road beneath him, a familiar sensation that brought back countless memories of growing up on these streets.
As he lay there, staring up at the night sky, devoid of stars and satellites but filled with neon advertisements and city smog, a small, bittersweet smile tugged at his lips.
'I...uh...I really am back, huh?'
He raised his hand towards the "stars," which were actually just bright, flashing billboards selling everything from synthetic dicks to virtual girlfriends.
A grin spread across his face, nearly breaking into tears from the overwhelming mix of happiness and sadness flooding his system.
'Thank...thank fuck! Thank fuck!'
Suddenly, a shiny piece of floating metal junk caught his eye, interrupting his emotional moment. It looked like a large spider, with eight metal legs and a bulbous, rugby-shaped head. The head sported a comically large, glowing red eye, staring down at him with unsettling intensity.
'A surveillance drone? What the fuck is this thing doing here? Did it come to check on the car or something?'
Without warning, a red light shot out from the drone's eye, scanning his face. He squinted against the harsh light, cursing under his breath.
"Target found! Target found! Kayden is here!"
The drone's mechanical voice blared like it had just discovered the world's most notorious criminal. But the thing that made Kaisen really frown was the name the drone used.
"Hey, don't disrespect me like that, okay?"
Kaisen snapped at the drone, glaring daggers at its flailing metal arms. The little bastard looked like it was trying to dance, but instead, it was just pissing him off.
Then, suddenly, he heard a commotion behind him—like a herd of elephants stampeding in his direction. Frowning, he painfully twisted his head to look back, and what he saw made his heart feel like it was trying to beat its way out of his chest.
A group of eight or nine enormous men were charging toward him. They looked like a freak show lineup of augmented humans, kitted out with Bio wares and Cyber wares.
Some of them had glowing red eyes—just one, not both—making them look like they had Christmas lights installed in their skulls.
And the pièce de résistance? One of these hulking nightmares had a small cannon strapped to his shoulder, like he was about to bring the Fourth of July early.
'Hunters? What the fuck is going on here?'
Now Kaisen was seriously worried. This wasn't just some random drone checking out a crashed car; it was one of the Hunters, sent to identify him—or rather, his twin brother, Kayden, who looked exactly like him but with a slightly better haircut.
'What the fuck did that bastard do now?'
The crowd of men closed in on him, their wrists transforming into makeshift weapons. Guns sprouted from palms, blazing axes and electric knives materialized, looking like they were cobbled together from the junk lying around. It was like a scrapyard Frankenstein convention.
Kaisen tried to move, but his broken bones screamed louder than a banshee on a bad day. If this were the game world, he'd just stand up, dust himself off, and continue like nothing had happened. But here, in the unforgiving physical world, he was as good as dead with broken bones.
Even thinking about buying Medsticks made his wallet weep—those would cost him hundreds of Credits, something he'd have to grind for a month to accumulate.
"Fuck you, you little metal piece of junk!"
Kaisen cursed at the stupid drone that had given his position away. He had no idea what his brother had done to trigger this witch hunt in the dead of night, but clearly, things had changed since he left.
Now, it seemed like everyone and their grandmother was out to get him.
'Fuck that little shit of mine.'
"You bastard! The glory of having your head will be mine!"
One of the brutes with a blazing axe laughed out loud, mere meters away from him.
Kaisen could now see the man must be at least six feet tall, built like a fucking rhino, and clad in heavy armor. Yet the ease with which he carried himself made it seem like he wasn't wearing any armor at all.
"It's not me! It's not me! I'm not Kayden, I'm Kaisen! You have the wrong person here!" Kaisen desperately shouted, but the madman just laughed harder.
"Oh? Are you cowering in fear in front of this great bulldozer, huh? To think that even the great Devil of the Hell has heard about me is just marvelous. My name shall spread even wider across the whole universe than yours, Kayden! Bow to me now, and I might just be kind enough to only kill you!"
The bulldozer man started to laugh maniacally, his red ruby eyes shining ominously.
'Who the fuck is this moron now? First day back, and I already have a goddamn bounty on my head? Fuck!!!'
Kaisen raged internally, feeling like he'd walked straight into a circus of chaos.
Just then, the Bulldozer Man with his axe that looked like it had been stolen from a dragon, swung down with a roar. The axe blazed like a fiery comet, coming straight for Kaisen's head.
"I'll make sure your head will hang in the city square for all the fools to see as an example!"
Bulldozer Man declared, his voice dripping with menace. Kaisen braced himself, eyes locked on the incoming axe, and took a deep breath, preparing to dodge at the last possible moment.
The last thing he wanted was to end up a grotesque decoration for the city's square, but dodging could make things worse—angry giant, pissed-off goons behind him, and all that.
But luck—or maybe divine intervention—had a different plan. Out of nowhere, the sharp crack of a gunshot split the air.
Kaisen's eyes widened like saucers as a streak of light zipped over him, and the next thing he knew, Bulldozer's head exploded in a bloody firework display, showering the area with a crimson mist.
"What the fuck!"
Kaisen muttered in bewilderment, unable to believe what just happened. It was like some crazy-ass game script where the hero gets saved at the last second.
Bulldozer's headless body was launched a meter back, flopping like a ragdoll from the impact of the bullet.
Then, a sudden screeching noise like a bike coming to an abrupt stop pierced the air. Painfully, Kaisen lifted his head to see the newcomer. His jaw dropped.
'You gotta be fucking kidding me.'
A sleek black bike had skidded to a dramatic halt, like something straight out of an action movie.
Perched on top was a rider clad in a tight black leather suit that hugged every curve from neck to toe. The suit was so damn tight Kaisen practically drooled at the sight of her ass cheeks, perfectly outlined and firm.
'Now here's a lady who looks both dangerous and hot,'
he thought, his eyes fixed on her like a hungry wolf.