The Returner

Chapter 126: Well now, been a while so let’s go crazy (1)

Chapter 126: Well now, been a while so let’s go crazy (1)

– Who is it? Who’s playing with his alternate character?

– Seriously, he must be a pro gamer. No, wait. Not even a pro can play like this.

– Could it be the person that I’m thinking of?

Affeldrichae formed a subtle smile when she read the comments appearing in the chat window.

– Who is it? Are you even human?

– Honestly, it can’t be. No, wait. Not even a monkey would play this bad.

– By any chance, are you playing with your tongue, instead?

Driiip.

Yi Ji-Hyuk wiped the tears welling up in his eyes as he read the comments appearing in the chat window.

“How can our treatment be this different....”

Even if one’s skills determined everything in the world of video games, how could a human being lose out to a lizard?

How could this make any sort of sense?!

Affeldrichae turned her head slightly and gazed at Yi Ji-Hyuk for a bit before looking away with a smirk on her face.

That d*mn b*tch!!!

Did she just laugh at me? She did, didn’t she?!

How dare a lowly lizard.....

Ah, hang on. She’s a bit more special than that, no?

If you compare humans to dragons, then humans are inferior in pretty much all respects, indeed.

Godd*mn it, how can this primate lose to a fatty lizard?!

Yi Ji-Hyuk clicked on the defeat button while spitting out a lengthy groan.

I guess I can’t do this anymore. I’ve had enough of losing, and I keep losing over and over and over again....

Mm?

Ehh?

Hang on a minute.....

The solution to all my problems has been staring straight at my face and I didn’t even notice it until now....

“Hey, lizard woman.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes?” (Affeldrichae)

“I’ve got something to say to you.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae cheerfully clicked on the victory button and spun around on her chair to face Yi Ji-Hyuk with a gentle smile on her face.

“”Please. Speak any time you feel like.” (Affeldrichae)

Yi Ji-Hyuk formed an unreadable expression as he stared at Affeldrichae, before his lips parted rather laboriously.

“Y, you! Me!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mm?”

His expression now half in humiliation, Yi Ji-Hyuk shuddered for a while before crying out.

“T, teach me how to play this game!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Affeldrichae tilted her head as if she was confused by this request.

It kind of felt like that this was the very first time the bundle-of-ego Yi Ji-Hyuk had asked her for a favour....

But, it was for a game?

“Could it be that video games hold a very special meaning to human beings?” (Affeldrichae)

“I, I don’t think so?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yet, you’re still asking me for a favour....” (Affeldrichae)

Affeldrichae breathed in softly and lightly stroked her lips before nodding her head.

“Well, it’s fine. I’m not too happy about the fact that the first favour you’ve ever asked me is for this little thing, but as it’s something within my powers, I shall guide you as much as you wish.” (Affeldrichae)

“Affeldrichae!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk was truly moved by her answer.

And so....

They had been on the opposing side for around a millennium.

Only after a thousand years had passed by did the first step in their potential cooperative relationship finally take place.

That was what he thought.

....At least for the time being.

***

“I said, back away!! Back!! Don’t you know what ‘back’ means?” (Affeldrichae)

“....I’m doing it, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Do you have a problem with your cochlea? Or did your brain develop a problem in deciphering the words you hear?” (Affeldrichae)

“..........”

What is this?

This wasn’t what I had in mind..... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“You’re not supposed to attack back in that position, but to evade! Evade! Why do you recklessly engage an enemy far stronger than you? A mouse is supposed to run away when facing a cat, so with what balls are you fighting the other person? Where did you even find such confidence? At the bare minimum, if you’re a human, no, if you’re simply a living creature, shouldn’t you be born with the natural survival instinct of trying to find out the difference in the power between the opponent and yourself?” (Affeldrichae)

Wowsers!!

I didn’t know she could talk this much.

No, hang on a second. She did talk a lot back then, but I never got the feeling that she was a chatterbox. Since when did she morph into a type to fire verbal bullets non-stop?

Could this be her true colours? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“A man who backs away is a disgrace!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“For someone who has been running away and hiding in dark, dank corners for hundreds of years, you sure know how to spew out such words.” (Affeldrichae)

“Nope. I’ve never done that.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He almost ended up recalling those memories, but Yi Ji-Hyuk desperately denied them all.

No!! Listen here, you demon!! I’ve never ever done that!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“So, you need to run away like you’ve been doing back then! You need to run away like a rat scurrying around in the sewers! You should run away from an enemy you can’t win against, yet why do you insist on fighting him? Why?!” (Affeldrichae)

Hey, you!!

If that’s the case, why did you try to stop me right at the end back then?

Don’t you have any morals?

Besides all that, what do you mean by a rat scurrying around in the sewers?!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“W, when did I ever do that?!?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“A human’s memory is indeed inaccurate and thus not entirely trustworthy, but at least, I’m quite sure that the memories you’ve accumulated in Berafe are absolute and complete. Did you forget everything as soon as your absolute state was undone? In that case, please don’t ask me but ask your own brain.” (Affeldrichae)

“....You evil b*tch.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

A single strand of tear rolled down from Yi Ji-Hyuk’s eye.

He just wanted to learn how to play a game, yet why was he being subjected to such a treatment?

“Think about your turns and then use your skills afterwards! If you’re going to mindlessly drum on the keyboard as if you’re playing a piano, then why are you even playing this game? You should just stick to playing the piano, then! Hah? Now that I saw what happened, I’m guessing it’s not your brain, but your fingers that have problems! Don’t your fingers move properly? Why haven’t you said anything? I can always hit you with a Heal anytime!” (Affeldrichae)

What the hell, what is up with her?!

She’s scary.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“I don’t want to learn anymore.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

I made a huge mistake!!

Learning how to drive and how to play games are the two things you should never ask an acquaintance for!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk suddenly felt like a noob housewife being taught how to drive by her hubby.

They said that by being taught how to drive.... no, how to play a game, one’s true colours might be revealed, and as it turned out, she was actually someone like this!!

‘I’ve been tricked until now!!’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What do you mean, you don’t want to?! You should at least play as well as an ape, don’t you think? Hold that mouse properly!!” (Affeldrichae)

“S, stop it!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk distanced his head far away from Affeldrichae as she was this close to spitting actual flames out of her mouth.

Well, she was a Dragon, after all.

Who knows, she might really fire out a Breath.

“Even if that’s the case, let’s not forget what kind of a person you are!! So, you should at least be playing at the level of an average human! Where is your pride?!” (Affeldrichae)

“That’s why I tried to learn....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You’re being noisy!!” (Affeldrichae)

Yi Ji-Hyuk slowly facepalmed.

I am....

The Bringer of Apocalypse, and....

A possessor of an immortal soul, and....

The 99th Demon King, too.

Yet, what the hell is up with this pathetic situation...... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Hah, this thing called life....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Who could’ve guessed that his life would turn out this way?

“Uhm, excuse me....” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon couldn’t find a good time to butt in between Affeldrichae and Yi Ji-Hyuk’s argument until then, but managed to slowly call out to his name.

“Mm?”

Yi Ji-Hyuk looked at Choi Jung-Hoon and tilted his head.

What could he be holding in his hand?

Was that a dictionary? A huge-a*s dictionary?

“Our negotiation with them is almost over.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Negotiation?

“Yes, the one with the Americans.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Eh?”

Was there something like that?

When Yi Ji-Hyuk displayed interest, Choi Jung-Hoon placed the bundle of documents, no, a stack of them, on top of Yi Ji-Hyuk’s desk.

“What are these?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“These are the terms that have been drawn up today.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“..........”

All of these?

They are our terms?

Just how could a man be so obsessive over even the most minute details, never mind how precise was his attempt at ripping the other side off, that the resulting documents were as thick as a dictionary?

Yi Ji-Hyuk rummaged through the documents before tilting his head.

“Mister Choi Jung-Hoon.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes, please speak.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Aren’t these just issues related to diplomatic relations? What about the stuff for me? Are there any?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Of course there are.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

As soon as stating those words, Choi Jung-Hoon spun around and headed back to his desk.

If there are, then don’t go there and tell me already.

....By the way, what could those possibly be? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Choi Jung-Hoon was carrying a stack of documents at least double the size of the previous one.

“No way?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

SLAM!!

HOLD IT!! There shouldn’t be the SFX of ‘slam’ when putting down some documents, you know!!

From a human’s perspective, that should not happen, don’t you think so?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“These are all the terms and conditions related to you, Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk!” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Yi Ji-Hyuk stared at the mountain of documents with a stupefied face, before raising his head to meet Choi Jung-Hoon’s gaze.

When seeing that confident, triumphant grin on Choi Jung-Hoon’s face, Yi Ji-Hyuk could only form a wry smile of his own.

‘I have reared a tiger cub, haven’t I....?’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Okay, so, like.... Mm.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk thumbed through the documents.

“What does this ‘rights to freely enter the casinos of Las Vegas’ even mean?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“It’s as exactly as it says.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“You had to pay to enter casinos originally?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jung-Hoon suddenly formed a lewd smile.

“But, of course. However, the term ‘casinos’ in this case is a codeword denoting a place that’s a bit more secretive, if you will. Well, I have here other documents that describe the meanings of all the codewords found in that document.....” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Please, stop it.....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shook his head with an expression that said, I’ve seen enough.

If any more documents got added on top of this pile, then he might set them on fire, instead.

“....Mister Choi Jung-Hoon, don’t you know the meaning of keeping electronic documentations?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Of course there are corresponding electronic documentations as well. However, it is the basic rule to have everything in black-and-white when negotiating with another country.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Oh, well. It’s fine, I guess.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk pushed the pile of documents slightly to the side and spoke.

“I more or less understand the terms and conditions, and I also get that they are lots of them, they are very advantageous to us, and they are unnecessarily detailed as well. So...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shrugged his shoulders.

“What do you want from me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Exterminating the monster that’s busy destroying the US, of course.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Exterminate, is it?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk spat out a long sigh.

He said as if that was a super-easy thing to do, but have Choi Jung-Hoon already forgotten what Yi Ji-Hyuk’s state looked like after fighting that Zombie Dragon?

The terms on offer were very good, and everything seemed all sorted out. And he even personally told Choi Jung-Hoon to extract as much as possible, too – yet, he didn’t really feel like going there.

“Mm, I’m not that keen on going there....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Even when Yi Ji-Hyuk spoke with a disgruntled tone of voice, Choi Jung-Hoon didn’t panic. He simply smiled gently and approached Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“Mm? What are you doing?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Sensing something ominous from that smile, Yi Ji-Hyuk faltered for a bit, but Choi Jung-Hoon wasn’t discouraged and continued to approach, before pushing forward his smartphone.

“Please take a look.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head as he stared at the screen of the phone.

“It’s a map?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes, indeed it’s a map. The current location of the monster in the US is over here.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Okay.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yesterday, it was over here.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s eyes narrowed to a slit.

“And the day before, it was here.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

When three dots were placed in a line, the creature’s direction of movement could be seen.

“Hang on. Could this be....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Do you understand now?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Nope, not at all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk dug out his ear canal and lightly blew on his fingertip.

“What are you even on about? What does this have to do with me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Maybe you didn’t see it well because it’s a 2D map, but this direction is the direct route towards Seoul.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“But, it’s the wrong direction, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Maps like this one are the 2D representation of the globe so, even though it might seem like there’s a discrepancy in the direction, it’s actually marching straight towards Korea.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“But, it doesn’t look like that to me, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jung-Hoon switched the screen of his phone off.

For a dumba*s, one had to resort to dumb methods....

“Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, forget about what you just saw.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Okay.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Let me explain again. Right now, the monster in the US is currently marching straight towards Korea.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Hul.... Seriously now?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Don’t agree with me right away like that!!

Sure, it worked out as I wanted to, but I still don’t feel good, you know!! (Choi Jung-Hoon’s inner monologue)

Choi Jung-Hoon groaned under his breath and continued on.

“At this rate, it will march past San Francisco, cross the Pacific, enter Japan and destroy it, before making landfall on the Korean peninsula.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“For a so-called ‘straight march forward’, isn’t there too many places it’s planning to stop by? Isn’t this more like it’s on a trip around the world?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....How observant.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon coughed to clear his throat.

“Also, isn’t it possible that its route is just a pure coincidence?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That’s simply not possible.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Mm?”

“Monsters in other places have begun heading in this direction as well.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Mmmm?”

“If you think about it, then that Dragon you defeated also made a straight beeline for Korea, didn’t it?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Did we slather honey all over this place or what....?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“We don’t know the reason, but whatever the case may be, all the monsters that appeared this time are marching towards the Korean peninsula. If they enter the ocean, we will no longer have anyone to negotiate with. It’s more likely that we’ll be breaking our backs trying to defend ourselves, instead.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“You’re probably right.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That is why, it’s the best for us to destroy that d*mn thing on US soil and extract as much benefits from the Americans as possible!” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Sure, you have a point there. However....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes!”

“Stop it with that mindset of yours! It’s not like I can kill one of these dang things with a snap of my fingers, you know!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

I’m also a human being, so stop trying to abuse me like a cheat code, okay?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“If you can’t kill it, then well, no one can.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Hah.....”

Yi Ji-Hyuk slumped in his chair and fell into deep thought.

‘What the heck. I need a plan here, don’t I?’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“If it’s in America, it should be simple.” (Affeldrichae)

When Affeldrichae suddenly butted in, Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head.

“You’re saying, it’s simple because it isn’t, but because it’s in America?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

What was she even on about?

Even after hearing Yi Ji-Hyuk’s question, Affeldrichae simply continued on with that cheery smile of hers.

< 126. Well now, been a while so let’s go crazy -1 > Fin.