The Returner

Chapter 86: A dirty world where only the handsome b*stards are treated nicely (1)

Chapter 86: A dirty world where only the handsome b*stards are treated nicely (1)

Chomp, chomp, crunch, crunch!

Glug, glug, glug, glug!

Chomp, chomp, crunch, crunch!

With a totally fed-up face, Yi Ye-Won glared at Yi Ji-Hyuk sitting in front of his computer doing his usual schtick.

Was this guy really a human being or a snacks shredder?

Seeing the piles of empty crisp packets and PET bottles getting taller and taller by his side, she thought she was quickly losing the grip on her sanity.

‘How can a person eat that much c**p and not gain any weight?!’ (Ye-Won)

What she was witnessing right now was the perfect storm of astonishing digestive power, mysteriously fast metabolism, and finally, the ability to maintain his body shape that defied all logic, combining to create a miracle!

Even if his regular metabolism was high to begin with, there was no way in bleeding hell that he’d not get fat after shoving down that much food down his throat!

Yi Ye-Won touched her own slightly protruding tummy ever so sneakily, then threw a venomous glare at her brother’s direction.

“Stop pigging out like that, you slob!!” (Ye-Won)

“Hul. A piggy has learnt how to speak?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Who the hell is a piggy now?!” (Ye-Won)

“Oh, my bad. A talking piggy is actually an Orc, isn’t it?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ye-Won’s entire body trembled with rage as she slowly opened her mouth.

“Have you ever seen an Orc as pretty as me? Ah?” (Ye-Won)

“Don’t say stuff that might p*ss off Orcs if they hear you, okay? Even they have their own judging standards, and they would never consider someone like you attractive.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“And how would you even know stuff like that?!” (Ye-Won)

Of course, I know.

How can I not know? Just who do you think this great brother of yours is?

However, explaining that fact to you is a long and tedious road I’d rather not walk on, you rotten little sister of mine. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Alrighty, then. Go and play over there, okay? Shoo~. Shoo.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Shoo? Shoo?! Kiss my a*s! Am I a bird?! A horse?!” (Ye-Won)

“Hmm. Probably a chicken?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’ll kill you!! Seriously!!” (Ye-Won)

“Okay, fine. I got you, so get lost already, will ya!! Why are you bothering me like this, when I finally found some down time to enjoy myself? What the hell? You like me that much?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Are you crazy?!” (Ye-Won)

“Thought as much. Even I’m sick of hearing your voice, okay? How about you and I respect our personal spaces and not run into each other no more, even if we live under the same roof? How about that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hah! Hey you, if I didn’t have a good reason, I’d never willingly come to talk to you in the first place!!” (Ye-Won)

Will you just listen to this little girl yap on and on?

I go easy on her, and she dares to call me “Hey you, hey you” over and over again?

Would she become more polite and better behaved if I throw her inside a warp gate for half a year, too?

Uh-whew. Why do I even bother. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

It wouldn’t be difficult at all for Yi Ji-Hyuk to turn this little dumb girl into the most well-behaved child in the whole wide world.

However, what was the point of doing that?

If he continued to make people kneel before him simply because he didn’t like the way they looked, made him irritated, or bothered him unnecessarily, then eventually, he’d end up with a world where no one would dare to try going up against him.

He figured that it would not be so bad to have at least one person who’d get in all over his face and shout out her piece. Especially so, if that person happened to be family.

That was what he thought. However....

His thought process definitely went down that direction. The thing was, though – he was wondering whether there was anything he could do about his head and his heart not feeling the same thing over this subject matter.

What a lamentable thing to feel, this was – while his head was saying that this was for the best, his heart was whispering the words of sweet temptation of landing a high kick to his sister’s evidently empty head.

Yi Ji-Hyuk did his absolute best to suppress his right leg from suddenly lashing out and spoke.

“If you got something to say, say it quickly and get out of my room!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Wow. Look at how a supposed older brother is speaking to his younger sibling!” (Ye-Won)

“I’m an oppa to you only in times like this! Hah! Only when you want something from me! Am I some kinda instant dinner or something?! When you need me, you just pull me out from the freezer and shove inside the microwave?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Don’t make me laugh! When have I ever used you?” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ji-Hyuk dismissively waved his hand around.

How could it be that, when it came to his family, his words would miss the mark almost all the time?

“What do you want now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Can you go with me to some place?” (Ye-Won)

“Eh?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I said, I want you to go with me to a place.” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ji-Hyuk suddenly grinned, stood up from his seat, and placed his palm on Ye-Won’s forehead.

“Hmm, doesn’t look like you’ve got fever, though.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’m not sick!” (Ye-Won)

“Mhm. Is that so. I got it. I got you, so let’s see now....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk then slowly waved his hand around in front of Ye-Won’s face.

“I haven’t lost my mind, either!” (Ye-Won)

“Well, that sure is odd. If you are of the sound mind, you’d never ever say those words to me, you know?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I also don’t wanna do this, too!” (Ye-Won)

“In that case, isn’t a thorough and exhausting explanation necessary to clear the meaning behind that dog’s barking you just imitated? If you just blurt out something like that, I can’t help but get really curious to see what’s inside that head of yours.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Groan....” (Ye-Won)

Ye-Won’s explanation was actually not that complicated.

The new school she transferred to was intrinsically linked to everything ability user related. And so, the social rankings, or the school pecking order so to speak, was established based solely on what kind of a user the family member happened to be.

Ye-Won didn’t want to lose during this schoolyard boasting session, so she talked up big time and ended up revealing the fact that her older brother was working for the NDF. Since almost everyone there knew what ‘working for the NDF’ signified, she became the centre of attention in an instant.

It was not a problem right up until there....

No, the problem was with the identity of this working-for-the-NDF Yi Ji-Hyuk.

Unfortunately, the name of Yi Ji-Hyuk the ability user was never revealed to the public, not even once. Naturally, the kids suspected Ye-Won was making stuff up, and demanded that she provide them with proof.

And after getting swept up in that childish atmosphere....

“You told them you’ll show up to meet them with me in tow?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ng.” (Ye-Won)

“With me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yeah!” (Ye-Won)

A deep smirk formed on Yi Ji-Hyuk’s face, as he suddenly placed his hands on Ye-Won’s shoulders and lifted her up.

“Kyaaah!! What are you doing?!” (Ye-Won)

Utterly not giving a toss whether she was screaming or not, Yi Ji-Hyuk carried her outside his room, dropped her there, and slammed the door shut in front of her face.

“Oh, yeah. By the way, I’m not going.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He could hear her desperate pleading coming from the other side of the door.

“Just this once, please! Just this once, for me....” (Ye-Won)

“Not interested.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hey you!! How can you say no when another human being is asking you so desperately like this?!” (Ye-Won)

*SFX for a door abruptly opening up*

The door flung open wide and Yi Ji-Hyuk’s glare bore straight into Ye-Won’s surprised eyes.

“..........”

After a short period of silently meeting his gaze, Ye-Won lowered her tail obediently.

“I’m sorry.” (Ye-Won)

Slam!

When the door slammed shut again, she changed her strategy and began throwing aegyo attacks, instead.

“Owwwwww~, oppa~~~~. Pretty please?” (Ye-Won)

“Eeeeeeck!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk was about to sit down in front of his computer, only for a serious case of goosebumps to break out all over his skin as soon as he heard that call from the depths of Hades. He hurriedly blocked his ears.

“Stop that!!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Buuut, oppppaaaa~~~.” (Ye-Won)

“Nooo! Stop!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

I’d rather have you insult me, instead!! I don’t wanna hear such things coming out of your mouth!! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“I’m gonna be treated as a loser at this rate, you know? Do you really want to see your beloved little sister get bullied like that?” (Ye-Won)

“Who’s gonna bully you? It’ll be you who instigates it, instead!!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Hah, you can only single out those that can be singled out in the first place. If you start acting like how you were like in the past, those fools hovering around wanting to bully you will disappear real fast! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Pleeeease!! I’m willing to do anything! Please help me out just this once!” (Ye-Won)

“What can you realistically do for me, anyways?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’ll go and buy snacks for you.” (Ye-Won)

“Uh?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’ll run all your errands for one month straight. Honest!” (Ye-Won)

Isn’t this... an unexpectedly good deal?

To sacrifice one day in exchange for gaining a slave, eh....? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“I want it written down in black and white.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I’ll do so.” (Ye-Won)

Well, with that kind of condition, isn’t it worth humouring her for a little bit? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Okay, before we begin, you will shoot a video with your phone that shows you pledging the oath of becoming my shuttle for a month.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....You devil!!” (Ye-Won)

“If you choose not to honour your side of the deal, I’ll send the video to everyone in your school and to all your acquaintances.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You evil b*stard!” (Ye-Won)

Kek, kek, kek. Insult me all you want, little girl.

*

“....Do I really need to wear this?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Then, what? Would you rather go out wearing that tracksuit and the slippers combo?” (Ye-Won)

“The tracksuit is the greatest invention mankind has come up with, I’ll have you know.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Oh? Then, what about your computer?” (Ye-Won)

“Let me revise that statement and say it’s the greatest piece of clothing ever invented.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

As Yi Ji-Hyuk and Ye-Won walked towards the meeting place, he constantly tugged at the new, stiff clothes as he could not simply get used to the stiffness and feeling of the fabric tightening around his neck.

“Ah! Stop doing that! I’ve aligned everything perfectly, you know!” (Ye-Won)

“Haaah. This is really uncomfortable.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He was only wearing a simple pair of jeans and a shirt, but the unfamiliar material and the fresh-outta-box stiffness caused the nearly unbearable level of discomfort to endlessly irritate him.

“What would change even if I look like this?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Why don’t you take a look at your reflection first and tell me?” (Ye-Won)

“Mm?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk took a look at himself in the reflection of a shop’s window next to him.

“Uh?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

This.... Didn’t he look unexpectedly handsome?

Yi Ji-Hyuk looked at himself this way and that for a while, before a grin formed on his face.

“I look cool, don’t I?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Well, you do look like a human being now. A normal human being, at least.” (Ye-Won)

The harshness hiding at the core of her uncaring voice stabbed painfully into his heart.

“Oh.... Is that right.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Well, I guess being a normal human is better than before.

I got called a cruel devil, an abominable monster, and even a beast back in Berafe, so I should be happy with a label of a “normal human being”, at least.

However, why are there these wet things coming out of my eyes? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“It’s over there.” (Ye-Won)

While taking in the cafe Ye-Won was pointing at, Yi Ji-Hyuk spat out yet another long groan.

He really didn’t feel like to doing this.

*

When they stepped into the cafe, Ye-Won’s friends had arrived already were waiting for the siblings’ arrival. The pair of high school girls politely greeted Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“Hello there~.”

“Ng, nice to meet you.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Since Ye-Won had earnestly begged him, he decided to behave as cordially as possible.

What a lucky bunch of kids these girls happened to be.

The person he met that possessed the highest social standing so far was Seo Ah-Young, but even she had failed to receive such consideration from him. Yet, for these ‘still wet behind the ears’ kids to be treated so nicely....

“What are you thinking about?” (Ye-Won)

“Mm? Nothing much, really.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Aren’t you going to ask us what we’d like to drink?” (Ye-Won)

“Oh, really? You were planning on ordering a drink?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“We’re in a cafe, so isn’t that obvious?” (Ye-Won)

What do you want from me, ahh?!

I came out here to prove where I work, not to meet prospective future brides, you know!!

Just what else do you want from me now?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“We’ll take Americanos, please.”

The cute girl with shortish bob-cut hair spoke to Yi Ji-Hyuk while a slightly infatuated smile on her face.

“Oh, really?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes.”

“In that case....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

When Yi Ji-Hyuk looked around to find a waiter, Ye-Won leaned closer and whispered in his ear with a voice packed to the brim with undisguised killing intent.

“Go and order the drinks, then bring the buzzer here. If you keep wasting time like this, I’m gonna murder you while you sleep. Three Americanos and any drink you want, oppa. Got that?” (Ye-Won)

“....Sure.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

After Yi Ji-Hyuk vacated his seat and headed off to the counter, Ye-Won’s friends got closer to her and began to whisper in clear excitement.

“Hey, your oppa’s really cute!”

“...He’s what?” (Ye-Won)

“What’s the matter? He is cute, you know....”

Yi Ye-Won looked at that girl with a pitying expression.

Would you still be able to mouth the word ‘cute’ after finding out what his real personality is like?

Even if every single living person on this planet looks cute to you, there is no freaking way that this guy would be included! Never! (Ye-Won’s inner monologue)

Ye-Won shifted her glance and saw her brother looking at the overhead menu with a dazed expression while getting ready for a throwdown of some kind with the hapless employee behind the order counter.

Wait, wait! Don’t tell me, he’s not gonna start one of his tantrums here, is he?!

Since he was exactly the type to cause trouble out of the blue, Ye-Won resolved herself and tried to get up, but then, as if he had come to a last minute agreement with the employee, Yi Ji-Hyuk began shaking the hands with him in a rather extravagant manner.

Aigoo, my head.

That’s why I didn’t want to come here with him. (Ye-Won’s monologue)

But, there was naught she could do now, as this was the grave she had dug for herself.

She told him to bring the buzzer back to the table and wait for the orders here, yet he stood by the counter and only returned to his seat while carrying the tray full of their drinks.

“Thank you~.”

“Thank you for the drinks!”

“Sure thing.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk nodded his head disinterestedly and began sucking in his frappe through a straw.

“Oppa?” (TL note at the end)

“Yeah?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Oppa, you really work for the NDF?”

“Yup.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Wow, really? What do you do there?”

....Well, uh, I keep a dog there, and....

I then torment the buffoons working there, too.

....Huh. Maybe I shouldn’t be too honest here. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Oh, nothing much. Just some paperwork here and there.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“There are paperwork in a place like NDF?”

This kid, saying something that will make Choi Jung-Hoon shed tears of blood so casually.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“I also participate in the operations too, every now and then.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I heard that the ability users working for the NDF are the best in the country! That means you get a huge salary, right?”

“Nah, it’s not that great. Just a pittance.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Wow, how humble.”

....Humble? My foot’s more like it, kid.

It really is a pittance, little girl.

Looks like she’s not aware of how cruel reality can be. The salaries of all government employees are like that, you know.

By the way, why are your eyes sparkling like that ever since we met?

Do I look like someone you can leech off from? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Oppa, is it okay if you give us your phone number?”

“Why?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I mean, you work for the NDF, so you must be super strong and everything. If we encounter something dangerous, maybe.... We could give you a call, you know?”

“Well, uh, I’m not....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Right at that moment, a precise knifehand strike landed powerfully in his side.

“Keuk.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Uh? Oppa? Is there something wrong?”

“....Nah, don’t worry about it.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk glared at Ye-Won, but she pretended that nothing was amiss.

What a scary and crafty little girl she was.

Even if the others were nothing more than a couple of high school students, how could she land such a fearsome blow without anyone noticing it?

Indeed, the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree – catching a whiff of mom’s aura in Ye-Won’s strike just now, Yi Ji-Hyuk couldn’t help but frown deeply.

“Mm. Here.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Without any motivation whatsoever, Yi Ji-Hyuk saved his number on the girl’s phone and handed it back to her. She smiled happily while receiving it.

“I’ll send you a private chat later.”

“I might not answer, though....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah, it’s fine. Ehehe.”

Yi Ji-Hyuk too smiled awkwardly.

Still, aren’t I more popular than I thought?

More importantly, isn’t this girl more or less a sane minded, normal person?

Now that I got to chat to a normal, sane-minded female, something inside me kinda feels a bit itchy, doesn’t it? But I do feel nic....

“Oppa.” (Kim Dah-Som)

....Nope, not anymore.

You scary stalker!! How did you even find out about this place?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk could not help but spot Kim Dah-Som approaching the table while her golden hair swayed gently this way and that to a non-existent breeze.

“Uh, Dah-Som-ah?”

“You came, too?”

Ye-Won tilted her head slightly.

“What are you doing here?” (Ye-Won)

“....Wait a minute. You guys go to the same school?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

When Yi Ji-Hyuk asked Ye-Won while he inwardly shivered, she replied with a ‘it’s nothing to fret over’ attitude.

“Yeah, for some reason. She also transferred to the same school as me on the same day. Anyways, why are you here?” (Ye-Won)

“I came to show off my oppa, too.” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Your oppa?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

This time, it was Yi Ji-Hyuk’s turn to tilt his head slightly.

If it was that blondie’s oppa, then that could only mean....

Indeed, just as Yi Ji-Hyuk was thinking of a certain ability user, he pushed the door open and entered the cafe.

He who possessed a noseline as sharp and well defined as a finely-honed blade, short but gently swaying blonde hair, and unrealistically long and slick legs that seemed as if someone took a photograph of them and stretched the resulting images.

“Hyung-nim!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Seeing the brightly-smiling Kim Dah-Hyun enter the cafe, Yi Ji-Hyuk could only smile in bitterness.

When he turned around to confirm his fears, he indeed spotted Ye-Won’s friends with hearts replacing their eyes as well as Kim Dah-Som standing to the side with an unreadable smile on her face.

Ha, hahaha....

What an exquisite timing.

No, kid, wait a sec....

Why are you erasing the phone number you just got like a minute ago?

I’m still right in front of you!!

Is my number dirtying your phone or something?

Haaaah.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“What a dirty world this is, where only the handsome b*stards are treated nicely.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Go get destroyed or something for all I care, you rotten world. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk halfway buried his body in the chair before turning his head around to look at Kim Dah-Hyun.

“Hey.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yes, hyung-nim!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Ram your head on the table.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“.............”

It seemed that Kim Dah-Hyun’s ordeal was just beginning.

< 86. A dirty world where only the handsome b*stards are treated nicely -1 > Fin.

(TL: This “oppa” isn’t from Ye-Won, but from one of her so-called friends. The term “oppa” can be used as a term of endearment by females to address older males who are not family, as long as the age gap between them isn’t that wide.)

(TL: Remaining amount till the next sponsored chapter: $25)