The Rise Of Calamity

Chapter 168 - Day 1 II

"So you awakened at the age of 5?" June Repeated.

"Yeah"

"So a natural awakening?" She became even more jittery

"Yep" I replied with a sigh

"Wow... A natural awakening huh... The last person to have a Natural awakening is now an Imperial Sage" She commented

"Really? I thought it would be more common" I sarcastically retorted

"Well, Natural awakenings are very common. Most people who cannot afford a priest to awaken their children have natural awakenings. While natural awakenings are fine, they usually happen when the child reaches 9-12 years of age. At the same time, there might be a few complications when they do awaken, therefore limiting their potential significantly. That is why most people become warriors instead of mages because, in reality, mages are basically limited to nobility, and at that, it is still a small portion that can actually become significant figures in the world." June explained

"So what about the Imperial sage?" I raised a brow behind the mask.

"Oh, well, apparently he was a commoner before a rouge mage had found him. The rogue mage decided to train him after realizing the kid had awakened naturally before the age of 6" She shrugged.

After that, we walked for about an hour after the sunset. We stayed vigilant of our surroundings the whole time in case a beast attacked...

Correction, June stayed vigilant of our surroundings the whole time. I on the other hand did not need to stay vigilant because I was naturally aware of my surroundings up to up to 10 meters, while I could feel any soul flame that enters a 300-meter range of me.

'Analysis...'

[Yes?] 

'Can you play some music for me...'

[...]

'...'

[...]

'Wha-?'

[DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN MUSIC BOX TO YOU!?]

'oh fuck my ears!'

[I'M SPEAKING INTO YOUR BRAIN, IDIOT!]

'I'm soooorrryyyyy' I pleaded

[...]

'Anyway, I know your not a music box and all, but are you able to play music into my mind?'

[...]

'Wha-?'

[I hate you...]

'Don't worry, I hate me too! :)'

[...]

'So can you do it?'

[What song do you want?]

I suddenly touched my chin. Back in my last life, I and the team I played games were all music enthusiasts, the same way we were all anime and novel enthusiasts. 

'I have so many choices...'

[CHOOSE GODDAMNIT!]

Closing my eyes, I started to think.

There was a song that I would listen to every time I had a bad day. It was something like a religious routine that I would not skip out on no matter what. While I had only started to listen to it 3 years before I died, I still felt like it has a huge amount of sentimental value to me, and right now, I hadn't listened to the song for more than 8 years. 

"Let us camp here" A cute voice finally snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Oh? Sure" I looked at the ground I was standing on and had realized it was probably the best place to camp out. 

"Should I guard first or should you?" June asked, but clearly, she only wanted one answer.

"First off, puppy eyes don't work on me. Secondly, none of us have to stay out. I have a spell that will wake me up the moment something dangerous comes within 300 meters of us. At the same time, it will warn me of any malicious intent an animal might have which will also wake me up" I replied nonchalantly.

"REALLY!" I could taste the joy in her voice

"Yes, really..." I sighed while shaking my head.

After an hour or so, we have both our tents up and we were both in our respective tents.

"Finally, some alone time" I sighed

[So, are you going to choose]

'Yeah. Play "Everyday normal guy 2"'

I could feel something seeping into my memories and eventually, the thing left my mind while clearly taking something with it.

Suddenly, the sound of the song entered my ears, allowing me to close them before placing my head onto a pillow.

After listening for a bit, I started to sing along in a low tone.

~"I saw these two fine bitches, they were walking my way"~

~"Yo, what you girls doing tonight?" is what I wanted to say"~

~"But suddenly I panicked, my voice started to shake"~

~"So I put my head down, and I just walked away"~

~"I had a bus to catch anyway, it worked out great"~

~"Got on the bus, put my headphones on, and pressed play"~

~"Sheryl Crow, James Blunt, and motherfucking Ace of Bass"~

~"Yo, what can I say? It's just a day in my life"~

~"I'm up early in the morning, in bed early at night"~

~"To be productive at work, I got to be well-rested"~

~"Yeah, motherfucker, you heard what I just said"~

....

I could feel the tears slowly leaving my eyes.

Wasn't this song supposed to make me feel better? Wasn't this song my comforting song? 

My shoulders started to shudder while low sniffs left my nose as I turned on the futon that I was sleeping on.

'ugh'

I grasped onto my chest tightly the same way I felt my heart being squeezed after every second the song would go on. Images of my last life and this life kept flashing in my mind. After every single image, my heart would feel like it was about to explode. The pain was too much.1

After a certain point, I had started to gasp for air as my airwaves and lungs felt as if they had just quadrupled in weight and halved in size.

"It's okay... Calm down. Everything will be fine" A melodic voice entered my ears, sending a soothing feeling through my body, yet the pain was still there.

"It is okay my child. This pain is a part of life, and therefore you should not reject it... It is the thing that keeps you human and stops you from becoming a monster, so accept it and don't reject it.~" The voice was gentle, soothing, and kind. Yet, it had a very familiar feeling to it. While I would have loved to believe it was the voice of my first mother, there were significant differences between their voices.

However, right now I could not think about any of that as I felt the pain in my heart subside while my consciousness drifted into darkness, a darkness so deep and infinite that it made me feel like a grain of sand in the Sahara desert.

Yet, when I looked into the distance I could see a small speck of light that shone within the darkness. It was purple, tiny yet beautiful. Although it was extremely small, that single speck of purple light illuminated the entire plane of existence with its radiance.

I feel like not many will understand what is happening right now so I am going to explain it so I don't get shouted at later.

The mc used to use this song to feel like everything in his life was normal even though he was constantly going through so much pain, every single day. He wanted to believe that was a "Regular everyday normal" guy that had everything in his life under control, but that simply was not the case..

The reason the mc is in pain right now is that he knows his life is crap, and now that he is listening to the song, it is creating an opposite effect, therefore, inducing a painful anxiety/panic attack while triggering flashbacks (Almost like PTSD flashbacks) to the worst parts of his life.