The Traps of Black Swan

Chapter 148 - Old Scars

[WARNING: It's not depressing but a sad chapter ahead. Read at your own risk.]

Aarvi had curled up against Aaron in the swing tired of crying due to the reopening of every wound created by her parents. She started hiccuping but the silent tears still flew out. 

He hadn't and didn't dare to leave her the entire time, he silently heard her painful words, felt the scars that she had buried deep inside her. 

He felt himself tremble, heart tug uncontrollably just by hearing her, he couldn't imagine the pain she went through and the agony she was in by reminiscing the past most hurtful period of her life. He didn't want to think of counting how many times she had cried alone, how many times she was left alone yet how she stood back and smiled hiding everything behind it, burying the deepest scars in her heart. 

He wished she should have forgotten all these instead of him. 

He noticed one thing, she went missing right after he left the country. She was lost, she was confused after it. He strongly felt she lost her memory of his as soon as he left, 'does that mean she was caught by the people who wanted to kill me?' He didn't have a response but he weirdly felt he is the reason behind her memory loss.

However, he didn't want to remind her anything anymore, looking at her struggling to even breathe. 

He knew he gave her pain too by giving her hope of happiness being in her life for two years and disappeared without a word sending her back to the world of heartless cruel people.

Why wasn't she allowed to be happy?

Why does she have a struggle for every little happiness?

Why is her life full of struggle to live through it?

Why does she have to endure everything alone?

He wanted to see her face, assure her that nothing will go wrong again but she didn't let him see her. 

'Nothing will go wrong? Everything is going to be alright?' he wanted to prove it instead of saying words like her grandfather who stood helpless when she endured everything alone.

Small or big, he wanted to shield her from all the problems. If not, face it with her and be with her.

Even he wanted to know what was her mistake, taking birth? Isn't that her parents' negligence? Enduring silently for so long? If she had rebelled back, would she be living a better life?

Then what was her mistake? Living? Being alive? For winning on her life-threatening situation every time?

She wasn't only abused mentally by cursing her to die, she was physically tortured too, probably that was the reason she never dared to rebel, or was she too soft-hearted? 

He knew well, his little Cupcake would choose to cry herself and endure the pain instead of seeing somebody having a problem. Probably she didn't want her parents to be sad and chose herself to bear everything hoping one day, they would stop and notice her.

Yeah, that's her mistake. She wanted her parents' happiness over hers and they snatched her happiness filling her life with agony and heart-wrenching experience.

'How could any parents be so stone-hearted to their own biological daughter who expected nothing but just a word, a smile, or a pat?' 

'Are they too much to ask for?'

When everyone's childhood is filled with happiness, parents' love, care, good memories, why does she have only pain? Even the word pain wouldn't measure how much she suffered.

He knew she was never taught of many things, she read in books, looked at others, and learned. When all teenage girls read books of first love, love between the couple, he had seen her reading books on mother's love or parents' love.

When every girl dreamed of prince charming owning a castle riding a white horse, her dream was just her parents' love and care, just the tiniest fraction.

Perhaps he should have brought her book that had a cruel mother and the girl who rebelled back. However, his Cupcake was too innocent to read such books. She might have cried for the little girl in it and tried to think about what made the mother so unhappy.

Doesn't he know her better? 

He knew well, his Cupcake always tried to find a reason for bad behavior. If any of her classmates chided her with hateful words, 'She couldn't score well so it's natural to dislike me.' 'She feels herself bad looking so she thinks I am ugly.' 'She might have had a bad day, she will be fine.'

Whenever he used to hear her justifying others' wrongdoings with a smile on her little face innocently looking at him, all he would feel was helplessness, 'How the hell did this selfless creature is still alive?' He used to think himself rub her head to earn a pleasing smile.

Making his Cupcake feel happy and touched is and was always easy. Hear her words, correct her if wrong, speak to her, that would make her day, and happily run around him.

Even though she needed the love and attention of her parents, she never demanded anything. When he gave her little attention just by a wave of his hand in the crowd or a simple smile when their eyes used to meet, she would be happiest in the world.

That's Ava Kelly, a simple, caring yet a strong-willed girl who endured everything with a smile.

Aaron again tried to scoop her to his arms from the swing bed and she let him do this time. He embraced her, resting her head on his chest, and planted a gentle kiss on her head.

She was Cinderella in her own life without step relationships. When her birth unexpectedly brought her to the world, she found herself at the mercy of her cruel mother and father. Never one to give up hope, she waited for the fortune which didn't come. When she created one for herself, her deathbed became a fortune that changed her whole life.

She might have deep scars, endless agony of the past but she was stronger, confident, stubborn to stand back and make her life better.

He doubted if she was going to avenge her parents because she might feign ignorance but she can't hurt them.

Was he going to let them off? Apparently yes, he didn't want to hurt Aarvi but it's a NO if they dared to mess with her again. Probably even she wouldn't let them hurt her again. They have lost the right over her.

In the past, she hid to avoid people knowing about her family or laugh at her, now she hid to hide her scars, to hide her vulnerable side.

He didn't know whether he should be happy by knowing she let him see her unprotected, helpless side or chide himself for scratching the old scars that again turned to new wounds making her weak even if it's for that movement.

Seeing her exhausted and drowsy, he thought to take her inside, wipe her face, and help her drink water. He didn't want to wake her up after she fell asleep. 

"Shall we go inside?" His tone softer, hiding the pain away from it. 

'Inside? Room?' Her hands trembled remembering herself locked in the bedroom of hers continuously for days. She curled herself unwilling to go inside four walls.

'A little girl silently sitting holding a lifeless doll without knowing what to do with it, Clueless and dependent.' Her eyes stung severely but there were no tears left to flow out.

If one feels secure with a roof and four walls around, it was a dark trap and torture for her especially when everything became fresh in her mind.

Aaron quickly sensed her reluctance and tightened his arms around her, "It's good over here, we will rest in the swing." She didn't respond for a few seconds so he gently probed again looking at her sniffling, "Okay?"

Silence enveloped them. He again waited without knowing what she was thinking but he didn't ask. He wanted to be there and wait however long she takes to overcome everything and become calms.

If she needed him to hear her, he was ready to listen. If she needed him to talk, he would speak until her heart contents. If she just needed his presence, he would accompany her to the end of the world. 

Nobody could stop him from being there for her, not even her.

After a minute or two, she gave a faint nod clutching his nightshirt having no strength to utter a word and the dry throat didn't let the word out.

'Room!!' He realized why she would sleep outside more easily than in her bedroom. However strong she grew, he knew it was very difficult to erase what she went through when she was a child. 

Will he be able to replace all ugly old scars with new memories? He didn't know, but he will try his best to lighten the scars and ease the pain if she remembers them again.