The Traps of Black Swan

Chapter 322 - Emotionally Numb

'Three years back.'

'March'

'The abandoned warehouse near the forest at Mocon west'

Aeon felt his stomach twist and turn remembering that night. His hands trembled, breath caught in his throat, and his heart tugged uncontrollably. He had no idea the color had drained from his face and Aarvi's eyes were fixed on him.

His heart slammed against his chest and his head throbbed. He had tortuous nights for a few days after it, remembering just to make him loathe himself a little more.

Feeling the cold piercing gaze, he forced himself to compose and look unperturbed.

Aarvi's face had turned a lot darker. After going through so much, she knew she should never expect a stranger to help her at that time, but she couldn't stop herself thinking every Harmon is a scum.

"I don't know what you are talking about. President Evans, I need to get ready, so please." His hand pointed to the door for her asking her to leave.

Aarvi took a step front and slapped him without a second thought. She hated to get physical that stings her back but it was important to wake him up from his painful thoughts.

She could clearly see him having trouble breathing just by remembering that day. She knew he had no hand behind her fate but that wasn't the way to get stronger. 

Aeon was whose eyes were on the door stunned and looked at her. She hadn't used much stretch but it was still painful. For some reason, he didn't get angry at her. 

Looking at her serene face glaring at him in the eyes, he felt like he jolted up. He failed to understand why he felt that way, it was like he was desperately forcing him to be asleep and she ended his torturous sleep. It was a weird feeling.

Aarvi was flexing her fingers to give another one seeing him unblinkingly stare at her but he finally spoke. "I went there to suicide." He said plainly, for some reason he didn't feel the pain anymore, he felt his heart relax instead of numb.

Aarvi had no emotions. 'Suicide' that word didn't have the ability to give her shock. Instead, she stayed calm and tacitly pushed him to speak everything.

"I was drunk, I drove the car where I saw the road. I wanted to get away from the city and end my agony. That's how I reached the warehouse." Aeon briefed her as his stiffened body relaxed and became more comfortable to talk about it.

He had never told this to anybody, he wanted to tell anybody that he got a thought of suicide. He didn't even know how he became comfortable to tell that Aarvi who actually slapped him.

He took a deep breath and continued, "Looking at the small light lit inside the dark place and piercing laughter of men, I entered inside thinking there will be some thugs."

Aarvi faintly nodded when he blinked looking at her face trying to search for her ridicule. 

Why will she mock him?

One needs to have the guts to suicide, it wasn't as easy as it looked or said. But one needs to have too much courage and resolution to step back when all they all wanted was death because living is painful than death.

She should be proud he was able to live after it.

Aeon neither earned a pity nor a sneer. A self-mocking chuckle let out of his lips, he wanted to hate the woman in front of him for making him feel his heart light and free without judging him. 

People always judged him, how much ever he might become good, one or the other one would say, 'He is Harmon.' No, he just wanted to be known as Aeon for what he does.

But the woman in front of him made him feel 'Harmon' doesn't matter but it's just a second name.

Aarvi raised her brow at him seeing him look at her like she saved him from hell. He should be shouting at her for slapping while speaking about the past. His behavior made her feel she cajoled him.

'Sweet-talk' She felt her hair rise even to think of being sweet with Aeon. It was only reserved for her stupid man, lovely brother, and crazy friends.

Aeon continued before she lost patience and struck another cheek, "But as I went inside, there was pin-drop silence." He wanted to provoke those things to beat him. Physical torture to erase the pain inside.

"I looked around and soon sensed the stench of blood, mixed with rustic Iron, my stomach lurched terribly. I saw a girl in a pool of blood, barely holding on to her life. I froze..."

Aarvi held the breath unknowingly as she remembered the past.

[She saw him looking at her, her vision wasn't clear due to tears and blood but she had identified Aeon Harmon. 

Aeon Harmon who was a frequent customer of Highland bars had seen him drinking senseless and even pass out many times. So a glimpse was enough for her to recognize him.

But lying on her floor on her stomach, she had no strength to move her fingers or make a sound. She had given up her life but he brought hope when he was staring at her in a bloody mess.

But he didn't help her and walked away with Leon Harmon.]

Aarvi's heart became colder, 'Why did he have to give me hope? Even after having no strength lying on the ground, she had cried again looking at his retreating back.

Aeon noticed the air around them turn colder but he didn't stop there. He wanted her to mock him, feel disgusted so that she doesn't take any special place in his heart.

"I don't know if it was faint light or my drunken state. I was seeing my Amiah." Aeon looked at his hands as he said, "I had buried her with my own hands, how could she be lying in front of him. I refused her to be alive."

Aarvi let out the held breath. He saw her but his heart and mind were filled with Amiah so much that he saw dead Amiah in her and assumed it as an illusion. 

An unthinking thought back in her mind knew Aeon would have probably saved her if he wasn't bearing his own heart-wrenching pain.

"I kept staring at her hoping my deduction would turn false. I waited for her to call my name or ask me to save her. I just wanted to hear her voice to confirm I wasn't imagining." 

In the end, Aarvi could hardly make out his words. She was guessing he might get to know later so she patiently waited for him to continue as he composed.

Aeon clenched his fist thinking he should have just gone to the girl who was lying there even if he saw her as Amiah, probably whoever she was must have been saved.

He composed and looked away from Aarvi as he continued, "But the voice never came out." Even if he looked at the girl and imagined her as Amiah, he was so numb for many days that he didn't even have tears to cry or utter anything to her to console.