The Tyrant's Pet

Chapter 405 Your Feelings Don't Have A Say

[ SAPPHIRE PALACE ]

Aries was lying on her tummy, using her arms as a head cushion. She opened her eyes ever so slowly. As soon as she did, a pair of silver eyes met hers. She blinked multiple times until Joaquin's face grew clearer.

Joaquin was squatting beside the bed, his chin on the edge of the mattress, eyes on her face. He didn't break the silence even when he locked eyes with her, but instead kept staring at her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice rasped and soft.

"Looking." His tone was low and calm, raising his chin, only to rest them over his arm. "Wondering."

"About?" she inquired in the same weak tone.

"You."

"What about me?"

This time, Joaquin didn't answer. What about her? He also wondered what was there in her that he so wanted.

"Do you love me?" another calm query slipped past her chapped lips, eyes holding his.

"Mhm. Of course." He returned without a shred of hesitation. "Very much."

"Why?"

"I wonder too…" he whispered, fluttering his eyelashes ever so tenderly.

"Do you feel bad for the ones on my back?"

He went silent for a moment. "No. You deserved it."

"You don't love me."

"Because I hurt you?"

"No," Aries observed his charming face. Right this second, Joaquin was strangely calm, and he looked… harmless. Perhaps it was because he was winning, and hence, he was calmer than he was supposed to be. Or… it could be one of those days where he would feel lost and confused at his own existence.

"Tell me, my love," Joaquin breathed out, stretching his arm to caress her cheek with his fingertips. "Why are you certain I don't love you, just as I claimed? If the reason is not that I am hurting you, then what?"

"Because… you don't get hurt while hurting me." Her voice came at a level above a whisper, but it was firm. "If what's happening to me doesn't give you the slightest angst, then how can you claim you love me?"

Silence fell in the chambers after the last syllables of her sentence slipped past her lips. They only stared at each other, but unlike the anger and ridicule they bore prior to this encounter, mixed emotions filled their soft eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he whispered after a moment of silence, touching the corner of her eyes gently. "I don't need such pity from you. The throne… the empire is about to kneel before me. And you still belong to me. There's nothing to pity about me, my love."

The side of his lips curled up weakly, the complete opposite of what he would usually show. "This is the game I was born to play, my Aries. And I've won."

"I belong to no one." Aries pressed her lips, betrayed by her own eyes, as a tear rolled across the bridge of her nose. "And it is not winning when you sacrificed more than you gained. The innocent lives you had sacrificed and disregarded and the recognition you gained after a mass slaughter… is not a game you should win."

"You had all the qualities to rule properly, but you chose the other path. You've won nothing," she added, admitting that Joaquin was smart and capable enough to have the title of the crown prince. Not that she was saying this path he chose was wrong or bad — all paths were bloody. But this path was definitely tragic.

"But I was born years late," he answered bitterly, letting his point across with that simple, vague sentence. If he was born years early — before Manuel — Joaquin wouldn't have to fight for his father's attention and people's recognition. They would give that to him even if he wouldn't ask for it, and perhaps, the empire, the emperor, and everyone wouldn't have to live in fear.

"You should understand me, Aries. You were born a woman, but you are more capable than your brother," he continued, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Yet, they had announced him the crown prince because of his birthright. You challenged him and succeeded in snatching the title. We're the same."

"We're not."

"We are," he stressed airily. "I killed Manuel to get where I am today, while you… killed your people and your family by letting them fight for you. Blood spilled and lives were taken, and for as long as you live, you will have to keep the title of the crown princess of the kingdom of Rikhill. I don't see any difference in our situation."

"We carry thousands of lives we took, and we both shamelessly breathe and desperately struggle to survive," Joaquin added. "So tell me, what makes you different from me?"

Aries swallowed, hearing her own gulp in her ears. "Did you… attack Rikhill just to make us the same?" Her heart sank when he remained silent.

How pathetic. 

To do a mass slaughter just because he wanted someone to understand him, and be just like him, one way or another. There was no greater insult to know such a pathetic truth from his madness. If Joaquin said it was because the land of Rikhill was riched with natural resources, she would probably understand.

But to ruin a peaceful land just because he was desperate for someone to feel how to be in his shoes? Or just to prove he was right? What an insult.

"Don't cry." His lips curled up subtly, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "You'll forget about them soon. All you need to do is love me with all your heart, and I will give you everything in this world. I'll be kind."

"Bring them all back to life and I will love you with all my heart." His finger halted at her request, watching more tears roll across her nose. "Otherwise, you can take everything from me and force anything into me. But your love… will never get in my way of wanting you to rot, and your feelings can't have a say."

Joaquin remained silent for a moment, already used to her calm and hysterical defiance. "Very well, my love. Rest well for tonight. Their execution is in two days, and I had prepared a spot where you can watch. You can bid them proper farewell this time. It'll be different this time. I promise, my love."

He moved up, planting a kiss on her temple. His lips curled up against her and deepened his kiss to make her feel his sincerity. He ruffled her head gently as if he was simply putting a child to sleep. She didn't retaliate, watching him draw his head back with a smile.

"Good night." He pinched her cheek mildly and idled for a moment before leaving the room.

Aries kept her eyes open, hearing the faint sound of chains right after he shut the door closed. Another tear rolled across her nose before she buried her face in her arms. They weren't the tears of anger, but sadness. Not for Joaquin, nor for herself, but for the sadness she felt from this obsession he believed as love.

Perhaps… she was wrong from the beginning and Joaquin was right.

This was probably love because only love could hurt like this. His love was painful and tragic, and she wished she had never gotten it.