The Werewolf King's Bride

Chapter 217: Worried About Leaving

(From Blue's Perspective)

"So, you talked to Luc and had tea and lunch with Evelyn?"

"Yes," I nodded. "Why are you inspecting me like that? It's not like I am doing something I am not supposed to do. And moreover, both places are inside the palace ground."

I was sitting on Dem's lap who was sitting in his chair in his study. I came straight to him after coming back from the side palace. It was not like he called for me, rather I wanted to meet him. I wanted to say a quick hi and then go back to my room. But I did not know he would make me sit on his lap.

"I know...," he murmured, rubbing his smooth cheek against my back. "I am just..."

"Worried? About what? I told you I am not leaving you..."

'It's not like I can either even if I try. It's not like I am planning to though...'

He did not say anything, only squeezed me tightly. How could I make him believe me? I had tried everything I could, yet he was always worried about me leaving him.

"Dem, why? Why are you suddenly being like this? Did I do something to make you feel this way? If

I did, then why don't you tell me? I won't do something that will make you feel this way, because it hurts me every time you are like this," I said.

"No, you did not do anything... It's just... I am always scared that you will leave me one day. I don't know why... I can't blame you for anything at all. You are doing everything thinking about me.

You don't get close to any men much. Well, you are close with Luc but you two are more like siblings. And I actually don't mind it as well. It's just Luc after all though I am still a bit jealous sometimes... You don't want to go outside the palace ground as well just like I said. You are not doing anything wrong...

It's me... It's just my sick mind!"

He hugged me even more tightly and his breathing was deep. It was like he was in pain. "Dem... Don't... don't push yourself like this... I am not leaving, so don't think about these kinds of things..."

"I can't help it!" he yelled and I flinched. "I am sorry... I didn't mean to..."

"... I am sorry..."

"Why?"

"I don't know... I will go back to my room..."

He did not stop me when I stood up, but held my hand when I tried to take a step. "It's me who should apologize, not you," he said gently. "I don't want you to say sorry for no reason. You should get mad at me for behaving like that. I won't blame you for that. Just don't...

put yourself down..."

"Y-Yes..."

It was always like this. I had accustomed to saying sorry even when it was not my fault in my family. I always had to take the blame. Even now, I could not give this habit up completely. Dem had become angry at me because of that once before as well. Thankfully, this time, he did not yell again.

"Blue, look at me," he said.

I turned back and looked into his pitch-black eyes. They were gentle and filled with a strange look which was very hard to understand.

"Come here."

He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arm around my waist. His breath fell right onto my chest because of how close we were.

"I am not a good person and I don't think I can ever be even if I try. It's just... I have accustomed to be me even though it's not normal to be like this. Actually, being abnormal me has become normal for me. I think in a strange way as well. I don't think it's strange.

I mean, to me, it's normal. But every other person thinks differently than me. So, it's not hard to understand that I am the abnormal one. I have always known this. But I have never thought of changing myself. I was better the way I was.

Then you came along. For you, I was ready to change myself. I have been trying to change myself, I still am. But..."

He looked desperate. It was like he was trying to make me understand something, but could not.

"It's alright," I said, pressing my index finger on his lips. "You don't have to say anymore. I understand..."

"You don't! You are just trying to calm me down!"

"I am not... I understand... It's not that... hard... I know what you mean, so don't push yourself. I love you and I won't leave you, so you can relax.

You don't have to worry for no reason..."

We were interrupted by the beta. Dem knew the beta was waiting in front of the door, but he told him with his mind not to enter. When I heard a boot noise, I asked him if someone was there. That was the time he told me that the beta was waiting. I could not believe he made the beta wait just because we were talking. We stayed in the same room, so we could talk later anyway.

Dem just always prioritized me over every single thing.

"What's wrong, your Highness?" Ruby asked.

"It's nothing. I'm just a bit worried," I replied.

"May I ask about what? I hope it's not too much. I just don't want your Highness to worry too much," she said.

"... How would you feel if someone loved you way too much? You love that person as well, but that person is constantly worried about you leaving and the situation is quite extreme...- how would you feel about it?"

"Actually, Your Highness, I am into this kind of stuff. I mean, I always wanted someone to love me more than anyone and anything else. I don't know if it's me being weird, but I always wanted this..."

"So, what you mean is you always wanted someone to go obsessed with you?" I asked, surprised. It was true that I also wanted someone to love me and care for me. But I never wanted to be someone to be obsessed with. It was partly because I could give that much love to someone no matter how much I tried. It was just too much.

"Not necessarily obsessed, but well, I just wanted someone to love me too much," she mumbled.

"It's not something I can get right now, of course. But I always wanted this... It just will always be my fantasy."

'So, people want this kind of thing as well... I am surprised... I thought everyone would want to avoid to be obsessed with. Am I feeling like this because I never thought of this, yet I got someone who was obsessed with me? There is no denying that Dem loved me a lot. When it comes to me, his love is pure.

But the way he expresses it is sometimes kind of twisted and scary. I don't know if I ever will get used to this, but I'm trying. It's a bit hard to accept these kinds of things. This kind of unconditional love- it's all new for me.'

Talking to Ruby did not help much. I thought she would be able to say something about it, but her thoughts were strange.

"Your Highness, you better take a bath since you could not before. Shall I prepare the bath then?"

"Hm, okay..."

"And Your Highness... I have something to say to you," Ruby said.

"What is it?" I asked. Her voice made me wonder if something was wrong.

"Actually..."

"Yes?"

"I am planning to accept Lord Luc's proposal," she blurted out. "I have been thinking about this for a while and I think I should not make him wait anymore. And besides, I actually want to get married even if it's not out of love. Just like Your Highness said, perhaps he will one day fall in love with me."

"So, you have not told him yet?"

"No, I wanted Your Highness to know first. Your Highness has been helping me the most. The things Your Highness told me that day was all true, so I thought that perhaps I should give it a go."

"That's right. I think it's better to try than not trying at all. After all, there is a chance that he will fall in love with you someday," I said. "Don't worry too much, Ruby. I am always with you no matter what you choose. And Luc is a great person.

He will be the best husband."

I knew Ruby was going to accept his proposal someday. I was glad that she accepted this very quickly. After all, it was going to be a great thing if Luc and she got married.