This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

Chapter 85 79: Do Ghosts Do Handstands?

?"Hey, old man! Get off that cart now!"

"This is a robbery! Kehehe!"

In the middle of a forest road, an old man in his cart was stopped by two thugs from the mountain. With knives in his arms, the bulky thug walked over to the old man and licked his blade, sticking his face closer to the poor merchant.

"Now, old man, what's in those boxes?"

"P-please let me go!" the old man trembled and rubbed his hands together. "I am just a small merchant!"

"Kahaah!" the bandit screamed. Then hand over your fucking money and this cart now, small merchant! Give us everything you have!"

The old man, trembling in his feet, stepped down and lowered his head. "Please, don't do this!"

"Shut up bastard!" The thug pushed the old man away as his skinny friend rushed over to check out their new ride.

They got on the cart and flipped it off, making the horse rush ahead. The old man watched as they got a fair distance away and then.

"[Thunder Strike]!"

A whole fucking bolt of thunder came gushing down the skies and crashed into the bandits. A small explosion rang out in just the head of the cart as the two thugs were launched into the air and slammed down to the ground.

The old man hopped over to the bandits who were looking at him with betrayal and exasperation.

"KAHAHAHA! I just love seeing you youngins make that face!! HAHAHA!"

***

I was passing through a forest leading to the northeast of the country. It had been two days since I ran away from Apollon.

The tree's leaves fluttering in the wind under the rich blue skies, the sound of the cicadas and birds in the early morning, the sight of two dead burnt corpses on the road... ah, this was life.

In the northeast of the Schwarz kingdom, above the meeting point with the empire, existed one of the seven great labyrinths of the continent. The place was an autonomous zone created by both all the surrounding nations and the adventurers guild.

Unlike a few other great labyrinths, the Deep Down Dive gradually grew tougher with its end not even close to sight after seven hundred years of exploration. It was a place that was being kept in check by the adventurers and also served as a great way to boost the economies of all the countries involved. It was largely accepting and free, the Deep Down Town was a haven for adventurers.

Naturally, there was no better place to register. Apparently, even Keith had registered at the same place Schwars' hero party.

I pulled out my map and sighed.

"Haah, It'll take another three weeks to reach with this pace."

Maybe I should stop walking while doing a handstand? If only I could move faster while going that way.

Just as I thought that, a cart entered my sight. An old man was taking the creaky cart down the road with his horse, only some boxed laden on the back. It was a place perfect for doing a handstand and walking around while the horses did the moving. I could even do handstand pushups over there.

Fixing my sight, I rushed ahead, forgetting to get down on my feet.

"Stop right there!" I said.

The old man driving the carriage turned around. He looked my way for a few seconds before breaking out in a scream.

"KYAA IT'S A GHOST!"

"What?! Did you just say I look like a ghost!?"

"T-thunder strike! Thunder strike!!"

I felt a surge of mana rising from the man's hands. At once, I flexed my muscles and pushed myself off the ground and into the air. I flipped seven times above the trees before landing back in a handstand.

A roaring sound echoed behind me as two strikes of thunder charred the ground I was on just moments ago.

My head creaked as I faced the culprit.

"Now you've done it old mannn!"

"AAHH! SOMEONE SAVE ME!! I'LL NEVER KILL AGAIN!"

The old man screamed something wild as he whipped his horse and rushed through the ground. I shouted back and started chasing after him, my hands taking long strides through the road.

The old man made me chase him and his horse downhill for a long time before I jumped up again and got on the back of his cart.

He noticed the weight and turned.

"EEEEEEKK!" he screamed.

I twisted my legs and kicked the old man's face, sending him down on the ground before taking the reins of the horse with my legs and bringing it to a stop.

He was a magician using intermediate attacks, so he would be too hurt, right? I thought that as I jumped off the cart and landed on the ground. I moved toward the old man with slow and steady hand-steps to check up on him.

The man started trembling as I came close.

"Fuck, old man, you ok?"

Before I could get an answer, the old man fainted.

Crap.

***

The old man's fingers twitched as he slowly became conscious again. Under the shade of the tree, he slowly moved and opened his eyes.

"AHH!"

"Dude it's annoying now. Why are you even screaming?"

"Ghost!"

I turned on my hands and looked around. "Where?"

"You!"

Tsk. This man was calling me a ghost after all!

I glared at the old man, looking up at him from the ground. "I am just doing a handstand to train my muscles."

"W-what...?"

"Forget that, where are you off too, old man?"

"W-wh-" The old man hesitated to answer, but when I stretched my legs he straightened up right away. "The Inva Duchy!"

"Not anymore."

"Yes?"

I smiled and moved toward the cart. His destination wasn't that far away.

"You're taking me to Deep Down Town."