To Live Again, For the First Time!

Chapter 63 - Path Pt III: (Accepting)

To be fair, the old lady was not completely at fault.

Emilin's words and actions were just too deceiving and misleading, even if it was not intentional.

Her photos were a mess and she had only just picked up the camera that very same day, yet she spoke as if she had been inseparable from her camera for a long time and that photography was her lifelong dream.

Emilin had clearly only started hours ago with absolutely no knowledge in the field.

She had ZERO professional knowledge. Never had she taken 1 lesson in her life, and it was very likely that she hadn't in her previous life either.

It was quite understandable that the old lady, who knew none of this, had misunderstood. After all, Emilin said that she was going to pursue this in college, yet her skills were this incredibly subpar.

This young girl, who looked like she had troubles expressing her emotions, had come here all alone this deep in the mountains to take some photos in order to pursue her passions, though she wasn't particularly skilled when she should really be in school.

This situation from an outsider's perspective was simply too prone to misunderstandings.

It would be a wonder if someone didn't misunderstand, it was just that the level of misunderstanding would depend on the person.

The old lady just let her imagination run wild to fill in the holes.

"Did you find your peace and quiet here?" The lady asked, handing the camera back to Emilin.

Emilin's eyes widened at the unexpected question.

She had noticed the minute reactions from the lady while she scrolled through the photos, at first, she still had her usual smile on her face, but at some point, her lips had twitched slightly before she had regained her composure. 

The reason was clear and Emilin was very self-aware.

Emilin had been expecting a greater reaction, but now, that was beside the point.

She had thought that the lady would talk about the actual photos she took, maybe even giving her some advice, but it seems like she had underestimated the wisdom that came with old age.

The lady's question had pulled on Emilin's heartstrings, just a little. She had indeed found some peace in these mountains.

'What gave me away?'

"Yes, I think I did," Emilin responded.

This time, her answer was a little more sincere. She felt like maybe this elderly lady could see through her, and being understood felt nice.

In truth, the old lady simply felt bad about talking about the photos with Emilin and so she didn't want to touch on this topic less she stepped on a land mine. Instead opting to ask about the other impending thought that was worrying her. 

Though they had ended up with the same conclusion, that Emilin had social troubles, the path to that answer was vastly different.

The old lady had thought that this young lass was having troubles in school and was most likely being bullied due to her poor academics and her pretty face, while the reality was something that the elder wouldn't be able to understand.

This was clear as even Emilin didn't really understand what was wrong with her.

"That's good. This place indeed has beautiful scenery, but even if it can calm the mind, it can not solve the root of any problem you may have." 

Once again, Emilin felt like this old lady could see right through her troubles. 

Because she couldn't truly confide in anyone with her troubles as she did not want to worry her family, who wouldn't be able to help her even if they knew, and she had no friends for very obvious reasons, she felt like talking to this elder was especially refreshing.

"Really? Then how do I solve my problem?" Emilin's voice held a hint of hopefulness, but at the same time, she didn't want to raise her expectations just to be let down, after all, this was a problem that had already plagued her for quite a while, her whole life, to be more specific.

'Young lass! Do I look like a mind reader?' The old lady almost wanted to huff, but seeing the young lass's expectant gaze, she did the best she could to not disappoint.

"Well I won't say practice makes perfect, but practice definitely makes better in most cases." She responded with just as much confidence as she had used in her previous statements. 

This was the calmness that she had cultivated throughout her years.

"Is that so." Emilin thought about this for a long time.

Seeing as the lass was lost in her thoughts, the old lady gave her some space to do her thinking.

Was this really something Emilin could fix simply with more practice?

When she thought back, it didn't seem like she had ever simply gone for it. When had she ever been able to build up the courage to start a conversation with anyone outside of her family?

Never.

Even if she had tried building up the courage on multiple occasions, so much so that it was nearly a daily occurrence, not once had she succeeded.

She had subconsciously left herself a path of retreat.

If she could blame it on the fact that she had 'never tried', then she wouldn't have to face the disappointment of failing.

Not trying was pretty much her definition of failure, especially with the experiences that she had gone through at the end of her past life.

'Gosh, how was I so blinded by fear?'

'It seems like I have been too narrowminded.'

'I'm here sitting in the bottom of the well, thinking that as long as I go out I'll be able to solve all my problems, but all the water I need is clearly already right next to me.'

'Convincing myself that it's poisonous water without drinking so that I won't have to confront the fear of the possibility that the water is truly poisonous. Leaving myself a way out, which I'll only resort to after reaching the verge of death due to dehydration. But in my case, I'll never reach that level. I'll just stay at the bottom of the well, forever thirsting for normal human interactions.'

'How absurd.'

'But I guess at least getting out of this well has opened my horizons. Hopefully, it will also teach me how to make better analogies.' Emilin truly wanted to laugh at herself, but she held that laughter in.

"Thank you," Emilin said.

It was somewhat out of the blue as silence had already been permeating the area for quite a few minutes, but when the old lady had realized that the young lass was thanking her for her simple advice, she smiled brighter.

It was a smile akin to that of a proud parent.

'I guess that young lass was able to get something out of this conversation after all. Maybe she isn't as. slow-witted as I thought her to be. But that's good.' She thought.

Previously, she had just seen this 'hard working' young lady in a good light due to her character, her eyes holding some pity, but now, the elder's eyes reflected some rare warmth. Despite Emilin's short responses, her words were doused with sincerity and no ulterior motives.

"Your very welcome, I'm happy to have been able to help. Young lass, how long do you plan on staying here?" The aged lady asked.

"Here?"

"In this mountain range." The elder clarified.

"I'm not sure yet." Emilin had already put a lot of thought into this issue and had decided to take a 'wait and see' approach

The mood suddenly became a little tenser as the elderly lady responded.

"Don't stay for too long," she said, in an ominous and serious tone, as if she knew something that Emilin didn't.

But then she continued to add, "No matter where it is you go, including here. As a young maiden, it's not safe to be in the wilderness alone."

Emilin had felt a little invisible pressure when she was first asked to not stay long, which alerted her, most especially due to that previous group that she had met which included Cenci and the other 4 runners, none of which she knew the true identity of, but all of which made her put up her guard.

Even so, this second part warmed Emilin's heart, just a little bit. This was mainly due to how this old lady's words reminded her of her mother's words.

This further improved Emilin's impression of the old lady, which can already be considered quite favorable considering how the elder had helped Emilin previously.

Both with the simple act of telling her that there was no signal around here, as well as her simple words, that effectively widened her horizons.

"I see. I'll try my best to not stay past my welcome. After all, even the most beautiful scenery should be looked at in moderation, or it might go dull." Emilin agreed with the elder, knowing that she had only said what she had in her consideration.

The elderly lady didn't know where all this came from, but she was glad that the young lass had agreed not to stay too long.

Still, there was something that bugged her with how desolate the child's tone was.

"Haha, you say the strangest, yet most interesting things child. Nature is one of the most accepting places in the world, perhaps second only to your home, yet you act like an outsider."

'Well, some can't say the same. Families and homes may not even be as accepting, but hopefully, that is not the case for this young lass.'

'But the point still stands.'

'In nature, who can say what? Can you be distinguished by your IQ? EQ? Money? Appearance? As for society, it is most definitely not as accepting.'