Transdimensional Marketing

Chapter 212: “Epic” Rescue! (1)

Chapter 212: “Epic” Rescue! (1)

Chapter 212 – “Epic” Rescue! (1)

China’s representative opened the folder in her hands and pulled out a stack of documents and explanatory drafts. She then turned on the microphone before her, politely smiled at everyone present, and began her speech. She went straight into the topic without wasting time on polite remarks.

“Asteroid Bell is a very tricky problem. Without Transdimensional Review’s warning, human civilization will definitely suffer a serious hit. However, even though we now have three months’ time to plan and have access to the Interstellar Portal, solving this problem still won’t be easy.

“Just now, the distinguished International Astronomical Union’s president, Mr. Smith, has already explained the most challenging aspect in diverting Bell’s orbit. The asteroid’s rotation speed is simply too fast, and its centrifugal force has already reached the critical value of its current mass.

“Another problem is that the asteroid’s internal structure is very loose. Once it is damaged by external forces, it is very likely to disintegrate. If that happens, we humans will lose complete control over the asteroid, which is unacceptable.

“Hence, after conducting detailed analysis, multi-faceted consideration, and research by numerous experts, we have come up with the following plan.”

After saying so, the female representative opened the first page of her documents and displayed a digital copy of it on the screen. “Please look at the screen.”

Immediately, everyone in the room shifted their attention to the main screen.

“The name of this plan is—Reverse Yarkovsky.”

At the mention of the plan’s name, many people started having hushed discussions among themselves.

Ignoring the private discussions everyone held, the female representative continued, “The Yarkovsky effect, simply put, refers to the small but significant driving force that asteroids produce when they absorb sunlight and release heat. Everyone present is a professional, so I won’t describe it in detail.”

“Fellow representative, I have a question,” a blond researcher with blue eyes declared with her hand raised. “Do you plan to set up solar reflectors on the asteroid, using them to convert the thermal photons of the sun’s ray into kinetic energy? But this method is too slow. We only have three months. We have insufficient time for this method to produce the necessary results.”

“That’s why the plan is called Reverse Yarkovsky,” the Chinese representative said, smiling. “The momentum generated from thermal photons is indeed too weak, so we won’t be relying on the sunlight’s photons. Instead, we’ll only rely on its heat.

“The plan is as such: We’ll set up reflectors with a radius exceeding 50 meters and focus the sunlight on the asteroid’s axis of rotation. The sunlight will then heat up the rock mass, creating gas jets.”

Everyone in the hall halted their respective conversations at this explanation, and many people picked up their computers and started making their own calculations.

“The continuous ejection of gas will continuously accelerate the asteroid. After the analysis and calculation of three of our teams, if everything goes well, Asteroid Bell will brush past Earth three months later. The distance between the two is 190,000 kilometers.”

“Only 190,000 kilometers...” The conference chairman frowned and fell into thought. After a moment, he asked, “Did you take into account Earth’s gravity? Are the reference parameters correct?”

“We’ve already included it in our calculations,” the Chinese representative nodded. “My assistants will send the detailed data to everyone’s terminals.”

The caucasian old man’s frown deepened. Stretching out an index finger and tapping his forehead, he asked, “What about enhancements? Do you have any enhancement plans?”

“Yes. Please look at the screen,” the Chinese representative said as she flipped to the second page of her documents. “The most adequate enhancement plan we’ve come up with is to pair the solar reflector with 130 laser transmitters. Under the assumption that Bell’s structure remains stable, we’ll fire the lasers at a frequency of one-fifteenth of a second to enhance gas emissions.

“There are several other conventional heating methods, but those aren’t easy to control and may cause the asteroid’s disintegration.”

At the end of her speech, the female representative spread her hands and said, “The only angle we can push the asteroid in is forward. This is the safest and most stable way. As for the problem of Bell being torn apart by gravity when passing by Earth, that cannot be avoided. We can only hope that the plan works well and pushes the asteroid far enough.”

“It’s enough!” the old man stood up, his eyes brimming with vigor. “Bell’s rotation is a huge problem. Being able to deviate its orbit by 190,000 kilometers is already a difficult task. But...”

“But what?”

“Simply relying on reflective heat energy isn’t enough. Should we apply oil on the asteroid?”

“Yes. Applying oil is the most important step,” the female representative nodded. “Three days ago, we’ve already contacted Britain’s Nano Company to jointly develop a special paint with a light absorption rate of up to 99.965% to paint the asteroid’s surface.”

“So...” The old man’s hands suddenly trembled. “We’re going to have Transdimensional Review’s host...do painting?”

At the chairman’s words, the conference hall suddenly fell silent.

“...” Looking down at the documents in her hands, the female representative corrected the chairman, “We need to have him do lots and lots of painting...”

...

“I offered you everything! The lightsaber! The protective suit! I even nearly tore down the island-building ship’s sand cannon! Yet, you’re telling me you want me to paint the asteroid?!”

A week later, on the Purple Mountain Observatory’s plaza, under the gaze of nine million viewers, Chen Yu stared at the supervisor in charge of the asteroid-deviation project.

“I’m sorry, Mr. King.” The middle-aged supervisor repeatedly bowed to Chen Yu. “Due to Asteroid Bell’s special nature, it cannot be attacked with weapons. Only by pushing the asteroid using the Yarkovsky effect can we safely change its orbit.”

“But...” Stretching his hand, Chen Yu pointed at the innumerable oil drums decorating the plaza and roared, “Isn’t this a little too much?! How long do I need to keep painting for?!”

“Bell’s diameter is six kilometers, so the area near its axis is very small.” Wiping away the sweat covering his forehead, the supervisor raised two fingers and said, “You just need to paint two kilometers at most...”

Chen Yu: “...”

“O-Or maybe just a little bit more...”

“...Don’t you have a plan that’s awe-inspiring like the ones seen in hero movies?” Chen Yu asked. Spreading out his hands, he started diligently describing the image in his mind, “Don’t you have a plan that involves danger, difficult situations, hard work, and wisdom? Something that ends with cheers, shouts, applause, and flowers rushing to my face once I save the world before everyone’s eyes. Are there none?”

“N-No...” Gulping, the supervisor braced himself and said, “You’ve already said it was a movie. I-In the real world, only efficiency and results matter.”

[Hahaha, I’m dying from laughter!?(???)?]

[I’m a painter? I’m a good painter?]

[At least we get to see hundreds of drums of paint.]

[I pitied the UP for a moment there.]

[Hohoho... Hihihi... Hahahaha...]

[I just found out the asteroid’s six kilometers in diameter! My god!]

[It seems the asteroid’s rotating too quickly, so it cannot be touched. Otherwise, it’ll disintegrate.]

[But isn’t painting the asteroid a little too crazy? Is such a method really capable of intercepting an asteroid?]

[Never heard of it before.]

[This is a plan made by professionals. It’s definitely much more useful than those fabricated by the media.]

Turning around and looking at the many drums of paint, Chen Yu still refused to give up as he asked, “Are there really no other plans?”

“Mr. King, there are none.”

“...”

Three minutes later...

While carrying a large paintbrush on his left shoulder and a drum of paint in his right hand, Chen Yu lingered before the Interstellar Portal.

“Mr. King, time is of the essence. Let’s start now,” the supervisor said as he led a large group of staff members, experts, and professors to bow and salute Chen Yu. “We will help you transport the paint drums from here.”

“Dammit! This saving-the-world scene is not epic at all!”

While muttering curses, Chen Yu stepped across the Interstellar Portal and arrived on the grayish-cyan asteroid named Bell...