Transform into a magical girl after getting off work

Chapter 47: Chapter 43 The Privilege Called "Caprice

"Becoming a Magical Girl," this event shone like a light into Xia Liang's ordinary life, offering her an escape, a chance to save herself.

So much so that she didn't hesitate, not even stopping to consider what she might have to give up, and chose to accept.

"Because for me, that was the first time in many years that I'd felt needed," Xia Liang said, her eyes flickering as she looked at Emerald Sparrow.

"I was lucky. At that time, the invitation from you and Xiao Lu, to become a Magical Girl, was a complete surprise, a dreamlike experience."

"Then why do you feel troubled now?" Emerald Sparrow nodded, maintaining a calm demeanor as she continued to ask questions. However, after hearing the "story" from Xia Liang's mouth, her heart was far from as serene as it appeared.

She didn't offer immediate comfort because she was well aware that Xia Liang had endured much to reach today, to maintain her current moral character rather than be completely consumed by past experiences and a dreary life. What she needed was not "sympathy."

She wasn't telling this story to seek such fruitless emotions. Sympathy, to personal suffering, was the most lightweight, the cheapest form of benevolence requiring no responsibility.

If she hadn't known Xia Liang and had only heard of a tragedy through social news, she would've expressed her sympathy without a second thought; but she knew Xia Liang, the Magical Girl she had chosen for Fangting City and her daughter's future team—a real person in front of her, waiting to be guided, and she needed to genuinely help her.

"Why the trouble? Honestly, I'm also confused about my feelings right now," Xia Liang admitted, touching her chest involuntarily, her expression lost. "Without a doubt, I feel happy, this month has been more meaningful than the past year, but where does this emptiness come from?"

...Is it fundamentally "loneliness"?

Emerald Sparrow remained silent, making her judgment internally.

Putting herself in Xia Liang's shoes, living alone in this house filled with both happy and sad memories. After her duties as a Magical Girl were done, coming back to face solitude every day, she would feel lonely too.

Realizing this, she knew what she should say.

"Xiaojin."

After gathering her thoughts, Emerald Sparrow began, "What are your feelings towards your mother now?"

Without a doubt, Xia Liang's mother had the most significant impact on her development. Yet, the idea of "being a good child" that her mother instilled in her led to Xia Liang's current self-doubt.

Emerald Sparrow believed that she might not be able to eradicate the influence of this idea on Xia Liang with just a few words, but at least she had to tell her what was right.

"My mother? To be honest, I'm not clear myself," Xia Liang pondered Emerald Sparrow's question, her head drooping in contemplation. "I guess I still have some attachment to her? That's why I've been seeking an answer from her, but since then, no matter how many times I visit the prison, she completely refuses to see me."

"Then, if I may be so bold,"

Sitting up straight, Emerald Sparrow looked at Xia Liang earnestly, "I think what your mother said was wrong."

"...Many people have told me that," Xia Liang lifted her head, chuckling dryly. "But no one has ever explained why. What do you think, senior?"

"Because 'obedience' and 'being loved' have no causal relationship," Emerald Sparrow said with a cold expression, yet her tone was very serious.

It was crucial for her to help Xia Liang sort out these thoughts, to understand the difference between the two.

"Haha, that's true. Although, I actually came to that realization a long time ago," after a moment of shock, Xia Liang spoke with a touch of bitterness. "I know that being obedient is useless. If only I had stood up for myself sooner before that day, perhaps I wouldn't have had to become a child without a home? After all, back then, I was just constantly self-satisfying, comforting myself."

"The human heart is complicated, so don't blame yourself for these things; you've done very well,"

Shaking her head, Emerald Sparrow interrupted her self-reproach, "Besides, I want to say that there's nothing wrong with being obedient; well-behaved children should be praised and commended. However, at the same time, 'willfulness' is actually a child's privilege."

"Willfulness?" Xia Liang was momentarily stunned.

"Willfulness," Emerald Sparrow affirmed calmly.

With eyes widening, Xia Liang said, puzzled, "But surely, being willful would just annoy adults and then they'd dislike you, right?"

"You're imagining adults too one-dimensionally,"

Emerald Sparrow pressed down with one hand, signaling her to listen patiently, "Constant willfulness can indeed be annoying, but appropriate willfulness is also a form of endearment. It could even be seen as a way of acting spoiled."

"Huh?" Xia Liang voiced her astonishment, "Even if you say that..."

"A child who is too obedient, because they never act willfully, they never express their desires, they appear too perfect and idealized, and that might make bad adults feel incompetent,"

Lowering her gaze, Emerald Sparrow explained slowly, "In front of such a sensible child, adults don't feel capable, they might even need the child to console them, as if they are the ones who are completely unreasonably acting like children."