Very Pure and Ambiguous: The Prequel

Volume 1 - 155 – I’m Your Martial Uncle

“How do you use this thingy...” I muttered, the black thingy doesn’t even have a button, I don’t know if it’s broken or not, but the success or failure this time depends on it!

“Old bro Yama, are you there!” I roared to the black jade.

No reply.

“Old bro Yama, can you hear me?” I continued to roar.

Still no reply.

“Fuck, damn Yama, what are you doing?” I said angrily.

Still no reply.

“Wahahahahaha! Say, Almsgiver, stop messing with this lowly Daoist, this thing can make a call? Hahaha!” Jiaoyazi couldn’t help but laugh.

However, at this moment, an annoyed roar sounded out from within the jade pendant, “Fuck, who’s disturbing my sleep? What is it!”

This voice... It’s my old bro Yama! Fuck, there’s finally a reply!

Just as I was about to speak, Footy beside me excitedly leaped up, and shouted with a tears, “Shifu... Is it you? Is it you? I’m Jiaoyazi!”

“Jiaoyazi? So it’s you brat, I just fucking fell asleep, and you called me, let’s see how I take care of you when you come back to the underworld!” Yama said.

“......”????????????????????????????????????????

“...” Jiaoyazi showed a troubled expression, the person that disturbed shifu is the brat in front of him, he could only blame his impatience, and thus became the one to take the blame.

I had a gloating expression, and looked proudly at him.

“What did you find me for?” Yama asked.

“No-Nothing,” Jiaoyazi didn’t know what to say all of a sudden, and stuttered. He looked weirdly at the jade pendant in front of him, there actually was something like this, it was like the phones in the human realm. However, he didn’t recall that the last time he returned to the underworld was six hundred years ago, this dark energy phone is a recent product, he naturally wouldn’t know.

“Why did you call me for no reason then... Ai, that’s not right! How can you call me? Aside from my gandidi, no one else has this phone number in the living realm! Ai, fuck, I wonder how’s my lil bro, he hasn’t contacted me in so long, I miss him so much!” Yama murmured to himself.

They say the listener will always read too much into things the speaker says. Jiaoyazi on this side of the phone’s expression was already pale, hearing shifu say that “gandidi”, he gulped. It looks like the person in front of him is truly shifu’s didi! Now he’s made a grave mistake!

“Old bro Yama, I’m Liu Lei!” Hearing that old bro Yama actually didn’t forget about me, I immediately said loudly towards the jade pendant.

“Good kid! It really is you! Old bro really miss you! How is it, did manage to get the little girl?” Hearing that it’s me, Yama immediately got happy.

“Hehe, you still need to ask, look at who your lil bro is!” I said proudly.

“Oh yeah, lemme ask you something, did you sleep with the girl?” Yama suddenly thought of something and quickly asked.

I sweat! He could actually ask this sort of stuff?

“Did you or not! Lil bro, say it quickly! There isn’t much time left, if you haven’t then mount her quickly!” Yama said anxiously.

“Old bro, this doesn’t seem to have anything to do with you right...” I said awkwardly.

“What do you mean nothing to do with me! Lives are at stake! Tell old bro first, did you or did you not!” Old bro Yama interrupted me.

“I did...” I could only say helplessly.

“That’s good! That’s good!” Yama let out a sigh. “Oh yeah, why did you get together with the brat Jiaoyazi?”

“About this... It’s hard to explain!” I was just about to say the reason, but was interrupted by Jiaoyazi.

“Shifu, this is completely a misunderstanding! Misunderstanding!” Jiaoyazi was afraid of me saying something bad for him, so he quickly said.

Hearing that, Yama thought about it a bit, then thought of the reason. Could he not know his own disciple? Thus, he said, “Jiaoyazi, did you treat my lil bro’s powers as evil arts?”

“About this... Shifu...” Jiaoyazi stopped, and couldn’t say anything.

“Oh yeah, old bro Yama, I don’t get it, didn’t you say the people that have been reborn won’t have superpowers? Then about me...” I also asked weirdly.

“Lil bro, I also know about what happened to you, but I can only tell you exactly what happened one year later, there is naturally a reason for this, which is inconvenient for me to disclose,” Yama said. “Jiaoyazi, take the phone to the side, I have something to say to you alone.”

Jiaoyazi took over the phone, and casually placed down a ward and enclosed himself within. I could only see Jiaoyazi continuously nodding, but I couldn’t hear anything.

After a long while, Jiaoyazi opened the ward, and I could hear Yama’s voice pass out from within the jade, “Lil bro Liu Lei, you don’t quite know how to control the power if you body right now, but Jiaoyazi can help you. Okay now, I’m going to continue to sleep, Jiaoyazi will obey your orders from now on, remember to call me, your old bro, often!”

After a few sentences, sound stopped passing out from the jade pendant.

“Jiaoziya pays his respect to martial uncle!” Suddenly, old Daoist Footy kneeled down in front of me and said. “I have offended you a lot just now, I hope martial uncle will understand...”

It can’t be? This old Daoist became my martial nephew! Judging from his abilities he doesn’t look weak, accepting him as a lackey is definitely a super amazing thing!

“Rise, Footy!” I said majestically.

“In response to martial uncle, martial nephew is called Jiaoyazi,” Jiaoyazi said.

“What Jiaoyazi, you’re called Footy from now on!” I said.

“Yes, martial uncle. Martial nephew will be called Footy from now on,” Jiaoyazi said.

“Where is this place?” I looked around, and saw that I accidentally went into a forest deep in the mountains.

“About this, martial nephew isn’t quite clear about it either... Martial nephew just followed martial uncle and ran...” Footy said troubledly.

“——!” I can’t have gotten lost right.

“Martial uncle, although we got lost, we can still use instant teleportation, allowing us to quickly reach our desired destination,” Footy said.

“Instant teleportation? Why didn’t you say so earlier!” I said angrily. I thought we couldn’t go back.

“About this... Martial uncle didn’t ask, so martial nephew didn’t say to speak,” Footy said in fright. It looks like he really treated me as his martial uncle.

“Then let’s use instant teleportation,” I said. “Oh yeah, how do we do that?” I suddenly realized I didn’t know anything.

“Martial uncle, actually it’s really easy, like this...” Footy said to me.

A second later, the two of the appeared within the courtyard of the Industrial Bank.

“Okay, you can leave now,” I said to Footy.

“Yes, martial uncle,” Footy replied.

“Oh yeah, wait...” I stopped Footy again.