Who Let Him Cultivate Immortality

Chapter 284: Daoist Non-Speaker and His Inexplicable Connection to Jail

Lu Yang heard that Daoist Non-Speaker was in jail and blurted out, “Master is in jail again?”

Wait, why did I say “again”?

Yun Zhi sighed deeply and nodded, “I don’t want to admit it, but it’s true.”

“Even though I’ve told Master many times, ‘If you cause trouble in the future, don’t mention your disciples,’”

“But in the end, he is still our Master. Even if he embarrasses himself outside, we must call him ‘Master’ when we meet him, and not pretend we don’t know him.”

“…So the main point just now was about calling him ‘Master,’ not why he ended up in jail?”

“Master wrote a letter asking someone to go and get him out of jail. According to past practice, it’s usually the Fourth Elder who goes to bail him out. This time, since Master is in Great Yan County, we can visit him after dealing with the Everlasting ruins and see why he’s in jail again.”

“Does Master often go to jail?”

“Not often, but he spends more time in jail than most prison guards.”

“Due to Master’s unique experiences, he believes that one must leave something behind in their life, so he wrote books based on his personal experiences and gained the support of the court.”

Lu Yang was curious, “What did Master write?”

“The book is called ?Changes in the Prison Environment of the Great Xia Dynasty over Two Thousand Years.?”

Yun Zhi casually listed a few examples, “I heard that during the Dao Seeking Sect’s Nine era, Master often drove his flying sword under the influence of alcohol, committing the crime of dangerous driving, and would spend months in jail each time.”

Yun Zhi further explained to Lu Yang about the current legal situation in the Great Xia Dynasty, “This is actually the most common crime committed by cultivators. It’s not just driving flying swords, but also gourds, jade flutes, and the like. Many cultivators don’t want to use spiritual qi to sober up after drinking, so they fly around drunk, and the Great Xia Dynasty has repeatedly tried to stop this.”

“Master also once pretended to be a fortune teller, confidently telling a client that they would lose money that day. If they wanted to avoid being cheated, they had to pay to avert the disaster. The client believed Master and paid him spirit stones. Master took the spirit stones and said, ‘See, I told you you’d be cheated today. My prediction was accurate, right?’”

“And then he was jailed.”

Daoist Non-Speaker had done so many things that Yun Zhi couldn’t finish listing them all at once, so she just picked a few examples for Lu Yang.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, little junior brother, but Master once created a spell called ‘Minor Major As You Wish (Localized Version).’ It’s easy to learn and master.” (TL Note: This spell was mentioned in Chapter 109)

Lu Yang nodded. He had indeed heard of that spell, where men could change their lower parts and women their upper parts. He had even wanted to learn it but never found the opportunity.

“Originally, the court wanted to charge Master with creating, copying, publishing, selling, and spreading obscene materials for profit. The Fourth Elder stepped in and argued that Master’s spell was a health technique without any explicit intent. After much debate, the court relented, did not charge Master with a crime, but required him to stop spreading the spell and pay the tax for selling the books.”

“The Fourth Elder is righteous!” Lu Yang didn’t expect that although the Fourth Elder usually seemed displeased with Master, he would step up and save him from imprisonment at a critical moment.

Yun Zhi glanced at Lu Yang and said faintly, “Because the Fourth Elder was also involved in the selling. If Master were guilty, he wouldn’t escape either.”

“In other words, if Master were guilty, the entire of the Dao Seeking Sect’s Nine would be charged, and they’d all go to jail together.”

“No matter what, Master made a lot of money that time, living extravagantly and not treating spirit stones as precious.”

“Master once imitated the Supreme Elder by visiting a brothel. At that time, he was dressed in gold and silver, looking like a nouveau riche. The madam of the brothel was delighted, thinking he was a big customer. But when Master asked for a receipt, the madam’s face turned sour, thinking he was there to cause trouble, and refused to give one.”

“Master believed the brothel was evading taxes, so he reported it to the authorities. In the end, the authorities found the brothel guilty of tax evasion and jailed the madam. They then also jailed Master for soliciting prostitution.”

“When the era of the Nine Sons of Dao Seeking Sect ended, and the Supreme Elder retired, Master and the others took over the sect’s major responsibilities, but he didn’t settle down.”

“You should know, the Great Elder has a hobby of building tombs. Master accompanied the Great Elder to build tombs all over. While digging a pit for a tomb, they accidentally dug up a real tomb. They were reported as grave robbers, and the authorities sent people to arrest them. The two thought zombies were attacking and almost started a fight.”

The Everlasting Fairy, listening from the mental space, clicked her tongue in amazement. Dao Seeking Sect indeed had many extraordinary people, and staying in Lu Yang’s mental space truly broadened her horizons.

Lu Yang: “…”

Lu Yang felt it was not easy to remain steadfast and honest with the influences of both the Everlasting Fairy and Daoist Non-Speaker surrounding him.

“Isn’t Master at the Unity stage? How did he get caught?”

As the leader of Dao Seeking Sect and a top-tier Unity Stage Cultivator, possibly the strongest in the Unity Stage, even if everyone in Great Yan County were stacked together, they wouldn’t be a match for Daoist Non-Speaker.

How could he still get caught?

“Master says jail time is part of worldly cultivation.”

“Does breaking out of jail count as part of worldly cultivation?”

Yun Zhi was silent for a long time, then looked deeply at Lu Yang: “Don’t ask Master this question. I’m afraid he’ll get ideas.”

Lu Yang scratched his head and said, “I have one more question.”

“What is it?”

“Aren’t we supposed to visit him in jail? Why are we eating now?”

At this moment, Lu Yang and Yun Zhi were sitting in a small private room, in front of a table filled with delicious dishes.

After returning from the Everlasting ruins, Yun Zhi didn’t go directly to the jail but instead brought Lu Yang to the best restaurant in Great Yan County, ordering all the local specialties, making Lu Yang’s eyes widen.

He wanted to ask, with Master being held nearby, wasn’t it inappropriate for the two of them to be feasting here?

Considering that he was sitting across from the Eldest Senior Sister, he ultimately didn’t dare to ask.

Yun Zhi took a bite of the steamed beef balls. The beef balls were firm and juicy, and she was very satisfied.

Putting down her chopsticks, Yun Zhi explained without any expression, “Little junior brother, you must understand, what is Master to us? He is our elder. The greatest wish of an elder is to see the younger generation healthy and thriving. Us eating well and sleeping well here will surely make Master very happy when he learns about it in jail.”

Lu Yang felt that what Eldest Senior Sister said made a lot of sense but still found it a bit strange.

Is my brain not working well lately because of the aftereffects of practicing the Yellow Bean Fist?

(End of the chapter)

T?r?a?n?s?l?a?t?e?d? ?B?y? ?Y?i?k?a?i?i?

(TL Note: I’ve noticed a site stealing my translations. If you are not reading this on galaxytranslations then it has been copied. Check NovelUpdates for the original <3 and while you’re at it, please rate it 5 stars! /series/who-let-him-cultivate-immortality/)