Casual Heroing

Chapter 123: Compulsion

While the Princess of the Elves is threatening my life, a thought goes off in my head. It’s a thought about how lucky I have been so far. Few things can really unsettle me, and for some reason, paperwork has always been one of those. I don’t know where this primal fear comes from; I just know that it’s a real thing. Even though I’ve suffered a lot because of it, I still managed to find people kind enough to care about my well-being. From Lucillus to Lord Juler, and even Princess Laura, the same person who wanted to gut me not even twenty-four hours ago.

I am not sure whether I’ll be able to defeat this multi-headed beast that seems always to sprout a new head when I finally manage to excise one. But I can say that, within reasonable doubt, I have people I can count on. And maybe that’s why I’m not feeling as anxious as before. The thought of having to get a [Collector] still unpleasantly rings in my mind. But now, the terror has subsided. I am not in abject fear anymore. I am a bit annoyed, a bit anxious, and scared. But I also know that all these people around me care. And so, why should I betray their trust by killing myself?

“Thank you,” I say to the murderous Princess.

She looks at me and clicks her tongue before putting her sword away.

“If you were an Elf, I would praise your courage and guts. But you are a Human.”

“I’ll still take the compliment,” I smirk, “and I think Stanimal wants you to stay here so you hate Humans a little less. Lots of my peers can behave like killers. But that’s also true for Elves. I got shivved in the street after barely a week or something.”

“Humans call us ‘Demons’ and promote our discrimination throughout the world. Are you complaining because a little blade scratched you?”

“Never called you a ‘Demon,’ so why should I be the one paying for some stupid politicking? If anyone in the street calls you a ‘Demon,’ I’ll be the first to make them swallow their words.”

“Sure. And are you going to go to Teiko and lay to waste every kingdom that’s currently warring with us? Would you end a war by yourself, even if you could? Would you teach every single Human not to hate Elves like you are trying to do with me?”

Holy.

Is this a trap?

Oh, man. I just fell for it. Oh, this is unbelievable. This is ridiculous.

Not even Stan, Lord Juler, or Vilith managed to do something like this.

What? Are you asking me what I’m talking about?

Are you blind?

Can’t you see what’s happening here?

Ok, let me spell it out for you.

This is a part of the main quest.

If I say ‘yes’ to her words, Lady Luck will bind me to them. Then, I’ll have to fight the war to end the Elven-Human conflict.

Holy hell.

What do I say? I can’t say that I will. Who am I to stop a war?

My student.

Oh, shush there for a second.

I look at Princess Laura, who’s a bit taken aback by my silence and a dazed expression. Her purple hair flows in a lustrous waterfall around her shoulders, giving a royal attitude even to those plain clothes she’s wearing.

She’s not just beautiful. She’s what every man would think beauty should look like.

I mean, I think that at some point, Lady Luck will indeed force me to choose or outright kill me. So, I might as well try to make the best of a bad situation.

“Say I stop this conflict between the two continents,” I reply, “would you marry me for that?”

She couldn’t help but snort at my question.

“Are you daft? I would even carry your children if you could stop a war that no one, not even the greatest of us, could ever stop.”

“Oh man, why did you have to say that,” I say with a pained expression, putting my head between my hands, facing the table.

“What are you doing now, you flat-eared idiot?” there’s a hint of hesitation in her voice.

“I was hoping you would say no to this. Oh, man, now I have to stop an entire war. Goddamnit. I mean, at least it sounds like a good excuse to avoid paperwork. I guess I would be given an amnesty for all the wrong forms I submitted in that case.”

“Mmmmh,” I perk up while thinking of that. “That is an even bigger incentive.”

“An amnesty for the wrong submission of legal forms would be better than marrying me?” Princess Laura fishes something out of her bag of holding and puts a translucent crystal on the table.

“Is that a truth stone?”

“A truth stone of the highest grade. It can reveal truths even if you’ve convinced yourself that something isn’t actually true. It will pierce whatever idiocy governs your mind.”

I see several sparks flash all blue inside the truth stone.josei

“That is… wow. Let’s try it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever dreamt of encountering in every world I’ve lived in.”

Every mote of light inside the crystal flashes blue.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Always speaking the truth.

“Answer my question.”

“I would like to have at least three children, though. I was an only child, and only books and forced labor were my hobbies. I think that every child should have siblings. Maybe a boy at first, then two girls. That way, the boy would protect the younger sisters. I mean, now that I think about it, all the women I’ve here met so far were more dangerous than the men. So, that’s that.”

Blue, and blue.

“Would you take an amnesty from all paperwork in perpetuity rather than marrying the Princess of Elves? I’m pretty sure we could even arrange a treaty to avoid the repercussions of incorrect paperwork in every other country, as long as our kingdom was willing to foot the fines.”

God, woman. You are making my life very hard. What kind of proposal is that? That’s the dirtiest thing anyone has ever said to me. How could I even think that such a benefit existed?

“Maybe our marriage should take place in a Garden rather than the Royal Palace. I’d want something less ‘stuffy’ if you know what I mean. I’m not sure I want Lucillus as my best man. Maybe I’d take Camilla as a ‘best woman’ if that’s allowed. Oh, we could have Stanimal walk you to the altar!”

Princess Laura slowly hunches forward on the table, balling her hands into fists. She’s clearly unhappy with me not answering her question. In fact, she fishes out a piece of parchment from her robe and smiles wickedly at me.

“Is that for our vows?”

“I’m sure this is a waste of my time and money, Human. But I want to know how stupid you really are, even if it costs me a good artifact.”

She whispers a few words under her breath before speaking again.

“Are you, or will you be able to, in a ten-year frame of time, stop the war between Epretos and the Kingdoms of Teiko, knowing that Teiko’s military power is no less than that of Epretos and that the power you have witnessed in my Ancestor is not nearly enough even to hopeto stop such a conflict?”

[Curse Received: Compelled Answer, Truth-Inducing]

I see a skill flash in my mind, and before I can even realize what’s happening, my mouth opens.

“I believe I will become much more powerful than your current Ancestor and any living [Archmage]. I deem my chances of becoming strong enough to stop this conflict high, if not very high. That is, obviously, if I put every effort of mine into such an attempt.”

I go pale beyond imagination as soon as the last word forcibly comes out of my mouth.

And the crystal flashes blue.