Casual Heroing

Chapter 163: Pyromancer

Ok, I have to admit I’m very disappointed. I was expecting much more than this. Look, maybe my expectations were too high. Yeah, maybe. But this place is just…

It has the same grit and dueling feeling a girls’ soccer field has. Minus the hot single moms cheering for their daughters on the bleachers. So, what am I even doing here?

[Archmage] Marcus nods at me wisely from a stand with barely four rows of seats. Oh, come on. This is just humiliating. I mean, I don’t want the whole ‘tournament’ experience, but at least give me something!

The field is ridiculous and has wild grass growing all over it. The bleachers are pathetically small. Is this how my tournament arc starts?

When I look at the center of the arena, I can see my first adversary.

It’s a woman.

She’s clearly overweight and has thinning hair and puffy cheeks. I have to say, at least she has red hair. Adriana told me my first enemy was a [Pyromancer]. Well, fire is red; she’s a redhead. Also, she has a pretty cool robe and jewelry. Her robe is red – again, yeah, you are a [Pyromancer], we get it. A big golden belt on her stomach—dude, like… who gives you fashion advice? That’s not a good look on you, girl.

But even from a great distance, I can spot two big golden earrings with rubies. Oh, that’s a proper artifact now. Still a bit cringy with all this ‘red,’ but it is what it is.

“Yo! Is this it?! We just start fighting?!” I shout toward the bleachers where Marcus and Stan are.

They nod, and I feel Adriana pass by me and walk between me and the woman on the other side. Adriana, unlike Marcus, has purplish scales. They are a weird combination of blue and purple. When I say ‘weird,’ I mean that they blend in very unusual patterns. She’s quite pretty, to be honest.

“I’ll be presiding all the matches today!” Adriana’s voice suddenly booms. “Joey Luciani has come to the Nine Towers Academy to humiliate [Mages]!”

What? What have I come for, sorry?

“He said he could single-handedly defeat every single [Mage] of his generation!”

That elicits a storm of boos from the bleachers. It’s bleachers where, in the best-case scenario, there are around a hundred people. How is this even a thing now? Where have I ended up? Is this WrestleMania? Is Adriana actually Vince McMahon? And why is she trying to rile up such a small crowd?

“Dude, listen,” I tell the woman, “Can we cut this shit out? I’m dead tired. I don’t even swear usually. I just want to sleep.”

“Apparently, Joey Luciani can’t be bothered by these duels! So much he says he’ll sleep through them!”

What?

As I turn to the bleachers, I can see that Atticus, Lucinda, and Augustus have come too. Oh, that’s nice. I mean, two out of three there are probably hoping I’ll get killed or something, but still.

Are you ready for a battery of duels? So far, you have only used [Dispel] on my and the book’s spells. That’s not a great representation of real-world combat.

Thank you for pointing that out seconds before the actual duels, Lord Juler.

If you want, I can take over and teach those [Mages] a lesson. You have important research to take care of. Even as a student of a Vanedeni, I’d simply consider this below you. There would be nothing dishonorable in…

It’s fine. It’s fine. I’ve seen some people casting spells around here. If she’s anything like them, it’s not going to be a problem.

Looking again at the crowd, I notice that [Archmage] Titus has not come. Huh, he’s probably still angry at Marcus, isn’t he?

“Worm!” the fat [Pyromancer] shouts at me.

“Yo,” I wave. Also, I’m unable to suppress a yawn. “Oof, sorry about that. I’ve not slept tonight.”

“HA! Were you pissing yourself, worm?”

I mean, is this ‘worm’ thing such big a deal? Like, why are Humans worms and Elves not? I could see Dragons or Werewolves calling a Human a ‘worm’ for the lack of scales or fur. But Elves?

“I’m going to destroy him!” the ugly woman shouts to the crowd.

“Ok?”

“He will beg for his life, and then I will stomp on his skull!” she continues.

I look at Princess Laura on the stands. She’s on her feet, not sitting like the others. And, unlike what you would think, she doesn’t have the kindest of gazes while looking at me.

“Yo, woman. I think you are making my girlfriend, the Princess, jealous. She has stomping precedence on my skull.”

“He’s trying to intimidate me by putting royalty in the middle! But he doesn’t know—”

Oh, dude. This is unbelievable. Come on, just shut up and let’s get this started. I want to go back to bed. This is so contrived. Please, let’s drop the act. This is not a McGregor match, is it?josei

“Can we start?” irritation starts mounting in me, more for the lack of sleep than being actually offended.

“The Human can’t wait!” Adriana keeps her cringy act up.

“Should I kill the worm?!” the [Pyromancer] shouts to a little group on the stands that immediately jumps up and starts cheering.

They want to eliminate you.

Yeah. I saw, Lord Juler.

You should kill the woman and make an example out of her.

Sure, why not. Let’s just engage in casual murdering.

“The rules are simple!” Adriana goes on. “The first to break the other’s shield wins! You can carry artifacts as long as they do not pose a mortal threat to your opponent!”

Oh, so that’s how it works.

I had actually forgotten to ask about the rules of duels. Shield-breaking? Man, this will be a piece of cake.

“[Mages], raise your shields!”

You know, I like some good smack-talk and tainting. Plus, it’s not like I have any intentions of letting this woman prolong the duel.

[Advanced Hexagonal Three-Folded Shield]

I just create a small one, a foot by foot, shield at my side.

I think she’s shouting something more, but I’m done playing.

[Single-Minded Focus]

[Advanced Mana Sense]

I can see through my skill she’s trying to conjure her shield. It looks like a [Fireball] spell badly distorted to form a sheet of fire mid-air. It would be a real pity if someone tried to…

[Light]

[Light]

I put two matrixes inside her forming shield. The spell matrix that should have formed the shield distorts and dissolves into nothingness in a second. Looking at the spell, I notice a very distinct lack of polarity. Therefore, I basically put in two magnets in succession, creating a big distortion field. If you can’t see your own matrixes, it’s basically impossible to understand what happened. Or that it has happened.

In fact, the woman doesn’t even realize it for a few seconds. She just looks smug until she finally recognizes that her casting is taking longer than usual. Then, she furrows her—she has brown eyebrows? Huh. She dyes her hair, then. That could explain why it’s falling out, probably — bad reagents.

Anyway, she tries again.

And guess what.

[Light]

This time, I only use one, and her spell matrix crumbles again.

“Yo, can’t you even cast a shied?” I say while yawning and resting my body against the small shield I’ve conjured.