Chapter 55: Butt-Naked Florida Man Invades Snake Farm with WWI Gun, Claims He is Liberating Town from Demons
Chapter 55: Butt-Naked Florida Man Invades Snake Farm with WWI Gun, Claims He is Liberating Town from Demons
Intense flames engulfed the woods, brightening the dark night. Diana, Zhu Xin Ci, captured humans, Lamias in Terra City, and Lamia elites among Diana's ranks all gazed at the hellfire to the north.
Diana shook her head slightly and shifted her attention to the system screen before her, searching for a destined main character with a fire specialty. A moment later, a list of five names appeared, with Felix's name still among them.
"A phoenix's child. This is a mismatch," Diana muttered, her expression darkening. She immediately issued a new order. "All units, leave the city immediately! Take whatever you can and head southwest! We'll take a detour and return to the Black Forest!
DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE ENEMY!"
Zhu Xin Ci pursed her lips, puzzled by Diana's fear of human mages. Despite her doubts, she complied with the order, organizing her platoon to leave with some good seedbeds and handsome men. As for those they couldn't bring, she ordered their execution.
Sounds of crying and bloodcurdling screams continued as the hellfire to the north burned. The Lamias began packing and withdrawing southwest, following Diana's main troops.
.
.
In the midst of the napalm flames, a naked Felix stood atop the charred corpses of monsters, deeply inhaling carbon monoxide and toxic ash. He opened his arms, bathing in the fiery purgatory. The tips of the blaze licked his orifices and innards, cleansing him from the inside.
*DING*
<Your lifespan has increased by one year.>
<You have gained one mana.>
Every second, Jessica prompted him with automatic messages indicating that his constitution was slowly getting stronger. Additionally, the napalm flames boosted his lifespan. However, there was a side effect—the more heat he felt, the more he was in heat.
Standing erect and t-posing, Felix exerted dominance over the dead Lamias. He gazed at them with pity, thinking he could have used them as material for his needs.
Felix wanted to rush into the city to check on his house, but farming took priority. He stood still, watching the Lamia camp from afar. Aside from the 500-Lamia company, no one came after him. He couldn't bring out his gun to shoot them as the flames might harm the guns and cause the ammunition to explode.
Ten minutes later, the fire weakened and vanished. Felix checked his status to see the improvements.
…
Name: Felix Ariel
Age: 18/1,852
Bloodline: [Unknown]
Element Affinity: Fire, Metal, Poison, Void
Authorized Level: Super Democracy Pass (F)
Level: 13
Energy: 5,750/20,442
Mana: 20,442
Innate Talent: Flame Lungs, Fast Learner, Fire Immunity, Poison Immunity
…
It went well. His level increased by one, unlocking five new inventory slots.
As playtime ended, Felix moved forward, stepping on burnt ground and charred monsters with his bare feet. He withdrew a new polo shirt from his inventory and put it on but didn't bother with new pants as his excited state made it impractical.
Felix pulled out the M1903 rifle he had used and manually loaded five mana-piercing rounds. Fixing the thermal scope, he aimed at the camp while continuing to walk.
Through the scope, Felix saw the camp, where several Lamias were still guarding prisoners. He began counting his enemies within range:
20...
30...
40...
Around 40?
Oh, there's another group coming out of the city. That makes it 50.
After getting a rough count, Felix stopped walking and lay prone on the ground. His excited state made his posture awkward as he bent his hips. He started picking off stray guards.
*BANG*
.
.
.
As soon as the gunshots resumed and one of the Lamias went down, a shout rang out, reminding the others.
"The mage is back! The troops have lost! RETREAT!"
Every lingering monster girl at the north gate camp dropped everything and scrambled into the city, ignoring the captives and treasures they had collected. The surviving prisoners looked around in joy. Injured men and women cried and cheered, thanking Heaven for a miracle.
The north camp wasn't the only place abandoning belongings and prisoners. Within the city, Mei also left behind some valuables she had taken from Roland and Robert's citadel. However, she carried both Lundop lords, as these mages were precious seedbeds for their babies.
Mei carried both men on her shoulders, ignoring their bloated bellies and the eggs slipping out of their rear holes. Robert and Roland were still alive, but their four limbs were missing, their eyes dulled from the trauma inflicted by Zhu Xin Ci and Mei.
Frustrated by the retreat order, Mei flicked her tongue in irritation.
*BANG*
As Mei was retreating, she heard a gunshot from the city. She knew where it came from.
"That archmage's building again…"
Enraged, Mei tossed the two limbless mages to her subordinates. "These mages are the third princess's seedbeds! Take them away!"
Two of Mei's retainers reluctantly carried the limbless men and retreated through the west gate. Mei, meanwhile, stomped toward the building, hoping to bait the lurkers outside.
Arriving at Felix's building, Mei shouted.
"COWARD! COME OUT AND FACE ME LIKE A WARRIOR! STOP HIDING LIKE A GOBLIN!"
*BANG*
A bullet came straight at Mei's face and hit her neck, but it did nothing to her. She smirked, confident in her natural defense and tough scales. Mei stood in front of the building and looked at the rooftop, challenging the people inside.
*BANG*
*BANG*
Bullets hit her chest and face. Again, they were nothing to Mei. She crossed her arms and waited.
*BANG*
*BANG*
The people inside didn't give up, and Mei remained patient, playing the long game.
It worked. After getting hit ten times, the gunshots stopped. Mei could vaguely see the silhouettes of two women on the rooftop, looking back at her.
After identifying their gender, Mei grew more confident. As most archmages were male, she believed the women were relying on artifacts instead of their real power.
"Well, well, well. I didn't notice earlier, but I see two goblin sluts in there. Too bad for you, we monopolize the men now!"
No response came from the two women on the rooftop. Mei remained unperturbed. While waiting for a reaction, she looked around, searching for any leftover.
She found one: an ugly, fat man who had mutated into a snake-head zombie after a fun ride. Mei dragged the man over and pushed him toward the entrance, whispering in his ear.
"Enter that building for me. There are females in there."
The zombie hissed as if understanding Mei's order and staggered toward the building, crossing the barrier. Unfortunately, a thunderbolt struck him.
Mei was disappointed. She turned around and scoffed, "Just keep hiding. We'll be back again."
But as Mei turned to look north, she noticed a dozen human children entering the city through the north gate, escorted by a couple of men with bloated bellies. Seeing the humans, Mei had an idea. She jumped them, grabbed two 10-year-old boys, and brought them in front of the building, raising them high to show the residents inside.
"COME OUT OR I'LL BUTCHER THESE CHILDRE-"
*BANG*
Another gunshot echoed in the city, but this time from the north road. Following the children and elders was a butt-naked man in a polo shirt, holding an M1903 rifle. Smoke rose from the muzzle after the mana-piercing round fired.
Mei flinched. She turned and saw a familiar face. Felix was there.
Mei looked down and saw a hole in her stomach.