Chapter 56: Florida Man Donates Sperm to Snake Farm to Help Boost Rare Snake Population and Returns Home Butt-Naked
Chapter 56: Florida Man Donates Sperm to Snake Farm to Help Boost Rare Snake Population and Returns Home Butt-Naked
"H-How?!"
Mei was astonished. She was confident in her physique, tough scales, and firm muscles that could block any magic spell and aura attack. Yet, she was injured. She looked up and glared at Felix.
"You, how did you…"
Felix silently glanced at the ruined town and the mess the Lamias had made. Human body parts and piles of corpses littered the streets. Burnt houses and wreckage emitted white smoke, and some wooden beams were still on fire. Injured women, men, and children lay helplessly among the dead. Traces of lewd activities marked the area, but the smell of blood and burnt wood covered most of the scent.
Seeing what the monster girls had done, Felix furrowed his brows and returned his attention to Mei. He stopped walking, keeping a distance between them.
Felix asked, "Was it necessary? What have these people done to you?"
Mei pressed her palm on her stomach to stop the bleeding. Her aura seeped into the flesh, sealing blood vessels. After completing the basic treatment, Mei looked up and smirked, ignoring the question and changing the topic. "Did you pretend to be weak back then?"
"Don't dodge my question, scum!"
*BANG*
Felix pulled the trigger, and a bullet punctured Mei's right thigh. For the first time, she screamed in pain and fell to her knees. Sitting down, she grabbed her right thigh and pressed on the wound.
"CURSE YOU, ELEANOR'S GOBLINS! WE RESPECTED YOU AND HONORED YOU!!" Mei yelled at Felix.
He nodded slightly, "Yes, you kinda did until you left me to die."
*BANG*
The third bullet pierced Mei's lungs. She collapsed on her back and coughed black blood. Felix pulled out a new strip of five mana-piercing rounds and reloaded the rifle. After pulling the bolt, he strode forward while aiming at Mei's face.
"Tell me, snake. What have these people done to you?! If you want to breed, you could have asked, and a million horny men would gladly breed with you! Why did you do all this?!"
He was angry. At first, he thought it would be a simple war between two landlords. However, everything turned south after these monsters got involved. Felix continued seeking an answer even though he didn't need to know. He simply wanted to vent his frustration.
"Why the children? Why the women and elders?! What was it that you needed?!"
Mei slowly sat up and smirked again. "You invasive species have no idea, do you?"
"What?"
Mei stood up and hissed, her wounds already closed. She bellowed, "For a thousand years, you mages have been invading this land, cutting down trees, and polluting rivers. You enslaved us and made us your pets! We simply took some land back, and you're complaining?!"
Bright blue light shone from her body, exuding a thick layer of aura.
"HUMAN ALPHA! I CHALLENGE YOU! FIGHT ME TO THE DEATH!" As soon as Mei finished her words, she lunged at Felix.
"…Nah."
Calmly, Felix raised his gun and pulled the trigger. The bullet blasted through her upper jaw and destroyed her brain. Mei collapsed on the street and stopped moving.
Felix lowered his gun and walked to the dead monster girl. He sat next to her and slapped her perky butt.
"Another wasteful fap material. Oh, well. Another stock for mana," Felix complained while he collected the dead body into his system inventory. Then, he looked ahead, where his home was still intact.
Seeing his house not far away, Felix was relieved. He got up and proceeded ahead while he watched the system map. Most red dots had already left the city. However, several mutated humans were still gathering near the west gate, appearing as red dots. As Felix observed closely, he noticed at least a hundred purple dots and giant dots, indicating absurdly strong hostile monsters or humans among them.
Noticing the threats, Felix decided not to be too greedy. As everybody was slowly moving away, Felix chose not to pursue. He turned around to collect more dead people and the spoils of war.
…
The sun rose, and Felix stopped collecting dead bodies as some survivors started becoming active, and they might catch him disrespecting the dead.
Surviving townspeople and escaped prisoners roamed the remains of their wrecked houses. Some stared at the ruins in a daze, while many shed tears of regret and sadness. A few even decided to end their lives to escape the torment.
Felix left them alone. He returned home, wondering how Jane and the dumb golem were doing.
Standing in front of his house, he looked up and noticed a lingering barrier dome around it. He pursed his lips and reached out to touch the surface.
However, his hand went through.
Felix shrugged and waltzed toward the front door and tried to open it.
*CLICK*
It was locked from the inside.
Felix looked up, contemplating if he should climb the building and enter the house through the rooftop. Fortunately, someone above had been waiting for him.
"Felix?"
Felix heard Jane's voice. He waved his hand, "Hey, yo. Daddy's home!"
"FELIX!!" Jane rushed back into the house and squealed in excitement.
The returning daddy snickered. But then, the corner of his eyes noticed another being on the rooftop. Upon looking at the person, Felix recognized her - She was Valley.
'What the hell is she doing in my house?' Felix thought. He didn't want his residence to become a party house like rich Californian kids turning their dad's place into a clubhouse.
*CLICK*
Jane removed the barricades and unlocked the door. Opening the door, she leaped at Felix, embracing him. Then, she started crying.
Felix dryly laughed and patted her back. He looked into the house and noticed the faceless golem puffing his chest. As Chad as he was, the golem gave Felix a thumbs-up and left the couple alone.
Jane whimpered, "I thought you abandoned us."
"Idiot." Felix snickered and slapped Jane's butt, "Whose ass can I slap if I leave my cute wife?"
"…"
Jane pulled her head back and stared at his face. Then, she sniffed and touched his forehead. A second later, she jumped away from him.
"Felix, your body is kinda… hot."
"Yeah, I know I'm hot." Felix laughed.
"I mean it literally. Your body is like a boiling pot."
"Oh," Felix touched his neck and forehead. Indeed, he had taken a bath in the middle of the napalm flame a few hours ago, and his body temperature was slightly higher than a cat's.
Thinking of his body temperature, Felix looked down and stared at his Long Long Johnson. He smirked.
"Jane."
"What?" Jane also looked down and frowned, noticing that Felix was butt-naked, "Did you do one of those Lamias?"
"Nope. But hey, wanna try it hot?"
"…Go take a bath first, you stupid horn dog! Your smell is worse than hairy slum drunkards!"
"…"