Florida Man in Magus World: Unleashing Liberty and Freedom

Chapter 63: Florida Man Demands Refund from Hospital After Transition Surgery, Claims He Has Too Many Breasts

After successfully crafting the first batch of spirit stones, Felix repeated the process. The second batch yielded six spirit stones instead of five. The third attempt gave him five.

Thinking he had found a cheat, Felix continued the process a hundred times.

…

An hour later, Felix stopped making spirit stones. He looked at his trembling right hand and purple fingertip and consulted with Jessica. "How many times has it been? I've lost count."

<736 times. You currently have 3,459 spirit stones. Also, please take note of your current energy level and blood mass. You have lost 184 ml of blood. It's not a lot, but if you keep doing it every day, you might run into health issues. If the number surpasses 2,000 ml, your lifespan will rapidly decrease over time due to degrading organ conditions.

In short, you can still die of blood loss. Also, Ashen Resurrection only works if you are burned to death.>

Felix took notes. He glanced at his status bar and noticed that his energy had dropped to 264,000. He could easily regenerate it back to full by smoking, but the blood loss issue could be troublesome in the long run.

After stocking the newly crafted spirit stones, Felix shifted his attention to the oil and mana extraction. He allocated oil to his inventory and extracted it.

DING

<You have extracted 100,000 mana from 100 barrels of Refined Azure Petroleum.>

<The system has collected 40,000 mana as Petroleum Tax.>

<You have gained 60,000 mana.>

The grind resumed.

.

.

Day 25

*DING*

<You have extracted 100,000 mana from 100 barrels of Refined Azure Petroleum.>

<The system has collected 40,000 mana as Petroleum Tax.>

<You have gained 60,000 mana.>

<Your level has increased!>

*DING*

<Congratulations. You have extracted a total of 10,000 barrels of Refined Azure Petroleum!>

<Quest completed! Your Super Democracy Pass has been upgraded to Class E!>

<You have obtained Void Phoenix Breathing Manual Volume 1 and 10,000 Essence Stones!>

Manually refining and extracting mana was tedious. Felix finally understood why the system offered an automatic function for a high price. Proud of his hard work, he admired his status menu.

…

Name: Felix Ariel

Age: 17/10,130

Bloodline: Void Phoenix

Element Affinity: Fire, Metal, Poison, Void

Authorized Level: Super Democracy Pass (E)

Level: 26

Energy: 5,072,000/6,100,000

Mana: 6,100,000

Innate Talents: Flame Lungs, Fast Learner, Fire Immunity, Poison Immunity, Ashen Resurrection

…

Everything was going well. Felix had amassed enough wealth and lifespan. If he wanted to, he could retire early and settle down in this ruined town.

He had a house.

He had a wife.

He had practically infinite food and water.

He had a system in place of the internet.

He could live forever!

What else could he ask for? Power? Authority? Fame?

Felix danced and pranced around the contaminated room, excited about the promising future. But after jumping around for ten minutes, the faces of Garudeer, Joxonu, and the old mages came to his mind.

His usual paranoia kicked in. He started imagining worst-case scenarios and simulating the outcome of his actions.

What if those old men attacked his house?

What if those Lamias returned?

What if a Godzilla showed up?

Anything could happen at any moment!

Felix got goosebumps. He glanced at Jessica, whose portrait screen had been floating next to him.

"Let me ask you seriously. What's the chance of me getting killed by monsters, mages, superhumans, or whatever Thanos of this world?"

<I cannot calculate that, but I know that you're not the strongest man in this world. So, yes, you can still be killed if they can disable your abilities and bloodline.>

"This sucks. So, what should I do next... Never mind. I have an idea."

Felix stopped worrying about useless stuff and withdrew the newly acquired manual from the main quest reward. It was a gold bamboo scroll that Felix often saw in Chinese martial arts movies. The text was written in moon rune words that he couldn't read.

Felix looked at the scroll, hoping that if he stared enough, it would translate itself. However, that didn't work.

Jessica rolled her eyes. <Get it back to the inventory. I'll translate it.>

"…"

Felix wryly smiled and deposited the scroll back. Then, he checked the item's description.

…

Void Phoenix Breathing Manual (Volume 1)

This breathing series consists of seven volumes. The first manual is a tutorial for fledgling phoenixes who have never learned a breathing technique. The breathing instruction is simple and easy to master, suitable for beginners. Upon mastering this breathing technique, a fledgling phoenix should have no problem dealing with 90% of local martial artists and monsters.

However, because of its simplicity, it lacks core techniques. For a fledgling phoenix to grow stronger, they need to reach level 49, undergo another rebirth baptism, and learn the basic core technique in the second volume.

By mastering this manual, you can learn the following skills:

- Fire Breathe

- Fireball Spitting / Throwing / Shooting

- Flame Aura

- Flame Mana

…

After reading the intro, Felix was excited. Shifting his attention to the translation, Felix was engrossed in the content. The instruction was strange. The technique demanded Felix deeply inhale and collect air in his lungs and stomach, then exhale the air in his stomach, not the lungs.

Afterward, Felix needed to either choose to inhale air back to his stomach to get to the next step or release the air in his lungs to reset the process. Failure to complete the first air collection step would slightly tire him.

"What the hell is this? Is this supposed to be something a human can do?" Felix complained.

<No. Only phoenixes can use this breathing technique.>

"But I'm a human?"

<Not anymore. Please recheck and reread the bloodline section of your status screen.>

"But I'm a human…"

<You stopped being human when your ancestor resurrected you.>

"I'm not a human?" Felix was on the verge of crying.

<Alright. Fine. You're a human, for now. Satisfied?>

"Meh, just messing with you." Felix scoffed and wiped away the crocodile tear. He pushed all system windows away and sat in his usual corner. He tested the breathing method.

A second later, Felix coughed. It felt weird. The first attempt failed. Felix tried again. The second attempt also failed. Felix didn't mind.

On the third attempt, Felix could vaguely sense the flow of air entering his stomach, but it didn't enter his lungs. He burped. On the fourth attempt, Felix burped again. He was confused about how a person could store air in a stomach, which was used to digest food.

The fifth attempt was a disaster. Air entered his lungs, but the leftover air in his stomach came out. The airflow collided, choking him and making him cough for minutes.

...

At the 155th attempt, something clicked. Felix could finally sense the airflow going through his throat, entering his lungs until they were full, then the air proceeded to his stomach, bloating his belly. Normally when one exhales, the air in the lungs comes out first. However, Felix managed to suppress the air in his lungs and naturally unleashed a loud burp, releasing air in his stomach.

Next, trying to breathe in while the air filled his lungs to the brim, Felix gobbled air as if he were eating it. It succeeded!

At that instance, Felix pulled up a system window and read the next step while holding his breath, suppressing air in his lungs and stomach. He read the next instruction.

'Release the air in the lungs while keeping the air in the stomach? How?!' Felix inwardly screamed.

<It's a juggling breathing method. You switch back and forth between releasing the air in the stomach and lungs.>

"But why?!"

<Do you remember that your lungs generate fire? Now, what if I tell you that your stomach produces flammable gas? Not only can your stomach digest food, but it can also shoot out flammable gas and flammable objects. Think about a dragon in movies or anime. They spit out flame and fireballs, right? Where do you think the "hard" part comes from?>

"…"

Felix thought about how he would randomly vomit objects during a fight to use skills. His expression turned dark.

<Yes, you will puke gas and some "flammable balls" to produce fireball magic. Fun, right?>

"Is there a system item that can change my freaking race? Is there a refund option?"

<Too late. Keep training.>

"Don't want to."

<I see. Then, how about this?>

DING

<You have received Main Quest #7 - Learn Phoenix Breathing Method!>

"…"

At that moment, Felix realized his mistake. He didn't want to be a phoenix anymore.