My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Chapter 170 - It Has Always Been You

When Jiang Jinyan woke up to the familiar white ceiling, the first thought that came to his mind was: damn, I forgot to feed the little thing. How can it be so docile and quiet? 

Gradually, his five senses started to work again and he could faintly hear the familiar sound of the purr it made when it was especially happy…

Confused, Jiang Jinyan followed the source of the sound and found the grey fat furball hoarding its bowl that was stuffed with food, munching and gnawing cheerfully while its throat continued to make purring sounds, its tail swinging back and forth. Jiang Jinyan instinctively sighed in relief.

Wait…the bowl stuffed with food?

Jiang Jinyan sobered up abruptly and the memory before he lost consciousness started to return frame by frame. He shot up sitting and the force pulled on the wound on his arm, making him hiss in pain. He sluggishly turned his eyes to find his arm wrapped in thick white bandage, the scent of Chinese medicine spreading from it. Also, there was a hint of bitterness on the tip of his tongue…

All of a sudden, a figure came out from the kitchen from his peripheral vision. She approached and put her hand on his forehead, smiling in relief at the lowered temperature.

Jiang Jinyan's brain almost crashed down and he had a rare moment of stutter. "Y—You…why are you here?"

Shi Nian cocked her head. She took her phone that was sitting on the low table and typed. [You don't remember?]

Jiang Jinyan swallowed, his voice raspy and feeble. "Remember what?" Don't keep asking, of course he remembered! He just suddenly felt like forgetting so that he could escape from this escapade of embarrassment.

Before she could type again, Jiang Jinyan cut her off. "While I…was sleeping, you're always here?"

Shi Nian nodded and pointed at his forehead. Jiang Jinyan numbly pressed onto his skin and felt the residual low grade fever. Speaking of it, his whole body was covered in sweat, even his clothes were thoroughly dampened…

A sharp whistle came from the kitchen and Shi Nian dashed away like a cheetah. Less than five minutes later, she came out with a bowl of thick and warm porridge. The air was instantly suffused with the fragrant and warm scent of porridge. His stomach didn't disappoint him as it growled out loudly in response.

Jiang Jinyan: "…"

Shi Nian acted like she heard nothing and sat on the low table by his side. She blew on the porridge and brought the spoon to his lips.

Jiang Jinyan snapped out of his senses and dodged awkwardly. "No, I can do it myself…"

She pointed toward his right arm which was bandaged like a dumpling. Jiang Jinyan instantly changed his words. "I can also eat with my left—" She directly shoved the spoon into his mouth, successfully blocking whatever protest he was ready to throw out.

…delicious.

He subconsciously chewed and swallowed. Jiang Jinyan opened his mouth in protest and once again, Shi Nian blocked his mouth with a spoonful of porridge. Jiang Jinyan's eyes met with her smiling ones and he instantly averted his gaze, mortified beyond saving. As a result, he caught sight of the opened and clearly used medicine box on the floor.

His expression chilled in an instant. "You saw it?"

Shi Nian followed his sight and to his surprise, her expression turned more grim than his. Jiang Jinyan had a bad feeling about this and it was proven when Shi Nian pulled out a broken shard of mirror from out of nowhere like a magician. 

The tip of the mirror was still stained with blood and Jiang Jinyan recognized it as the shard he had grabbed tightly in his palm when he stabbed his arm which aggravated the wound further.

She put down the bowl on the table, creating a loud bang which resonated with the skipping of Jiang Jinyan's heartbeat.

Shi Nian's eyes lowered as she stared at the floor, the shard of mirror was still on her hands.

The atmosphere turned gloomy and awkward in an instant.

Jiang Jinyan didn't know what she intended to do with it. Nevertheless, not even in his wildest dream would he guess that she would clench the sharp shard in her hand and stab her arm with it!

Startled, he snatched the shard of mirror away. "What are you doing?!"

It was only a small and shallow wound but blood had started to flow out of it. The crimson color on her fair skin was especially glaring to Jiang Jinyan's eyes. "Are you stupid? Hurry up and stop the bleeding!" Jiang Jinyan wanted to reach the medicine box but Shi Nian kicked it away.

"You—" His eyes widened in shock.

Her face was expressionless as she let the blood flowed between her fingers and dripped to the floor.

Jiang Jinyan caught her wrist in one swift movement and pressed on the wound, his face twisted in anger. "Have you gone insane?!"

The corner of Shi Nian's lips curled into an ugly smile, the rims of her eyes reddened as she slowly pointed her forefinger on his chest.

I am giving your words back to you. Have you gone insane?

Jiang Jinyan froze, his throat choked up abruptly. The thumb pressing on Shi Nian's wound tightened but the girl's face didn't change a bit. She stared fixedly at him as tears slid down her cheeks, silently crying. "Why?" She mouthed.

His heart trembled and there was a stinging sensation on the back of his eyes. His ferocious expression dispersed in an instant, long bangs covering his eyes. His pale lips quivered ever so slightly as he sighed. "Stupid, why did you do that? What are you coming for?" Why did you have to see me like this, he added silently.

Shi Nian's shoulders trembled as she reached behind her back for a lilac notebook that Jiang Jinyan never noticed before.

There were many pages that were already filled with scribbles and Shi Nian turned to the few latest pages. She showed it to him. [Before, you asked me what do I want by treating you so nicely, caring for you, worrying about your condition, inviting you to my house, sharing food, approaching you, always trying to get close to you.]

[I said, I just want to be good to you. But you pushed me away. Is that reason not good enough? Do you need another reason for this? Then, I will give you one. But can you please try to believe in me?]

She stared at his stunned look, confirmed that he had finished reading and slowly turned the page. [Whether it's the shining Jiang Jinyan, the fallen Jiang Jinyan, the bright Jiang Jinyan, the gloomy Jiang Jinyan, the gentle Jiang Jinyan, the harsh Jiang Jinyan, the formidable Jiang Jinyan, the fragile Jiang Jinyan, the kind Jiang Jinyan, the bad Jiang Jinyan…]

All kinds of 'Jiang Jinyans' filled the entire page and finally, Jiang Jinyan's eyes were glued to the crooked handwriting that was written on the center of the next page, like a blank heart that was laid open for him to see. He could even make out some tear stains on the paper.

[Mr. Jiang Jinyan.]

[I like you.]

"I like you."

Jiang Jinyan's head snapped up abruptly, his pupils shrunk in shock. Not because of her bold confession, but because as he read the three word sentence, a soft, gentle voice spoke of the same sentence word by word. 

It was a voice that he never heard before, and it came from the little mute girl in front of him.

Shi Nian smiled and as if realizing his doubt, repeated. "I like you," Slowly and clearly, she whispered the words which seemed to fall into his heart like a gentle rain. "Jiang Jinyan, it has always been you…"

Long, long ago, since their past lives, she had always liked him. No, to be exact she worshipped him, adored him, cherished and treasured him to the point where she felt satisfied just by looking, by knowing that he's living just fine.

However, the past Shi Nian couldn't understand such a complex emotion. Before she could grasp it clearly, General Jiang had left the world. 

How stupid. How could she just realize it now? 

Turned out, she had loved him since a lifetime ago.

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A/N: Atta girl! (´?`??) when Shi Nian took the initiative, she swept the whole scene like a nuclear bomb! And yes, her first sentence is the one she has always wanted to say!!! (????)?

Shi Nian's way of confessing: first, stab herself and then say "I like you" _(:3??)_