My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Chapter 234 - I Can't Even Hug You?

Jiang Jinyan stole a glance and was amused to see how serious her face was. He then returned his gaze to his manga, his whole body relaxing fully.The atmosphere around them slowly thawed, becoming harmonious and tranquil. 

Shi Nian read the book word by word, her heart thumping into a mess. It wasn't a very thick book, only around fifty pages and the words in every page were short and briefly elaborated. The paper had turned yellow and there were creases in the corner, even torn in some pages. Shi Nian guessed it had just been read recently because there was no dust inside. The position in which she found the book further confirmed her speculation.

The corrupt minister, traitorous prince, cheating concubine, heinous official…Shi Nian read through them one by one. On one hand, she was relieved not to find a familiar name there but on the other hand, she was disappointed for she had gone through many books to find his name to no avail.

Until a few moments later, her eyes froze on a certain page, pupils dilated in shock. 

Jia Ming'en. The loyal friend of General Jiang. 

When the latter was condemned, cursed and loathed by the whole nation, only Jia Ming'en spoke out on his behalf. As a scholar, he had to always pay attention to what he said. But when the rumors broke out about how General Jiang chose to betray the nation and forsake his soldiers in the battle, Jia Ming'en crossed the line as he criticized the Emperor for unjustly accusing his faithful vessel.

[Jia Ming'en. A scholar born in the second year of Emperor Yongwen's reign. He achieved a brilliant feat as the first rank in the Wei Dynasty's fifth Imperial Examination and received the title of 'Noble Scholar Jia' from Emperor Yongwen. Died by decapitation in public as a capital punishment for slandering the Son of Heaven. Noble Scholar Jia has sinned deeply, spouting lies, betraying the principle of how a scholar should uphold. He was suspected of being the accomplice of Traitor Jiang, the greatest sinner in the entire 32th year of Emperor Yongwen's regime.]

The tips of Shi Nian's fingers trembled as she flipped to the next page.

The name Jiang Jinyan was written in black ink in front of her very eyes. Her heart squeezed in pain as she tried to take a breath. 

He was here…Shi Nian finally found him. Not as a General, not as a hero or soldier, but as the greatest traitor down the history.

General Jiang's description was a bit longer than Scholar Jia. Shi Nian traced every word in longing, the false truth shattered her heart into smithereens.

[Jiang Jinyan. A soldier born one year before Emperor Yongwen's reign. He lived gloriously as a General, wielding great power from Emperor Yongwen to lead the troops, hailed as the beloved vessel of the Emperor and his trusted confidante. Stationed in the border against the fugitives until he was thirty eight. 

Blinded by the temptation of greed and power, he colluded with the barbarians to overthrow the throne. The conspiracy was found out by Second Prince and the latter resisted gallantly against General Jiang in the last battlefield. The barbarians were wiped out and General Jiang along with his six hundred thousand of armies, none returned victorious. Since then, the land was called Crimson Passage to commemorate the blood that spilled, staining the soil crimson and the plants withered for years.

His corpse was then thrown in the wilderness, forbidden to be visited nor worshipped. From then on, his contribution was removed and he was deemed as the most dangerous felon. Traitor Jiang became the perfect example in the royal studies about the sin of betrayal and greed.]

Shi Nian's knuckles turned white as she clenched the book so hard that the pages almost tore off. J

iang Jinyan noticed her minute reaction and surprised to see her eyes reddened, swirling with tears that refused to fall.

"What's wrong?" He asked, bringing her out of her reverie. "Is the story that sad?"

She followed the source of the voice, her expression dazed. Jiang Jinyan's inquiring face overlapped with the last gaze General Jiang offered when he brushed her hand off for the last time prior to the war. 

Shi Nian's tears slid down her cheeks and she sobbed. "General Jiang…"

Jiang Jinyan fumbled around for tissue and handed it to her, yet the girl was too emotional to respond.

"Jiang Jinyan…"

"What's wrong with you?" He sighed softly. Left with no choice, he lifted her chin and wiped her face, but it was neverending as her tears streamed down unstoppably. Jiang Jinyan was both amused and distressed. "Okay, stop crying. It's just fiction anyway."

It's not though…she denied inwardly.

Shi Nian pursed her lips and hiccupped softly yet unable to stop her tears. "What to do?" She sniffled. "I am so sad…"

"Alright, alright." Jiang Jinyan slowly brought her closer and wrapped her trembling shoulder into an embrace. "Stop crying already."

Shi Nian's head dropped to his shoulder, large droplets of tears fell onto the fabric of his clothes, dampening it before seeping onto his skin. Pain squeezed her heart in waves as she mourned for her General. Died unjustly, body left in the wilderness to rot, forbidden to be worshipped. How much had he suffered?

Jiang Jinyan's warmth engulfed her, giving off an endless sense of security which she always sought for. Shi Nian leaned closer and hugged his waist, hanging there like a koala as her cries slowly subsided. Jiang Jinyan freed a hand and reached out toward the book. "What are you reading anyway?"

"NO!" Shi Nian reacted fiercely and shoved the book away. "Don't read it!"

He was surprised but upon seeing her aggrieved expression, he relented. "Okay, okay, I won't read it." He returned to hug the girl, pushing her head onto his own shoulder. "Calm down." He patted her head softly, just like coaxing a child.

He also took her chocolate milkshake and brought the straw into her mouth. "Here, drink this first."

Shi Nian, with watery eyes and damp eyelashes, relied on him for comfort as she sucked the sweet liquid down her throat. The sweetness diluted the pain in her heart, and his presence even more so. 

"Jiang Jinyan…" She called out softly.

"Hmm?"

"You will not leave me, right?"

Jiang Jinyan paused for a moment. "…If you don't want me to, I won't."

"I don't want you to!" Shi Nian tightened her hug, as if he was going to disappear anytime soon and the fact terrified her to death.

Honestly, Jiang Jinyan couldn't comprehend what could make her react like this. He just contributed it to the tragic story the girl had read. 

Weren't all teenagers like this? Bursting hormones, mood swings, blinded by beautiful visions of love, feeling like they could make a promise to stay forever and keep it still. Jiang Jinyan never thought he was such a person. Nevertheless, he got the urge to indulge in it right now.

So be it. He thought. Anyway, I am only nineteen. Am I not a teenager too?

There was a person who loved him so in this world. How could he let her down?

Jiang Jinyan's eyes softened as he pulled away slightly to check on her. Shi Nian's emotion had stabilized albeit she was still glum and depressed. Also, she became very sticky, always wanting to stick to him. Well...not that he minded.

He tried to lighten her mood by teasing her. "Where was the girl who was so nervous that she didn't dare to sit down?"

Shi Nian pouted in response. She was embarrassed, of course. But it was nothing compared to the emotional shock she just received. She knew nothing of the event following his death because shortly after she received the news, she had hung herself. She didn't expect that he would receive the same treatment as the lowest criminal without morals, no, it was even worse than that.

Her General was so noble, righteous and sincere, such a death was too humiliating for him!

"I don't care...I can't even hug you now?" She looked up, aggrieved and pitiful. 

Who could resist Shi Nian when she blinked those round, misty golden eyes? Unquestionably, Jiang Jinyan had no way to escape from it either.

He flicked her forehead helplessly. "Rather than hugging me like that…" He parted his legs to create some space and beckoned to her. "Come here. Let me hug you instead."

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A/N: finally! Mass release is confirmed, tomorrow night 10 pm GMT+8 (5 chappies) please wait for it~~