Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 181 - Sometimes It's Fine To Rely On Others

Naoto's POV

I was feeling a bit worried because Saishi hadn't been talking to me for the last few days. The last time I talked with him was over text and that too was at night. He wasn't texting me, nor could I see him in school. Somewhere in my mind, it felt like he was growing farther from me day by day.

And the thing that was making me restless was that I didn't even know the reason behind his behaviour. Did I do something that rubbed him the wrong way? Was it because he saw me talking with Dai? Knowing him, he wouldn't really mind me talking with other boys, let alone if it's my cousin.

I was walking towards his class, since he won't come to visit me.. I'll just drag him out of his class. And of course, checking up on him was something I would do even if I wasn't dating him. There wasn't any big deal in that.

I reached his classroom door, and since it was lunchtime, many students were walking in and out from that door. I remember the last time when I came to him. I didn't really go in as I just handed him the cake at the door and got out of there.

Barging in a class and not knowing who to look for was already quite an embarrassing feeling. I came to an abrupt stop near the entrance. Not giving it any further thoughts, I stepped inside his class and walked up to the teacher's table.

I could feel the eyes of some of the curious juniors looking at me. I glanced at them for an instant, and they all resumed doing what they were. My eyes were scanning across the room to search for him, but all the monotonous uniforms were looking the same.

My eyes adjusted after a while, and I finally noticed Saishi sitting on the last bench right next to the window. His chin was resting upon his hand and he was looking outside the window with a bored expression on his face. 

A smile formed on my face that I wasn't aware of at that moment. With my eyes locked on him, I started walking towards him. He appeared to be not talking with any of his friends. He always seemed so distant from everything and everyone.

"Saishi?" I called him out in a soft voice as his eyes slightly shifted towards me and the surprise on his face was quite clear. He stared at me for a while and then said, "Senpai?" 

"Are you good?" I asked him with a hint of concern in my voice, and he kept looking at me without uttering a single word. Looking at him not answering my question, I said, "You haven't been talking with me for the last few days."

His eyes looked so cold and distant. I could easily tell that something was wrong with him, but I didn't want to offend him or something at that moment. Since the moment I've met him, it was the first time his vibes felt really different.

His eyes narrowed at me, as the dark irises were piercing through me. He moved up his head and turned towards me properly. Closing his eyes for a moment, he let out a sigh and said, "Senpai… don't worry I'm alright." 

His voice was so low, and void of emotions, it felt like I was talking to a wall. Walking a bit closer to him, I leaned in and asked with a concerned tone, "Then why haven't you been answering my texts or talking to me?"

"That…" His eyes froze for a moment, as he was about to say something, but it felt like the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth. Looking at his hesitation, I asked him, "Did I do something?"

He was the type of person who would never tell the other one that they were hurting inside. They are so used to penting up those emotions and letting go of those small moments, things like these slowly start to become meaningless for them.

He instantly shook his head from left to right and looked at my eyes with a frown on his face and continued, "Oh no no… you did nothing…"

I was in no mood to leave him alone that way. After all this time, he kept looking out for me and taking care of me. That was my time to help him. I was feeling strange in my stomach, as everything I was doing was feeling way out of character for me.

"Then…? I can tell something is wrong with you." I asked, keeping my hand on his desk and leaning closer to him. He was well aware of that by looking in my eyes, as he moved his head a bit backwards and said, "Senpai, I told you already, I'm fine. If something was to happen, I would obviously tell you."

"You're definitely not the kind of person to share his feelings with someone, let alone talk about it." I said and chuckled, as this was something I told him a few days ago and he had the same reply for me. 

"I'm… okay." He averted his eyes from me and said in a faint tone. Even he wasn't sure of whether or not he was fine. Saishi wasn't the kind of person to be indecisive about something, so it was obviously concerning me.

"Don't worry… I'm just a bit exhausted…" He said it casually, trying to sound as normal as he could, but even his poker face fell apart that day.

"See… it's okay sometimes…" I looked into his eyes, as the darkness in his eyes always used to make me feel weird, but that day they just looked really calm and empty. I cradled his hands. His bony hands twitched at my sudden touch, and I continued in a soft tone, "...to rely on others. If something is wrong, tell me…"

His hands turned the other way, and his fingers interlocked with him. I wasn't expecting him to do that, so my cheeks were feeling hot. Keeping those thoughts aside, I added, "I may not be able to help you with it. I'll stand by you till the moment it's done."