Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 180 - Saishi's Nightmares?

Lilith's POV

I passed out on the floor of Sakamaki's room. And I was having a nightmare. I didn't even remember the last time I saw that dream, let alone recalled that buried memory of mine.

That dream made all those repressed memories rise to the surface again. Things that I left behind in the past, but carried the burden for my entirety of life. Every action I took, decisions I made, was flooding back in that moment.

Even though I called it a nightmare, it was nothing more than the mere reality of my existence. I was a really disgraceful individual. To the extent that these things stopped bothering me at all. I couldn't help but feel empty when I recalled such memories.

As I woke up with blurry eyes, my vision wasn't clear, but I could see something white in front of my eyes.. As I was about to use my hand to rub my eyes, I felt a tight grip on my biceps.

My senses were still obscured, as it took me some moment to process what was happening with me. My head was resting on Sakamaki's chest as his left hand was holding me tightly. I was a bit confused as to what he was doing.

I looked up at his face, but it appeared like he was sleeping. His eyes were shut tight as he wore a distinct expression on his face. His breathing was heavy and uneven as his chest was hastening.

As I moved my head away from his chest, the faint sound of his heart beating unusually fast came to my ear. I glanced towards him and felt something really wrong. Sakamaki was looking pale and his forehead was drenched in cold sweat.

I slowly grabbed his fingers and tried to loosen up his grip, but he had no intention of letting go of me. The more I was trying, the stronger his grip was getting. I reached for his other hand, picking it up, but it appeared rather limp.

His touch was icy, and the expression on his face was clearly illustrating that he was disturbed. I assumed he was having a nightmare, so I decided to peek into his mind. But the interior of his mind was blank. It was as empty as a barren land.

I was slowly growing concerned for him, as I shook slightly to wake him up and he wasn't fazed at all. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently, but there was no response from his side.

With the index finger of my free arm, I proceeded to poke his cheeks while calling out his name as calmly as I could since humans have a weak subconscious mind, so if anything goes wrong, he will probably not wake up ever again.

At that point, the thought of losing him was floating somewhere inside my mind, and the mere thought was enough to get worked up and feel restless. The point at which he was standing, losing him to something stupid like this would be a huge trauma to me.

I don't want to lose him too.

"Saishi!"

His eyes slowly opened, as the dark orbs shifted around randomly and then stared right at me. His expression was that of utter disbelief, but I could feel a hint of relief from him, too.

He didn't say a single word except to keep staring at me, and the silence grew more with each passing second. Even though his lips were sealed, his eyes seemed to have a lot to say back then.

Those cold eyes, in which I never even saw a single glimpse of any emotion, were looking at me in pure terror. I did not know what happened to him, but it appeared as if he was just as confused as he was shocked at that moment.

His eyes shifted towards his hand, which was gripping my bicep as he appeared to contemplate for some moment before letting it go. He was acting really strange, almost as if something inside him broke suddenly. He wasn't himself.

He closed his eyes for a bit and let out a heavy breath as he stood up and his hand approached towards me. I was way too confused at that moment because he was acting like a completely distinct person.

He rested his left arm on my head and gave me an awkward look before proceeding to caress them for a moment. My eyes instantly shot up at him as he looked really relieved.

I noticed his voice box move, as he asked in his husky voice, "You like fried chicken a lot, don't you?"

I gave him a confused look and tilted my head a bit. With a frown forming upon my face, I narrowed my eyes at him and asked, "Uhh… What kind of question is that?"

He said nothing except looking at the wall with blank eyes. I felt really embarrassed as he completely ignored my question, so I just proceeded to answer him, "Yes, I do like them…"

"Hai, let me order some." With an approving head, he said, as I was getting concerned as well as confused, "Heh?"

He looked at me for a while, thinking of something to say to me. It appeared that he finally arrived at a solid reasoning as he began, "No need to be surprised, I'm hungry so I thought why not eat together."

I could tell that he was lying, even without having to read his mind. But looking at his stern expression, I knew calling him out wouldn't be the best option. Also, since he was acting strange, I asked, "Are you feeling fine?"

"Of course, do I look sick?" He narrowed his eyes at me as he started moving towards the door. I gave him an instant nod and said in a loud tone, "You do!"

His hands were on the doorknob as he turned around and looked at me with his usual bland expression and said, "I'm just tired. Let me take a shower real quick."

With that, he closed the door behind him and left the room. Something was definitely wrong with him, and his behaviour was making me even more curious about it.

He wasn't the type of guy to think about others, yet his touch felt really warm when he was caressing my hair. His eyes, which were void of any emotions, showed more feelings than what I've seen in them so far.

Either he was changing, so something was changing him.