Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 184 - Brighter Smile On Her Face

She finally looked at me, and I could tell that she was feeling nervous. With a lot of hesitation in her voice, she spoke, "I know that… but I find it hard to keep up with them."

Of course, what was holding her back was her own mindset. Shaking my head in disapproval, and started, "That's because you think like that already. I know you can adapt to any situation, but if you don't try yourself, then I guess it can't happen."

Of course, I had to add the last part because people are more likely to do something when others close to them have hopes for them. She looked troubled, as she remained silent for some time before asking, "You think so?"

Leaning off the wall, I walked up to the front of my desk and keeping my arm on the desk, I leaned towards her and started speaking, "Of course, I really like the fact that you did some introspection and tried to change yourself even though you just said that you don't change…"

She moved her a bit backwards as she kept listening to me and after what seemed like she was going over what I said, a wry smile formed on her face and she said hesitantly, "I… yes contradicted myself."

Her eyes instantly looked away, probably from the embarrassment and her cheeks flushed up with a tint of pink. Strands of hair were falling in front of her face as she tucked them behind her ear.

After looking at her intently for a few moments, I couldn't help but realise how cute she was looking. Even though she was a year older than me, she appeared quite cute when she was embarrassed. 

  "You're cute." I said and her head instantly turned towards me and asked restlessly, "Huh? Where did that come from?"

Though I knew she was trying her best to change, at that moment I had no other options than pointing something out. If this was a normal situation, I wouldn't have said that, but I was a slave to my circumstances.

"But Senpai, your method of changing is weird…" I said in a bitter voice and, being confused by my sudden change of composure, she asked, "What?"

"I mean, ignoring your problems won't make them go away, you know?" I said and by the expression on her face, I could tell that even she was subconsciously aware of her coping mechanism. Though it was an unhealthy way to deal with things.

Hesitantly, she looked up at me and said after a bit of pause, "I don't ignore my problems…"

I could sense that even she wasn't sure about what she was saying at that moment. And since I was getting assertive from my side, I nodded my head slightly and said in a low voice, "You do. Running away from them won't make them go away."

I was obviously not trying to scold her or lecture her like a boomer. As a friend, or rather as a boyfriend, I was trying to help her. She seemed to be listening to me carefully, yet it appeared like her mind was a mess of thoughts inside, as I continued, "At one point another, you'll find yourself at a dead end. So it's better to confront them."

"I'm not ignoring them, but I'll slowly get over them. It's just been a few days…" After I stopped talking there was a brief period of silence between us before she said that and I nodded, "Of course I'm not telling you to hurry things up or do them forcefully… take your time…"

I wasn't trying to demotivate her, rather the conversation between us was really delicate considering how vulnerable Naoto becomes when her weaknesses are exposed.

"But keep in mind what you're striving for." I smiled and added, "People often feed themselves the lie that time heals everything, but it doesn't. It is not taken care of at the right time, it leaves a scar."

Though what I said at that moment was something serious, without a hint of a lie in them. She stared at me with a surprised look and said hesitantly, "You… seem to have experienced the things you're saying…"

Yet her eyes again shifted towards the desk as her head moved down. She was confused, anxious, nervous and I don't know what else she was feeling at that moment. 

My hands slowly approached her head, as I caressed her hair gently while patting her I said, "Not really, I'm just looking out for you." 

She slowly looked up at me with a face that couldn't even show the thousands of emotions she was feeling at that moment. Her wide eyes were staring at me with a hint of confusion as I added, "I don't want you to lose the smile that you are wearing now."

"Wha…" She was flustered as she couldn't find the right set words. I chuckled and said, "You look a lot brighter than before, maybe because I'm dating you. That's why I find you more cute, but it's just my honest feelings…"

Moving her head away from my hand, she averted her eyes and, with a pout on her face, commented, "Uh… Jeez… you're such a smooth talker."

Looking at downcasted expression, I comforted her a bit. Probably changes, she referred to the thing we had between us but that too was bound to change with time. Probably a few more weeks she won't even remember who I was. 

"But don't worry, even though I might change, you'll always remain my Senpai." I looked at her with a soft smile on my face as her eyes met mine with an awkward smile, she said, "So… I guess some things never change…"

"The fact you're Senpai will always remain the same." Her expression softened often a little as I said that and chuckled slightly. She looked at me with a pout and turned her head the other way. 

I also appreciated the fact that she was genuinely concerned about me. Sighing out a heavy breath of air, I said, "Don't be so worried about me Senpai, it's just my face that I always appear to be pissed or depressed."

"Hey! That's not true at all, I think you're cu… it's alright." Her face flustered up as it felt like she said something out of the line. Being curious about that, I asked "What?"

"Nothing!!", was the answer I got as the lunchtime also got over soon and she left all grumpy.