The Returner

Chapter 64: Eii, it’s not gonna bite, you know? (4)

Chapter 64: Eii, it’s not gonna bite, you know? (4)

TL: This extra chapter is brought to you by: Kaung T.W.N. (my bad if I got the name wrong! Sorry!) and Jan B. (who didn’t specify which novel he’s sponsoring, so I’m assuming it’s for the Returner. If not, please let me know.) Thank you for your support!

“Well, not doing much, I guess?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk was unrepentantly honest.

The only things he did were playing video games, and reading web novels while lounging around the whole day, so of course there wasn’t anything particularly important he was doing. So, he wasn’t lying here!

Yi Ji-Hyuk remained truly shameless!

“Are you trying to make fun of me or something?” (?)

The blonde man promptly stood right back up and glared at Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“Huh. You’re unexpectedly good-looking, aren’t you.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Oh, hehe. Thank you, thank y... What the!! That’s not it!!” (?)

This blonde guy’s good looks was of a different flavour compared to that of Choi Jung-Hoon’s own good looks. You could call Choi Jung-Hoon’s face as more of masculine handsome-ness, while this blonde dude was more of a ‘pretty boy’ type.

‘Wait a minute. Now that I think about it, do these NDF people pick their agents based solely on the looks alone?’ (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Pretty much everyone working here – those Yi Ji-Hyuk had run into, even those he saw while passing by – were all irritatingly good looking.

If you wanted to get a bit technical here, then to regular people, Seo Ah-Young would be seen as a true drop-dead stunner that most eyes would instinctively chase after. Let’s not forget, even Choi Jung-Hoon himself was a good looking man, and then, there was Jeong Hae-Min who also happened to be an idol....

Suddenly, Yi Ji-Hyuk began trembling after realising something rather important.

He had finally realised that, as long as he had to accompany these good looking people, wouldn’t others think of him as an unsightly dried up squid in comparison?!

Wait! Wherever he went, people were always looking at him with a funny sideways glance!!

Finally, he figured out why!!

After belatedly figuring out the method to regaining his pride as a human being, Yi Ji-Hyuk stared at the blonde guy, his eyes cocked in a crooked fashion.

“So, who are you supposed to be?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The blonde guy swept back his hair and spoke.

“I’m the Path Drifter, Kim Dah-Hyun. I’ll be cooperating with the NDF from today onwards.” (TL: the name “Path Drifter” is from the author, not me. He actually wrote that in English....)

“A pad-ripper?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That’s not iiiitttttt!!!!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Yi Ji-Hyuk hurriedly covered his ears.

What the hell is up with this dude? If it’s not, it’s not, so why all this screaming? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Kim Dah-Hyun’s face reddened up in anger as he continued to shout at Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“Hey, man! Don’t you know who I am?!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Nope. No clue.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What the hell! How can someone related to this field of work don’t know who I am?!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“I’m not related to this field of work, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Then, why are you even here?!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“I came to feed the dog.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“............”

The blonde dude alternated his gaze between Yi Ji-Hyuk and Choi Jung-Hoon – for the former, it was the glare full of hostility, and for the latter, a stare full of question marks.

Choi Jung-Hoon assumed a bitter smile and tried to explain.

“This is mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, your colleague starting from today. Mister Ji-Hyuk, this is the famous Path Drifter, mister Kim Dah-Hyun.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Really sounds like a pad-ripper to me....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I said, that’s not iiiiittttt!!!!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Kim Dah-Hyun gritted his teeth in anguish.

“Hey you.” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Yeah?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You, you’re an ability user, right?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“I’m not.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ohh, really now?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

While listening to this riveting conversation unfold, Choi Jung-Hoon fell ever deeper into the quagmire of bitterness. Why did his workplace attract these sorts of.... weird characters, only?

“Okay, doesn’t matter if you’re a user or not.... No, wait! That’s not it! Hey, if you’re not a user, how the heck can you even keep that abnormal thing as a pet?! You tryin’ to make fun of me?!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“No, I’m not trying to do that, but....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Kim Dah-Hyun rolled up his sleeves and confronted Yi Ji-Hyuk.

“You wanna have a go at me, is that it? You going to compensate for my pants? You say you’re the dog’s owner, so you better cough up for a new one!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Sure, I’m nominally the owner, but I don’t have the ownership, so why don’t you directly ask the one at fault?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Directly? To who?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Weren’t you looking at him just now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Kim Dah-Hyun’s eyes drifted towards Oh-Sik the Ogre. The “animal’s” head was buried deep inside the bag of pet food.

“What the, you taking a p*ss or what?! You better choose! Pay for the pants and apologise, or don’t even plan to walk back to your little home, got that!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Not walking? Then, should I fly, instead?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What? This mother effing a*shole!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

It was then, Yi Ji-Hyuk began tilting his head slightly.

As he kept on listening to this c**p, he was getting this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Hang on a minute.... Uh? Hey, are you trying to pick a fight with me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“That’s right! I am, so what are you going to do about that?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

A bitter chuckle escaped from Yi Ji-Hyuk’s mouth.

Right. Indeed, this was how to get up on someone’s grille and all that.

Always, it was Yi Ji-Hyuk who had initiated the conflict. But the truth was, he hadn’t been on the receiving end of a naked attempt to p*ss him off for so long, he had actually forgotten what it felt like. Until now.

People start fighting like this, don’t they? Right, this is how it starts.

In that case....

So.... hmm. What did I do back then to the fools trying to p*ss me off, I wonder?

After I gained some power, I used to beat the living daylights out of the suckers until they were almost dead, didn’t I?

And then, well, I grew bored doing that, so I just opened up a warp gate to the demon world and threw the idiots in there....

....Then, uh, hmm. No one else tried to pick a fight with me afterwards.

Okay, so, how should I deal with this idiot, then?

Yi Ji-Hyuk slowly shifted his gaze towards Oh-Sik, still busy munching on the pet food.

“Hey, Oh-Sik-ah.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Keureuk?

Oh-Sik pulled his head out from the bag, and looked at Yi Ji-Hyuk.

‘He’s learned what his name is already, huh.’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon couldn’t help but feel quite proud and at the same time, a bit sad, after witnessing this display of Oh-Sik being a smart boy.

Just how smart was he to recognise his name in such a short amount of time, but how scared must it be for an Ogre to act like that?

Utterly disregarding whatever Choi Jung-Hoon was thinking at the moment, Yi Ji-Hyuk gestured Oh-Sik to come closer, and when the mini Ogre got near, the youth lightly patted the monster’s head. And then, he pointed at Kim Dah-Hyun and gave out a single command.

“Sic him, boy!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Groooowl!!

With his words as the signal, the Ogre pounced with all his might at Kim Dah-Hyun.

“Uwaaaaaaah!!!”

Kim Dah-Hyun’s face lost all semblance of colour and he retreated like a bolt of lightning.

“Ohh? He’s pretty fast, isn’t he?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Too bad for the blonde idiot, though. That was just about it – an Ogre was the type of a monster that would never give up chasing its prey, even if that meant crossing the gates of the Hades itself.

As long as the target couldn’t erase his own smell, the only thing one could do was a physical battle of attrition.

“And an Ogre is a fast creature, too.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

You see, an Ogre might be huge, but it was never a slow monster to begin with.

Kim Dah-Hyun screamed out in terror while running for his dear life, with Oh-Sik’s bared fangs only a few inches away from his butt.

“What the hell are you doing?! You crazy motherf*ckerrrrrrrr.....!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Yi Ji-Hyuk cackled in satisfaction as he watched this spectacle unfold.

Unless Oh-Sik punctured a couple of holes large enough to breathe through in that blonde man’s a*s, it would....

Huh? Holes in the butt?

Wait a minute. If an Ogre bites you, then instead of holes, the whole butt might get ripped off clean, no....? In that case, that guy might end up dying.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Hey, Oh-Sik-ah. Stop, and come over here. Here.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Growl~....

Oh-Sik stopped chasing after his target and returned to Yi Ji-Hyuk’s side as he licked his lips.

‘What on earth? How can that creature understand his commands so well?’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Maybe, that Ogre was a lot smarter than some people?

Yi Ji-Hyuk patted Oh-Sik’s head, and the mini Ogre whimpered and began licking the youth’s hand.

‘It’s been completely transformed into a dog. A bloody dog...’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Yup, there was no way you could say that thing was an Ogre anymore. It was definitely more of a dog now.

No, hang on a minute – shouldn’t it be far more correct to fear the man responsible for turning an Ogre into a pseudo-dog instead? The man named Yi Ji-Hyuk?

While recognising the scary presence of Yi Ji-Hyuk once more, Choi Jung-Hoon tried to come up with a way to resolve this situation. But before he could, Kim Dah-Hyun angrily shouted out towards the youth with a pair of bloodshot eyes.

“Heyyy, you punk!! What the hell are you trying to achieve here?!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Punk?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head again. See, the thing was, he was quite an old man by now. Well, he was very, very, very old in truth, so.... Wasn’t his situation a bit too unique to be called a punk, no?

After all, the word ‘punk’ would normally be used to denote a youngster.

But, if that wasn’t the case....

“Hmm. So you were insulting me.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yup, it was an insult.

An insult.

Mm, so actually.... He just swore at me... Then, I should.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk suddenly smiled refreshingly, walked closer to Kim Dah-Hyun, and put his arm around the blonde man’s shoulders in a rather friendly manner.

“What now?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Will you come over here for a sec?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What? What the hell?! Why is this punk trying to act so friendly and sh*t?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Oh, c’mon now. Just for a sec, okay?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

While watching Yi Ji-Hyuk drag Kim Dah-Hyun to a dark, empty corner well away from the eyes of other witnesses, all Choi Jung-Hoon could do was to cross his heart, gather his hands in front of his heart and begin praying.

‘Please, return to us still alive.’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

....That was all he could do for the poor blonde guy.

*

A short while later.

“Eeim weallie sowwie....” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Speak in Korean, will you, In Korean!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Im rearry sowry....” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Apologies were continuously pouring out from the bursted lips of Kim Dah-Hyun, his once-pretty face now all puffed up and swollen from the beating he just received.

“I can’t hear you. What were you saying?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Im rearry sowrryyyy~.” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“I can’t hear youuuu~.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Choi Jung-Hoon quivered uncomfortably from the sensation of goosebumps breaking out on his back.

What a devil.

How could he ruin such a good-looking face until it was all swollen and unsightly like that?!

Choi Jung-Hoon suspected that, even after the swelling had went away, there was no chance that the blonde man’s face would regain its former glamour.

What was even more scary than that, though.... the rest of the blonde guy’s body was completely uninjured. Except for his face!!!!

In other words, Yi Ji-Hyuk deliberately only targeted his face....

Why would he go and do something so terrifying?! Just why!!!

“Whatever. All the good-looking people are rude b*stards, anyways. Hey, speak up! Now that you look like dirt, I’m sure some manners have been instilled in you, am I right?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yup, one should try to live one’s life with some manners.

Choi Jung-Hoon hurriedly searched through his memories to make sure he hadn’t misplaced his manners somewhere. But as he did this, he realised that he had been speaking to the youth a bit more rudely than before, since they got so close in the last couple of months or so.

Choi Jung-Hoon tightened his laxing mentality, thanking the heavens that he caught onto his mistake before it was too late, and then, tried to calm Yi Ji-Hyuk down.

“Haha, ha.... Uhm, mister Yi Ji-Hyuk? How about letting him go now?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Argh, dang it.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk finally let go of Kim Dah-Hyun’s collars and dusted his hands.

“What the? I thought you only gathered the so-called elites here. But look at this guy! Why does he lack fighting spirit this badly? I didn’t even get to beat him up that good either, you know!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk, an average person would’ve died after getting beaten up like that.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“But, he’s still alive, isn’t he?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Well, he’s an ability user, after all. He has a greater endurance, that’s all.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“Tsk, tsk. So weak, and yet you want to kill monsters?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The blonde guy, who was one of the very few grade 7 ability users found in Korea, was being treated like a weakling.

Choi Jung-Hoon groaned under his breath.

Now normally, the situation should’ve been like Kim Dah-Hyun relentlessly forcing Yi Ji-Hyuk into a corner before getting his a*s handed back to him, which might have been more palatable in a sense. But since the blonde guy got turned into an unrecognisable mess of swollen flesh before he even got to do anything, all Choi Jung-Hoon could feel was pity.

“I’m really sowrie...” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Kim Dah-Hyun finally began sounding like a normal person. Choi Jung-Hoon lightly tapped on his shoulder and whispered.

“Shouldn’t you go to a hospital soon?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“P, plastic surgery...?” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Yes, that’s right. You’ll be fine after getting all fixed up. I’m sure you’ll regain your former looks when you go there to get help. So, don’t give up! Fighting!” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon did his best to swallow back down the rising flood of tears, and continued on.

“Besides, I sent out a notice that said to never get involved with a man named Yi Ji-Hyuk.... didn’t you receive it?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“I did receive it, but...” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“But?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

“I didn’t read it....” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“.............”

Uhm... Should I pin the notice at the front entrance, then?

“Beware of the dog!”

“Beware of Yi Ji-Hyuk!”

“Especially so, when Yi Ji-Hyuk is with his dog!”

No, hang on. This isn’t a joke, is it? It’s far more serious than that!

I mean, more and more high-class ability users will show up for work here, those invaluable and priceless folks, yet if they keep picking fights with Yi Ji-Hyuk like today, then.... We might have to bury every single ability user in the entire Korean peninsula because they’re all dead!! (Choi Jung-Hoon’s inner monologue)

Something seemed a bit off here, though.

Sure, Kim Dah-Hyun did swear at the youth, but it was actually the duo of Seo Ah-Young and Choi Jung-Hoon who’d have inconvenienced Yi Ji-Hyuk much, much more. Yet...

‘Why didn’t we get beaten up?’ (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Especially considering that personality of his?

Choi Jung-Hoon thanked the lucky star for this bit of fortune once more. After all, a powerless normal person like him getting beaten up wouldn’t just end with him seeking out treatment from a plastic surgeon.

“By the way, why did this a*sho.... no, wait. Why did this guy come here today?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I told you that other high ranking ability users would start showing up one by one, didn’t I?” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Choi Jung-Hoon couldn’t tell whether the youth was smart or not. Even after he’d mention some important things, Yi Ji-Hyuk didn’t seem to remember them all that well.

“You sayin’, he’s a high ranked user?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

If you were asked to pick something to say that would prove to be most hurtful in a situation like this, then Yi Ji-Hyuk’s would perfectly fit the bill.

Kim Dah-Hyun, still managing to stand upright somehow, crumpled to the floor and began bawling his eyes out in pure sorrow.

*SFX for a grown man crying like a little kid*

“Argh, dang it!! You’re noisy! Shut up!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

*SFX for a sudden and immediate stop to the proceedings*

Completely struck numb with terror, Kim Dah-Hyun stopped crying and began trembling like a leaf.

And just as Yi Ji-Hyuk was wondering if there was something else he could rake Kim Dah-Hyun over with, he heard a loud calling from behind him.

“Oppa!!”

“Hul.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

How could he hear that voice here, of all places?

When Yi Ji-Hyuk turned around, he spotted Kim Dah-Som standing there, her jaw nearly hitting the ground.

Did she say “Oppa”? Was she referring to me? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Kim Dah-Som hurriedly ran to where they were, and knelt down next to Kim Dah-Hyun, still crumpled to the floor.

“Oppa? What happened to you?!” (Kim Dah-Som)

“D, Dah-Som-ah!! Sobbbb~~” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

They were siblings?

Oh, so that’s why he was such a good looking a*shole.

Since the younger sister is a beauty, obviously her older brother would be handsome, too.

However, blood is indeed thicker than water, huh. She can still recognise him even though he looks like that now. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk nodded his head while thinking to himself how great the Kim family’s genes were. Meanwhile, Kim Dah-Hyun grabbed onto his younger sister and was in the middle of crying his eyes out.

“Dah-Som-aaaahhhhh~~!!” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“Who dares to hurt you?! Oppa, just who was it!!” (Kim Dah-Som)

When Kim Dah-Som spat out those words in a very icy voice, even Yi Ji-Hyuk ended up flinching, and he sneakily took a step or two backwards.

“It was....” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

Kim Dah-Hyun then sneakily pointed his finger at none other than Yi Ji-Hyuk.

He counted on the fact that, as long as Yi Ji-Hyuk had some morals, he wouldn’t hit a girl. Without a doubt, in a situation like this, the only person capable of dealing with that detestable human being was Kim Dah-Hyun’s little sister!

Besides, wasn’t his sister a stunner?

There was just no way any men would mount a defense against her!

“...You mean, him?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Yeah.” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“You two, did you fight?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Yeah.” (Kim Dah-Hyun)

“With this person?” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Ng.”

It was then.

Kim Dah-Som’s kick squarely landed on the unprotected waist of still-crumpled Kim Dah-Hyun with vengeance.

*SFX for something breaking*

Accompanied by the loud sound of bones breaking, Kim Dah-Hyun collapsed to the floor, totally unable to even scream out in pain.

Even Yi Ji-Hyuk became utterly speechless by this development and stared at the siblings in a pure shock.

Kim Dah-Som lightly spun around, fixed her hair, and while facing Yi Ji-Hyuk, bowed her waist.

“My Oppa ended up inconveniencing you. I’m very sorry.” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Oh, uhh....”

“He still hasn’t matured yet. That’s why, please, be gracious and forgive him. I’ll definitely speak earnestly to him regarding this matter right away.” (Kim Dah-Som)

“Oh, uhh....”

As soon as she said her piece, she grabbed Kim Dah-Hyun on the floor with both of her hands, and with an almighty struggle, began dragging him away.

“Oh, uhh....”

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s mouth remained open as he looked at the siblings getting further away. Then he slowly hugged himself.

“Not one person around me is normal. I’m telling you, not even one....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

What kind of despicable crimes did he commit in his past life, for him to be cursed with such odd characters in this one?

Oh, dear lord....

< 64. Eii, I’m sure it’s not gonna bite -4 > Fin.