The Returner

Chapter 65: Eii, it’s not gonna bite, you know? (5)

Chapter 65: Eii, it’s not gonna bite, you know? (5)

“Ha-ah....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

At the moment, Yi Ji-Hyuk was bored out of his skull.

He had grown sick and tired of playing computer games the whole day. It was natural, really; he couldn’t even remember the number of months he wasted playing the same game.

You’d eventually grow bored of even the most extravagant feast, if you kept eating that every single day. So, it was inevitable that the game he enjoyed so much would grow stale and uninspiring now.

“Eh-whew.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

However, trying to read webnovels brought along its own kind of irritation, too.

How was it even remotely possible, that not one single new chapter for all the novels he’d favourited got uploaded in the last 24 hours?

Yes, sure, he did his best to maximise his sleeping time, played games, read novels, played games some more, and then read novels some more again, but still! This just couldn’t be!

If you were an author looking to make some money, wouldn’t you try to upload as many chapters as humanly possible?

“Man, I’m trying to spend money here, yet, how is this even possible?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shut the internet browser off and let out a long groan.

He needed something fun to do!

Something interesting!

His brain that nearly went comatose from a millennium spent in Berafe, had re-awakened and re-energised after his return to this side, and as a result, the unavoidable feeling of boredom was assaulting him in full force.

“Hey, you!” (Yi Ye-Won)

“What now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shifted his lazy gaze over to Yi Ye-Won as she entered his room.

Ye-Won took a glance at the darkened computer monitor as soon as she stepped inside, and then smirked derisively.

“You were looking at porn, weren’t you?” (Ye-Won)

“You must’ve lost what little sanity you had left.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“There’s no freaking way you’d be not playing a game or reading webnovels, unless it’s that. Hah, aren’t you surprisingly ‘fast reacting’?” (Ye-Won)

Haaaaa-ahhhhh....

If she wasn’t my little sister, I’d have beaten her up just like that blonde idiot from yesterday....

No, hang on a minute. Maybe I can slap her around once or twice? Hmm. (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

With half a mind to carry out his plan, Yi Ji-Hyuk took a long look at Ye-Won, but he had to promptly abandon it as soon as he picked up on the ever-present forcefield of mom, emanating from behind his sister.

You see, fixing the rotten attitude of Ye-Won wouldn’t be all that difficult, but surviving mom’s fearsome hands afterwards would be a challenge too tough to overcome, even for him.

“Stop with your nonsense and get out of my room, will ya? I might end up kicking you or something.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Ah? You want to hit a girl? You’re such a barbaric caveman.” (Ye-Won)

Hitting a girl makes you a barbaric caveman, huh?

Maybe I should just throw her into the wilds of Berafe?

I’m getting kinda curious here – just what would she say after checking out those “girls” capable of ripping grown men apart with their bare hands? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Actually, the majority of the most powerful beings found in Berafe were females of their species. He had no idea why – maybe the flow of the events just happened like that, maybe the female bodies had higher proficiency when it came to wielding Mana, whatever.

Well, he didn’t really care about other people’s business to find out about the cause, so there was that.

“So, what do you want now? Speak up.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You go to work in that place nowadays, right?” (Ye-Won)

“That place? You mean, the NDF?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yeah.” (Ye-Won)

“Hey, you. You asking me about that only now? Don’t you know how long I’ve been working for them already? Did you forget how to use those eyes of yours or something?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What the. Then why do I always see you lazing around the house?” (Ye-Won)

Eh?

What she said wasn’t a lie, was it?

I went to work for, what, two days at most? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Okay, fine. I work there. So what?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Can’t I go with you when you go to work, like, next time?” (Ye-Won)

“You think it’s a theme park over there? You dare to step into the sacred workplace of your dear older brother? Stop dreaming, and focus on your studies, instead!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Just this once, please? Just once!” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ji-Hyuk frowned ever so slightly.

He wasn’t a dummy who couldn’t figure out why his little sister was acting this way all of a sudden.

She simply wanted to clap her eyes on Choi Jung-Hoon one more time. That was it. Wasn’t that the sole reason why she had dyed her hair back to normal and cosplaying as a demure schoolgirl?

“Kiddo, you should pick an appropriate target based on your abilities before making a move.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“What? What are you trying to say about me now?” (Ye-Won)

“Oh, should I put my thoughts into words? Really? Will it really be okay for the tenuous link of brother and sister between us to be utterly destroyed by the words of truth I say?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Argh!! Why don’t you go and jump in the lake or something already!!” (Ye-Won)

While watching his sister storm out of his room after spitting out some un-demure curses, Yi Ji-Hyuk slowly facepalmed.

Aigoo, my aching head...

Siblings in many movies I’ve watched in my life all enjoy such wonderful relationships, yet why did someone like her have to my little sister? Why?

Yeah, I gotta find a way to re-educate her personality without getting found out by mom, somehow.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Hey, you!” (Ye-Won)

“If you call your dear older brother with ‘hey, you’ one more time, I’ll take that as you not liking your tongue anymore and want it to be cut in half. Okay?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Come outside. You got a visitor.” (Ye-Won)

“A visitor? Really?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mom said you have one, so come out and say hi.” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head slightly and emerged from his room. There shouldn’t be anyone coming to visit him, though.

When he got to the living room, he spotted the visitor entering through the front door.

“Uh?”

Yi Ji-Hyuk confirmed who it was, and tilted his head again.

“What are you doing here, little girl?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hey, I told you I’m older than you! Address me with proper honorifics!!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Hah, calling a shorty like you noona? No way.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk) (TL: “Noona” means older sister, used to call an older female by younger male.)

Well, he had lived thousand years longer than her, so there.

The one to come and ‘visit’ him was none other than Jeong Hae-Min.

“What now?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Mister Choi Jung-Hoon asked me to come and get you.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Me? Why?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Dunno. Let’s go!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

Yi Ji-Hyuk straightened his back and spoke.

“I’m in the middle of my holiday, so not going!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“You promised to show up when you’re needed, didn’t you? (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Well, I decide when I’m needed, so I’m not going!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“He told me to definitely bring you there! Don’t you know that I didn’t even want to come here in the first place? I don’t want the hassle, so just come quietly, already! I’m too busy for this, you know!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“You’re too busy for this? Why? Don’t you have more free time than everyone else?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Hey, I am really busy, you know! Like, really, really busy!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Don’t make me laugh, will you?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Just how many people out there could understand what a convenient ability the teleportation was, as much as Yi Ji-Hyuk here?

By removing the time needed to move from one place to another, you’d end up feeling like your day had become twice as long.

“B, by the way....” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ye-Won, standing to the side, began tilting her head this way and that.

Her expression seemed a bit unsure of something.

“Aren’t you Jeong Hae-Min unni from the S Girls?” (Ye-Won) (TL: “unni” means “older sister”. Used by younger females to address older females.)

Right away, Jeong Hae-Min’s expression brightened like a blooming flower. This change was so abrupt, even Yi Ji-Hyuk couldn’t help but flinch in surprise.

“Yes, I am.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Ohhhh myyyy goshhhh!! Unni~~!! Is this really happening right now?! A member of S Girls is in my house?! What should I do?! Right!! P, please, can I have your autograph? This, over here, on this one!!” (Ye-Won)

“Get out of my way!! Oh my gosh, Miss Hae-Min! Welcome to our humble abode! Would you like something to refresh yourself with? Why don’t we have a relaxing chat over a cool and energising drink?” (mom)

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s own expression gradually crumpled as he watched the mother and daughter duo put on a show.

“What’s the matter with you two? What’s up with all the fuss?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Don’t you know who S Girls are?” (Ye-Won)

“Just let him be. He doesn’t know anything, anyway.” (mom)

The combined assault from the mother and daughter duo successfully sucker punched Yi Ji-Hyuk in the heart.

And then, three female folks proceeded to completely ignore Yi Ji-Hyuk’s presence altogether, and began to kyah~ kyah~ while yapping on and on about some incomprehensible girl talk.

Right after that, Jeong Hae-Min began signing autographs over just about everything, as if she was planning to paint the walls of the house with a marking pen or something.

And she said she was too busy just now!

What an abominable little thing she was!

At this rate, she might as well make her bed here and lie in it!

“Weren’t you supposed to be busy?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Nope, not busy at all.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“You said you are a really busy person, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I always have enough time to sign autographs!!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

What a professional she was, too.

....But, seriously now, was she really a famous celeb?

Yi Ji-Hyuk tilted his head, still not convinced.

If he took into account the reactions of his mom and sister, then she must’ve been one....

Well, people’s tastes could be so odd sometimes. What was good and wonderful about this shorty that made others suck up like that?

“Your new title track was so good!” (mom)

“Thank you so much. We really worked hard on the song.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Unni, you looked so good in the music video! But now that I’ve seen you in real life, you are at least ten times more prettier. No, wait! Forget ten, it’s like a hundred times!” (Ye-Won)

“Eiii~~. That’s not likely~~. Ohohoho.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

Ohohoho, my a*s!

A human being would never laugh like that, you know!

What an abominable little.... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Hey, didn’t you say I’m being summoned?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Argh, step aside for a moment, will you? We can stay here for a bit longer!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

....Huh. Okay, so. What should I call this illness, then? Was it, ‘addicted to compliments’ syndrome?

Whatever, even this girl.... Doesn’t it look like she needs to see a shrink, too?

I heard somewhere that it’s difficult for a modern person to find psychological stability and peace of mind in the current world, but hell, how come it’s so darn impossible to find one normal person around me?! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner complaint)

“Urgent.” (Doh Gah-Yun)

“Ahhh!! What the hell?! Hey, you!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk cried out in shock and turned around in fright. And he found Doh Gah-Yun standing there with an expressionless face.

“You, can’t you at least let others know you’ve arrived?! Am I asking for too much here?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Doh Gah-Yun decisively ignored his plea and simply said what she came here for, not one hint of emotion showing up on her face.

“Request for aid, from the HQ. Urgent return, recommended.” (Gah-Yun)

“What the hell. Hey, this is...” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Just as he was about to put up another fierce resistance, Yi Ji-Hyuk stopped and tilted his head. He saw a rather familiar-looking fabric wrapped around Gah-Yun’s hand.

“What is that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“......”

Hey, didn’t I see that thing before?

Huh?

That.... isn’t that from my tracksuit no. 1?

At that time, the Gate opened up in front of the apartment, and the suit got all torn up....

Oh, right. That’s why it was torn up.

Hmm. Seeing how clean it looks from here, she probably didn’t leave it on until now. Did she wash it and wrap it around her hand again? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner contemplation)

“Why do you still use that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Doh Gah-Yun slightly averted her gaze for some reason.

What the, what’s up with that reaction? (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

“Bandages. Highly effective.” (Gah-Yun)

“It’s not because you don’t have enough cash, though?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“................”

I had no idea there was yet another sad, exploited soul beside me. To think, she doesn’t even have enough money to buy herself a proper bandages and had to resort to using the torn up tracksuit, instead... (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Steam began clouding up his vision out of the blue.

“I can lend you enough moolah to buy bandages, so just tell me in the future, okay?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

The guy whose bank account was bursting at the seams from all that cash, only told her he’d lend her some, not give her. After realising how petty Yi Ji-Hyuk could be, Doh Gah-Yun let out a soft groan.

“No time for nonsense. Must leave.” (Gah-Yun)

“But, I really gotta?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Definitely.” (Gah-Yun)

Yi Ji-Hyuk shrugged his shoulders, and returned to his room to pick up some clothes to change into.

“Ohh. Son, are you planning to go to work?” (mom)

“Well, there’s nothing for me to do here anyway, and if I do show up, they’ll give me an extra off day, so might as well, mom.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Watching you keep yourself busy like this, really makes me very happy, you know.” (mom)

“Hahaha.... Well, I....” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Before he could finish, Yi Ye-Won interrupted him with an unhappy face.

“You’ve been playing around for the past ten days straight, so your a*s must be on fire by now.” (Ye-Won)

“....You, you wanna come outside with me for a minute or two?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“I don’t wanna~.” (Ye-Won)

Ye-Won quickly hid behind her mother and stuck her tongue out.

Hah!

So adorable!

She’s so, so adorable, I’d really love to bite her to death! (Yi Ji-Hyuk’s inner monologue)

Yi Ji-Hyuk gritted his teeth in anguish, and then, shouted at Jeong Hae-Min.

“Hey, Miss Shuttle, let’s get going!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Just who the heck is a shuttle?! Just who?!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Oh, you don’t like that? Then, how about Miss Bus? Or, Miss Taxi?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“....I’ll stick with shuttle.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“You should’ve done that earlier.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk walked over to her and without a warning, grabbed her hand.

“Hey? What the?!” (Jeong Hae-Min)

With a reddened face, she yanked her hand out.

“What now? Wasn’t I supposed to hold your hand for your ability to work?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Yeah, you are right about that.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

“Then, what’s the matter? You planning to go alone?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“No, that’s not it.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

Jeong Hae-Min used her hand as a fan to cool her reddened face. During the previous teleportation, the connection was made through other people so she didn’t have to hold Yi Ji-Hyuk’s hand directly at all. But now that she had to hold it, she kind of felt rather awkward here.

“I’ll be the one to grab your hand, okay? Me.” (Jeong Hae-Min)

She squeezed her eyes shut, and hurriedly grabbed his hand. She let out a small sigh, opened her eyes, and then also proceeded to grab Doh Gah-Yun’s hand as well.

“Well then, we’ll be on our way now.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Pardon?” (mom)

Leaving behind the confused duo of a mother and daughter behind, the trio vanished right before their eyes.

“Oh my!!” (mom)

“That was teleportation! So cool!” (Ye-Won)

As Yi Ye-Won stood there, totally submerged in excitement, mom suddenly spoke up.

“Ye-Won?” (mom)

“Ng, mom?” (Ye-Won)

“Those three.... Didn’t you think the mood between them was rather nice?” (mom)

To think, he was surrounded by such beauties.

Mom couldn’t help but feel a bit chuffed, perhaps believing that the spring of her son’s youth had finally arrived.

“The mood? Hah!” (Ye-Won)

Yi Ye-Won spat out a short, sharp snort, and rebutted her mom.

“Mom. Here’s the thing. Let’s say that you’re single.” (Ye-Won)

“Uhm, okay?” (mom)

“You think you’ll go out with a guy like him?” (Ye-Won)

“........................”

Nope.

She didn’t want to.

She was so against the idea, her entire body involuntarily shuddered from the horror.

“....Indeed, it’s just the mood that seemed to be going somewhere. Nothing else.” (mom)

“Even if the sky falls, it’s not going to happen, so don’t get your hopes up, mom.” (Ye-Won)

“Is this the end of the Yi family bloodline, I wonder.” (mom)

Dear ancestors, I beg for your forgiveness for giving a birth to a son like that. (mom’s inner monologue)

Coming down with a certain hopeless sense of guilt, Park Seon-Duk walked towards the kitchen, her shoulders slumped forward.

“Mom, can’t we, like, go and visit that place later?” (Ye-Won)

“You wanna die?!” (mom)

“But, whyyyyy?” (Ye-Won)

I also apologise for this child, as well....

Park Seon-Duk felt even more saddened now.

*

*SFX for fabrics rustling*

Three people appeared on the NDF HQ’s roof ‘teleportation zone’ and promptly headed for the stairwell. To be more specific, two headed towards the stairs, while Yi Ji-Hyuk simply jumped off the building.

Khuong!!

When he landed on the ground, Oh-Sik stood up right away, and ran up to him.

“Have you been well?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Whimper~, whimper~~

Well now, like this, there was no way anyone would not believe Oh-Sik was a dog. Yi Ji-Hyuk felt very satisfied by this outcome and patted Oh-Sik the mini Ogre, before clapping his eyes on the bag of pet food.

“Hul. What the hell are those?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

He could see a literal hill of pet food bags next to Oh-Sik’s resting place. But, he was certain of bringing only one bag the last time....

“Ohh, so you’ve learned how to take care of your meals now. This is even better! I like it!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

Yi Ji-Hyuk patted the back of this wonderfully smart and loyal “dog” that knew how to procure its own meals and also knew how to use the loo, and then, stepped inside the building.

When he entered the office, he spotted plenty of people there, all waiting for his arrival.

“Okay. So, why did you call me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

“Something big happened.” (Choi Jung-Hoon)

Seeing the hardened expression on Choi Jung-Hoon’s face, Yi Ji-Hyuk couldn’t help but feel a bit confused.

< 65. Eii, I’m sure it’s not gonna bite -5 > Fin.