Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 183 - : I Don’t Want To Have Feelings...

 "Csille? Where did you go?" Rufus immediately asks me the moment I open the door.

 I didn't answer him immediately. I walk towards the sofa and slump my body on it. I was busy looking around inside the alley that I didn't realize it was already too late.

 I just thought that maybe if I searched harder, they would open their doors to me again. But I was wrong. I just made myself exhausted. When I went out of the alley, it was already late. 

 Ruler Laird even asked me to stay in his residence, but I refused. He was just worried about me. Since he knows I just recovered from a fever and he lets me went inside the mysterious alley alone.

 I look at Rufus and sigh. "I just ask Ruler Laird if he would allow me to went inside the alley."

 Rufus' eyes immediately widened when he heard what I said. "What did you said? You asked Ruler Laird to allow you to go back to that mysterious alley? Csille, are you mad?"

 I close my eyes. Ahh, I'm exhausted. I just want to sleep and forget this world. I'm tired. Physically, emotionally and mentally. After coming here, I was subjected to different situations that I didn't know how to handle. And the current happening is one of the hardest problems I encountered here. 

 I need to talk to the Virtouse, but how can I do that if they won't show themselves to me? I tried to return to Kosmo, too, but I couldn't find the way through it. The only thing I know that connects Kosmo and this world is that alley. But it's even useless.

 I laugh. "I'm probably mad already." I'll probably go insane with what is happening now. It's not my mind that is going insane. Even my heart is going insane too. 

 I heard Rufus is about to refute, but someone stops him. "Prince Rufus, I think it's better if you let Lady Csille rest first. It's already late. You can just ask her questions in the morning. We still need to continue our journey tomorrow." 

 Thank goodness Leander noticed it. I'm really exhausted now. All I want is to fall asleep and rest. I lay my body on the sofa and close my eyes, and that's the last thing I remember. 

 When I woke up in the morning, I found myself sleeping inside my room in the house assigned by the Illorian City.

 I frown and try to remember what happened. The last thing I remember is, I heard Leander stops Rufus from asking me questions, and then I sleep on the sofa. 

 However, if I sleep on the sofa, why am I sleeping inside my room? 

 "You're awake?" 

 I almost jumped out of shock when I heard someone talk. I looked around and found Rufus sitting on the sofa. I sigh in relief. I thought it was Prince Fraser. 

 "What are you doing here, Rufus?" I frown. It's inappropriate to stay inside a room of a lady, especially if you're alone with her. 

 Also, it's rude to enter one's room without the owner's permission. I just woke up. I probably look like a mess. What does this guy want? 

 Rufus puts down the book he is reading and clasp his hands. "I want to ask you about what happened yesterday. Why did you return to that mysterious alley, purplany?"

 I rolled my eyes at Rufus. "You enter my room just to gossip? Rufus, do you know what time it is? It's too early in the morning, and I haven't even fix myself. But here you are, barging someone's room just for gossip? Aren't you too nosy, Prince Rufus Astalieu?"

 "Purplany, you cannot blame me. I was so worried about you last night that I didn't get enough of sleep. I want to know the reason why you return to that alley. That alley is a dangerous one. What if you did not return yesterday?"

 I sigh. Reason? I cannot tell him my real reason. "I just felt guilty the last time. I feel like I didn't do my best, so I suggested to Ruler Laird if I could return to the alley. Godfather help us a lot back in the Saiven Kingdom, and I feel guilty for receiving that favor for doing nothing. Is that enough reason for you, your highness Prince Rufus?"

 I get up from the bed and do some stretching. Although Rufus is a man, I'm confident that he won't put meaning to what I am doing. Also, I'm sure Rufus will only love one person in this lifetime, and that is Princess Paislee.

 "I... Pur-plany... Yo-you!" I heard him curse. 

 I look back and find him covering his face. I frowned but just shrugged it off. This is still the medieval period. Man and women are still conservative and not used to have interaction with each other. So, it's understandable if he gets flustered seeing me stretching while on my nightgown.

 I walk towards the bathroom and wash my face. I heard Rufus follows, but he just stayed behind the door. 

 "But you know how dangerous that alley is. What if you weren't able to return yesterday? You didn't even inform us or ask Prince Fraser about it? What will I respond to Prince Fraser if something happened to you yesterday?" 

 I understand where his frustrations are coming from. Although I'm sure Prince Fraser won't be affected if that happens, Rufus and Leander are still responsible for my safety since they are the ones who are with me the whole time. It means, if something happened to me yesterday, they are the ones who will take the consequences of my action. 

 I finished brushing my teeth first before answering him. I look at him and smile. "What are you so worried about? Aren't I safe and sound?" I walk past him and take one of the dresses in my luggage. "You shouldn't think about it that much. As you can see, nothing happens to me. So, you won't take responsibility or explain anything to Prince Fraser." I scoff. "It's as if he would even care."

 "Csille! It's your safety. How can you talk like it doesn't concern you?" Rufus snaps at me. I could see pure disbelief on his face.

 I stand up and face him. "Rufus, why are you fretting over something that was already done?" I walk to him and push him towards the door. "Don't we have more important things to do now? We still have to prepare for our journey this morning. Why are you still here doing nothing?"

 Rufus sighed and just let me push him. He then faces me after I successfully push him out of my room. "You're really stubborn. Just because Prince Fraser doesn't keep an eye on you, it doesn't mean that I won't care." He then gently caress my hair. "Stop doing things that will put your life in danger, purplany." 

 I was stunned for a moment. This... Only Rufus really treats me like this. I feel my heart beats for a moment. 

 "I'll be going now. I'll see you later. Good morning, purplany." He then walks away without waiting for my response. I look at his back and sigh. 

 Rufus, please don't be good at me. I don't want to have feelings for another character.

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 "Csille, don't forget to send me a letter the moment you arrive at the Vrawyth Kingdom, okay?" Ruler Laird gently reminds me.

 I nod my head at him and smile. "The first thing I would do the moment I arrived at the Vrawyth Kingdom is to send you a letter. So, don't worry, Godfather."

 Ruler Laird sighed. "As much as I want to accompany you, but my hands are busy currently. I have been away for too long that my work had been piled up."

 I hold Ruler Laird's hands. "You already help us a lot back in the Saiven Kingdom, Godfather. We will feel guilty if you keep setting aside your work just for us. You don't need to worry, Godfather. I will always send you a letter when I return. Also, if I have a chance, I will visit you for sure. So don't be sad."

 Ruler Laird forces a smile and gently caresses my head. "You better keep your promises, young lady. I will be waiting for your letters."

 He then looks at Prince Fraser and the rest. "Godson, please be careful on your way to the Vrawyth Kingdom. I will let a few of my men to accompany you on your way to the Vrawyth Kingdom."

 Prince Fraser bows his head a little to Ruler Laird. "Thank you, Godfather. We will surely treat the Illorians properly."

 I just heard from Rufus that Prince Fraser and Ruler Laird had a deal that a few Illorians will be accompanying us not just to guard us but to also become a soldier of the Vrawyth Kingdom. But I mostly guess that these Illorians will end up being one of high ranking officials in the army.

 After a few reminders and goodbyes, we all walk towards the carriage that is now waiting for us. I stop on my steps when I see a familiar face. My eyes widened when I realized who is the person waiving at me. 

 It's the fish vendor in the Saiven Kingdom. It's the person who helps me avoid the people who are spying around the Illorian residence. He finally returned to his own home. I look at the lady beside him. The lady bowed her head at me and smiled. She then mouthed her thank you at me.

 I just smile at them before joining the others in the carriage. I'm happy that they are now back in their hometown, to where they belong. 

 I sigh and smile bitterly. What about me? When will I ever return to my own world? Can I even return?

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 I take a glance at Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee, who are both busy looking outside the window of the carriage. 

 The journey is now starting, and no one in the carriage dares to say anything. They probably noticed that Prince Fraser is not in the mood today. 

 Prince Fraser is currently frowning while watching the scenery outside. He does look like he is in a bad mood. But why would he not be in the mood today? 

 I look at Princess Paislee, who seems distracted. She looks like she is watching the scenery outside, but her focus is not on it.

 Did something happen between the two? But they seemed okay the last time. What could have happened?

 I feel someone evading my private space. "Purplany, do you know why my cousin is not in the mood today? He's been watching the scenery outside since we departed. Won't he have a stiff neck if he continues that?" Rufus whispered to me. 

 I just elbow him. How can I know? I haven't talked to Prince Fraser recently. How am I supposed to know what happened to him? Only Princess Paislee knows what happened to Prince Fraser. However, it seems like even she is not in the mood today. 

 I sigh. I cannot do something here in the carriage, so I just let it off. For now. But I will definitely do something the moment we take a stop.

 After a couple of hours, the carriage stops and all of us immediately alighted from the carriage. All of us, except the two people who are not in the mood, have been suffocated by the atmosphere inside the carriage. The more time has passed, the more Prince Fraser's aura got worsen. To the point that we become suffocated with it. 

 Rufus takes a sigh of relief and stares at Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee, who is casually standing on the opposite side. The two looks like they are still not in the mood. 

 "Can we return to the carriage before? I think it's best for all of us not to be in one carriage with that two people. Their mood is affecting me." Rufus grumbles. 

 I sigh and ignores him. Although I like the idea, but I know I cannot do that. I need to make chances for the two lead and to do that. I need to always be with them.

 I looked for something to do, but everyone refused to let me do something. In the end, I just end up sitting comfortably while staring at Prince Fraser and Sir Farren, who is now standing under the shade of a tree. 

 The two looks like they have their own world. It looks like they are preoccupied with something. But what are they thinking about? 

 "Miss, do you need anything?"

 I look at Eve and raise my eyebrow at her. Do something? She can definitely do something for me. I gestured her to come closer to me, and I whispered her something.

 Eve's eyes immediately widened when she heard what I said to her. "Miss!"

 I waved my hand at her and urged her to do what I wanted her to do. As much as I want to do it on my own but I don't want Prince Fraser to get mad at me again. If anything else, I'm sure Prince Fraser won't be mad at Eve over a small matter. 

 Eve reluctantly walks towards Princess Paislee, who is now leaning on the tree with closed eyes. While Prince Fraser is looking up at the sky. It seems like he is thinking about something. So he didn't notice Eve walking close to them. Even Princess Paislee, who had a sharp sense, didn't notice Eve. 

 Eve sighed and walked past the two. She then takes a tray of food in her hands and starts to walk towards Princess Paislee's direction. She fake a trip, and all the food on the tray fell on the floor. Eve made sure that she 'accidentally' bumped Princess Paislee.

 Princess Paislee was startled and didn't react immediately. Her body was falling towards Prince Fraser's direction, and since Prince Fraser's side is facing Princess Paislee, she ends up kissing Prince Fraser on his cheeks.

 Holy moly cow!