Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 184 - : I Want To Go Back

 My eyes widened when I saw Princess Paislee froze while her lips were still on Prince Fraser's cheeks. They remain the same for a couple of hours before they immediately take a distance from each other.

 "What did I see? Sir Farren kiss Prince Fraser on his cheek?" Rufus, who is sitting beside me, stands up because of the shock. While Leander, who is sitting beside Rufus, looks at the two leads with a shocked expression. Even I, the writer, is still shocked by what just happened. 

 I was just hoping Princess Paislee would be toppling Prince Fraser again, just like last time. But why did they have a kissing scene here? Although it's just on his cheek.

 Prince Fraser stares at Princess Paislee, who is just standing with a lost expression. She probably couldn't believe what had happened. While Eve who is sitting on the ground before, immediately kowtow on the ground. 

 "Your highness, please forgive this servant for what she did.. I didn't do it on purpose. I was about to bring food for Miss and Prince Rufus and Mister Leander when I lost balance and trip. I accidentally bump Sir Farren. This servant is asking for forgiveness to your highness, Prince Fraser." Eve pleaded with teary eyes. She looks terrified already.

 She also sees how Prince Fraser look a while ago, and everyone knows that if Prince Fraser is not in the mood, his temper turns 360 degrees. From a calm Crown Prince to a Prince who has anger management issues.

 I feel guilty for putting Eve on the edge of the cliff while here I am comfortably sitting. I get up and walk towards Prince Fraser. Although I know he won't like to talk to me, I still need to take responsibility for what I made Eve do.

 "Your highness, please forgive Eve. Everything that happened is just a pure accident. I hope you won't be mad at her over a small matter like this."

 It's a good thing that everyone is busy doing their duties, and only we are the ones who noticed what just happened. Or else it would be too bad for Prince Fraser's image.

 Prince Fraser looks at me. I was stunned for a moment when I saw his eyes. I definitely see a lot of emotion in it. It's contradicting emotions. I see sadness and longing on it, but then it turns to hatred and anger. 

 What does it mean? 

 Prince Fraser sighed and just waved his hand at Eve, who is still remain her head on the ground. "Stand up. I know that it is an accident, but you should be careful next time. It's a good thing no one is harm or else I cannot be lenient with you."

 Eve immediately takes a sigh in relief. "Thank you, your highness." She then hurriedly get away from the scene like a storm.

 I was about to return to my seat when I heard Prince Fraser's words to Princess Paislee. "You shouldn't worry, Sir Farren. I know it's just an accident, so you don't have to blame yourself..."

 I smile bitterly at myself. But if it's I who did that, you will be mad at me. Aren't you too unfair, Prince Fraser? 

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 We take a rest for the whole night before we continue our journey again. It will take two weeks before we arrive at the Vrawyth Kingdom. It also means I still have plenty of opportunities to make the two leads close to each other. 

 However, how am I supposed to do that? I already used Eve before, and I cannot use her again, or else Prince Fraser might be suspicious of her. But if I make a move, I'm sure he would be mad at me again... Like he always does. 

 I sigh and stare at the bonfire. It's nighttime again, and everyone is preparing for our dinner. 

 "Lady Csille?" 

 I look at Princess Paislee, who is now walking towards me. She is holding a bowl of soup. I frown. What is she doing here? I already distance myself from them, Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee, because I want them to have time for each other, but why is she here? And she even has a bowl with her.

 "Sir Farren? Do you need something?"

 Princess Paislee put the bowl down on the floor of the carriage. I am currently sitting on the floor of the carriage. 

 "Prince Fraser asked me to bring this soup to you. He was worried that your fever might return to he specifically tell the cook to make a soup for you."

 I looked at soup and raised my eyebrows at her. Why does it sound like she is matchmaking Prince Fraser with me again? As far as I remember, he asks the cook to make soup so the Illorians soldier and the Vrawyth soldier won't get sick because of the weather. Everyone knows how important the existence of the soldier is with our journey. We cannot let something happened to them.

 So how come she is saying that Prince Fraser specifically requests that for me? Princess Paislee, can we follow the script here? 

 I look at soup and sigh. What am I supposed to respond to that? Want me to feel touched because a certain somebody is concern about me? Although that is just hoax since I know for sure that Prince Fraser wouldn't even want to see me. 

 I am about to respond to her when she suddenly gets up. "I won't interrupt you anymore, Lady Csille. I just brought you your soup. Please excuse me, Lady Csille."

 I look at Princess Paislee back with a frown. I don't understand why she is doing this. Does she feel guilty because she thinks she's the reason why Prince Fraser and Csille are in the cold war? 

 I look at the soup. What am I supposed to do with this? 

 "Miss, you have a soup already? But what about this?" Eve looks at the bowl of soup she is holding. I frowned when I noticed the difference between the bowls. 

 The bowl on Eve's hand is the common bowl used for meals here. However, the bowl that Princess Paislee used is the bowl Prince Fraser used. She used his bowl, so I won't doubt what she said. 

 She made all those efforts for what? What does she want? 

 I take the bowl from Eve's hand. "Take that bowl and give it to Prince Fraser. Tell him that it is from Prin..." my eyes widened when I realized I almost mentioned Princess Paislee's name. 

 Eve looks confused. "Prin?"

 I shake my head and try to be calm as much as possible. No one should know that I know something. "No, what I mean is tell him that it is from Sir Farren."

 Eve frowned, but she didn't say anything and followed my orders. 

 I laugh at myself. I don't know what Princess Paislee is doing, but there's one thing I know, I cannot let her continue what she is doing. 

 You want to matchmake me and Prince Fraser? Then I will return the favor to you and matchmake you with Prince Fraser. 

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 Throughout the journey, Princess Paislee tried to do things for Prince Fraser. She probably thinks I am too dumb to fall for that. 

 There's this one time she gave me a flower saying that Prince Fraser is the one who sent it to me. What I did is I put it the flower in a pot and sent it to Prince Fraser. Saying it is from Princess Paislee.

 She tried other things aside from that, which in return, I used it to matchmake the two. In the end, Prince Fraser becomes even closer to Princess Paislee. 

 Thanks to her, I don't need to wreck my brains to matchmake them. However, there's one thing I don't understand. Why did Princess Paislee did those things for Prince Fraser? 

 "Stare more, and I will think that you already developed a crush on Sir Farren. You know that Sir Farren is Prince Fraser's guard, right? Don't you think it's inappropriate?" Rufus suddenly whispered to my ears. 

 I immediately back away from him. What is this guy doing? Whispering to my ears all of a sudden? And what did he said? I have a crush on Princess Paislee? 

 Oh please, even if I haven't fallen in love again after Jared, it doesn't mean that I swing the other way around. 

 I glared at Rufus and whispered back at him. "What nonsense are you spouting again? What if people heard what you said, then I will be tainted as a person who doesn't know what morality is? Although your cousin and I are in a cold war, it doesn't mean that I would fall for anyone else. I don't know if I should be mad at you or insulted." I shake my head at him.

 Although I cannot blame him for thinking that way, Princess Paislee's disguise is way too convincing that even I, the writer who writes about her existence, sometimes forget that she is a woman in disguise. 

 Rufus is about to say something, but Prince Fraser suddenly interrupts him. "If the two of you want to flirt, please do it without other people seeing it. Have some decency."

 I look at Prince Fraser with pain expression. Why does he think so lowly of me? In his eyes, am I just a cheap woman who flirts with everyone? Do I look that desperate in his eyes?

 The carriage stops moving, indicating that we have arrived at our camping site for tonight. I immediately get off the carriage when I feel tears started to form in my eyes. 

 I run towards the woods and ignores the people who are calling my name. I ran for a couple of minutes before I decided to climb a tree. It's not that high, so I didn't find it difficult to do so. 

 I sit on one of the thick branches of the tree and let tears start to fall from my eyes. Am I that a lowly person in his eyes? I thought... 

 I smile bitterly at myself and cry all the pain. It hurts. I know that the Prince Fraser I love is already gone now. But I was hoping. Hoping he was still inside of him. Deep buried. 

 I guess it was all hopeful thinking. How can the male lead fall in love with the Villainess?

 I was still busy crying when I heard someone call my name. I looked down and saw Prince Fraser looking around frantically. 

 "Csille!" 

 "Csille! Where are you? Show yourself to me. Let's talk!" He shouted. I observe his expression, and I can see anxiety and panic in his eyes. 

 "Your highness, why did you run towards the woods without even informing us? What if people from the Strzalka are waiting in here?" Princess Paislee said, panting from all the running. 

 Prince Fraser suddenly got frozen for a couple of seconds before he looked confusedly at Princess Paislee. 

 "What am I doing here?"

 I frown. What does he mean? 

 Princess Paislee looks confused the same way as I do. "Your highness, you chase after Lady Csille when she runs towards the woods."

 Prince Fraser frown. "Chaser after her?" He paused before he shook his head. "Why would I do that? She's already big enough to know what she is doing and to face the consequences of her action. Why would I run after her?"

 Princess Paislee and I couldn't believe what he had just said. I look at Prince Fraser. 

 He is really gone. The Prince Fraser I know who promise to wait for me is already gone. How can I expect him to care for me now? 

 I smile bitterly at myself and close my eyes. You're an idiot Ysa, for hoping each time that the Prince Fraser I know will return.

 This is the real Prince Fraser. This is the real male lead. I need to stop hoping for something that is impossible.

 I heard Prince Fraser and Princess Paislee conversation fading away. They will probably get back to the campsite. 

 They really left me. He really left me. 

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 After a couple of hours and after I collected myself and my rationality, I went back to the campsite. Princess Paislee immediately ran towards me when she saw me. 

 "Lady Csille, you're finally back. Prince Fraser was so worried about you. He wants to search around the woods, but I just stop him. Everyone is afraid of the Strzalka threat. So, please don't blame him. Also, about the words he said this morning, please understand that he only said that because he was just jealous of your closeness to Prince Ru—"

 I raised my hand at her and scoffed. I'm done. I don't want to hear those empty words and white lies. 

 "Stop lying for his sake. I know he isn't worried about me. I know he already warns everyone not to look for me. Save that excuses for yourself because I am done hearing it." 

 I walk past him and walk towards the spare carriage where Rufus, Leander, and I were confined. 

 I don't want this anymore. I want to go back now. I close my eyes and let my tears fall. I want to go back now, Pearce! I don't care about my dream. I don't want to be a famous writer anymore. All I want is to go back. Let me go back. I beg you.