Why Did I Become the Villainess?

Chapter 219 - : Letter

 "Cheers, everyone. Cheers to Csille's achievement. Cheers to Csille's bright future!" Father shouted. 

 We all raised our wine cups and clinked them. I put down the wine and smile. I don't want to drink. I still want to enjoy the night.

 After the graduation ceremony, I bid my goodbyes to my schoolmates before my parents, and Brother Pascal left the venue first. 

 The Foulqueret Family follows behind us. Even though I want to run to them after I take my speech, but I know they won't appreciate it if I do that. Also, we have already agreed to have a celebration tonight in the Foulqueret's home. 

 And now we are spending our night celebrating my graduation. 

 Pax Dea clings to my arms and drags away from the others. "Csille, congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

 I smile at Pax Dea. "Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it."

 "What are you saying? We are all family here. Of course, we will attend your graduation. How can we let it pass? I'm so proud to have a cousin like you. I wish I could boast it around my friends, but it will just make things too complicated."

 I laugh at Pax Dea. Although Father and Pax Dea are not blood related, their minds are thinking the same thing. Isn't that cute?

 Pax Dea pouts at me. "Hey, are you laughing at me?"

 "It's because you and Father share the same thoughts. I just find it cute."

 Pax Dea sighed. "Csille, do you think there will come a time that we can let other people know our relationship with the Lauretré Family?"

 Will there be a time for that? I don't think so, and I don't wish to. The Foulqueret family was a great help to me. They are genuinely concerned about me, and I don't want them to be involved with things that the real Csille will do in the future. 

 I didn't answer her question. I wouldn't want to make her hope for something impossible. 

 "Pax Dea, are you ready for our departure? Did you prepare all the things you needed? How about your boutique?"

 I sigh when she doesn't notice that I avoided her question. 

 She excitedly holds my hand. "You don't know how excited I was, Csille. Don't worry. I have already ready my things, and about my Boutique, I just added an assistant who will show the guests around my Boutique. I even orient her about the dresses and everything she needs to know. So, you shouldn't get worried everything is under my control."

 Couture Dream has only a cashier and Pax Dea. Aside from being the creative head for designing and making dresses, she also helps in assisting the customers. But now she will be gone for a week she hired an assistant who will help assisting the clients.

 Pax Dea originally wants to stay in the Vrawyth Kingdom for a month or two. So when she heard the news that Father and Mother agreed on a condition that she would only stay in the Vrawyth Kingdom for a week, she was disappointed. But in the end, she agreed to it too.

 I nod my head. At least, I don't have to worry about her Boutique.

 I look up at the sky and smile sadly. It's my graduation, and I should feel happy tonight, but I only feel emptiness inside of me. It's as if something is missing, but I couldn't pinpoint what is amiss. 

 "Csille, are you really okay with it?" Pax Dea suddenly asks. She is also looking at the starry night sky.

 We're currently sitting on the porch and watching the night sky. 

 "I'm okay with what?"

 Pax Dea sighed. "Are you okay with Prince Fraser not being here? For not attending your graduation? Is it really okay for you? Be honest with me, Csille."

 I remain looking at the sky. Am I okay? I don't know. I don't know what I am feeling. All I know is Prince Fraser will never attend my graduation because I have written about it. It's probably because of this that I don't feel any disappointment. 

 "Yes, I am okay. I told you that Prince Fraser has a reason why he cannot attend my graduation. Why would I be petty and be disappointed with him? Also, even if he couldn't attend my graduation, we could just have a celebration when I return to the Vrawyth Kingdom. So, I'm really not bothered."

 Although I know that celebration is impossible to happen. Once the Lauretré family returns to the Vrawyth Kingdom, that's the start of changes. 

 Pax Dea hmp. "I would never understand it. Graduation is one of the important events in the life of a person. How can your fiancé miss it? If I were in your shoes, I would never agree to it. He's my fiancé. How can he bear not to attend my graduation?"

 I smile at Pax Dea. Her reasoning is simple because she is living a simple life. However, the life of Csille is different. She cannot force Prince Fraser to attend her graduation just because she wants to. 

 "Dea, his highness, has other responsibilities as the future King of the Vrawyth Kingdom. As her future Queen, my obligation is to help him with his duties. How can I help him if I would only take care of what I want? I need to see reason. I need to be practical. That's the reason why it's okay for me."

 Pax Dea sighed. "Now I know why Mother always told me that it is better to find a simple person to love than a person with a title. Because it is never easy loving a person who has duties aside from being my husband." 

 I just smile at her and look at the sky. 

 I need to understand because that's the only thing I can do. In the first place, Prince Fraser will not end up with Csille. So, why would he choose to attend my graduation if he can attend the graduation of his beloved?

________________________________

 It was past midnight now, but here I am, still awake. My mind couldn't help but think of Prince Fraser and the things that would happen the moment we returned home.

 I am scared. I'm scared of what will happen. Although I knew what would happen, I couldn't help but be afraid of it. Not because of my safety but because of the safety of everyone I cared about. 

 If only I could do something to change it. But what else can I do? I'm trapped in this world. I couldn't even take full control of Csille's body.

 I messed my hair and sighed. I am currently on Pax Dea's balcony. She's already sleeping, so I stay on her balcony because I don't want to disturb her sleep. I just need some time to think. A little breather.

 We will soon leave this place, and I will need to face the life I have written for Csille. But am I ready? 

 Am I ready to be Csille Lauretré? Am I ready to be the Villainess?

 I smile bitterly at myself because I know the answer. I don't even need to ask myself because I already know the answer deep inside my heart. 

 I will never be ready. I will never be ready to be the Villainess. I will never be ready to see Prince Fraser, the person who already occupies a space in my heart, to hate me. 

 I bite my lips and try to control my emotions. I'm scared. I don't want this. I don't want to be the Villainess. I never wanted to be the Villainess. 

 I just want to run away from my fate. I just want to run to Prince Fraser's side and hug him and never let go. 

 But I know I cannot do that. 

 I feel tears start to roll down my face. I laugh at myself. I'm laughing, not because I am happy. I'm laughing because I am pitying myself. 

 They said there's nothing wrong with falling in love. However, why does it feel like love is forbidden? That it is not meant for me.

 I hug myself and cry silently. I don't want to face the future. I just want to run away. I just want to return to the real world and leave all of this. 

 I was busy crying everything out when I heard the chirping of a bird. I looked up and found a very familiar messenger bird.

 I look intently at the bird, and the bird also looks at me. He then put down the scroll he was holding and pushed it towards me. It is as if telling me that the letter is for me and I should open it.

 I frown and look at the scroll. "Is it for me?" I ask the messenger bird. 

 The bird chirps and nods his head. 

 I gently take the paper and look at the bird, who is now flying away. I look at the scroll in my hand and slowly roll it to read its content.

 My eyes widen, and tears start to fall from my eyes again. I couldn't believe it. It's from Prince Fraser. He sent me a letter! 

Dear Csille,

 I apologize if I cannot attend your graduation. As much as I want to attend, but I also have graduation that I need to attend. So, I hope you can understand. 

 Also, I heard you're the top student in your batch. I'm so proud of you. I wish I were there to witness your speech, and I wish you were here to witness mine too. But I know it's impossible to happen. So, I just sent you a letter to congratulate you on your success.

 I will be waiting for your return. 

Fraser

 I put the paper on my chest and hugged it. He sent me a letter! He cares about me.

 The reason why the messenger bird looks familiar is because it is the messenger bird of Prince Fraser, and only he can order the bird to send letters.

 I reread the letter a couple of times more and hugged it again. 

 I didn't expect to hear anything from him. After all, I was avoiding him when he was here. He also abruptly left in the Alderrdeen City, so I thought he return to the novel based Prince Fraser. 

 But I guess I was wrong. The Prince Fraser in the novel won't send this kind of letter to Csille. Although he is well aware of the changes in Csille throughout the five years, he is still skeptical about it. So, he still distances himself away from her. 

 I look at the starry sky and smile. This time, it's not a bitter smile but a genuine smile. I am really happy right now.

 I'm too happy that I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine. Not even the happiness in my graduation can be compared to the happiness I feel right now.

 Only Prince Fraser can really make me feel like this. 

 "Thank you, Fraser. Although I know this letter and its content will mean nothing in the future, I still want to thank you for making my graduation day happy. Thank you."

 I look at the letter in my hand. I will definitely treasure this letter. Even if I know you will hate me in the future, I still want to keep it. 

 As a remembrance, that there is a time when you are still concerned about me.. That you care about me, the Villainess.