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You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale
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a year ago
The Peng Society for Gentlemen — a secret friend-making club for the homosexual men of the Great Xia Dynasty. Its services were designed to help its members along in their quest for their lifelong partners. Upon paying a monthly fee of fifty coins, members could get themselves listed in The Pengornisseur after providing a self-portrait, a mailing address, their age and hobbies, as well as a self-introduction. All members would receive a copy of the monthly publication, and they could communicate with one another in private using the information in The Pengornisseur.
Wu Xingzi, a bachelor about to turn forty, worked as the adviser to the magistrate in Qingcheng County.
Qingcheng County was a place with barely any resources. In other words, it was poor. In the list of counties of the Great Xia Dynasty, it had been ranked at the bottom for the past two hundred years.
Wu Xingzi felt that his life was hopeless: not only was he a homosexual, he was also a virgin. Even his retirement fund was lacking. Worse still, his looks were… forgettable.
He might as well die.
Hence, Wu Xingzi decided to commit suicide on his fortieth birthday. However, he was unwilling to remain a virgin to death! And so, gritting his teeth, he joined the Peng Society for Gentlemen and received The Pengornisseur. It was very painful; after all, fifty coins were the sum of his daily expenditure for ten days! He would only pay it once, and he was determined to succeed on his first try.
- Chapter 1 - The Affairs of Adviser Wu
- Chapter 4 - Nothing Was More Important Than The Pengornis Drawings
- Chapter 7 - Shall We Expose Ourselves to Each Other?
- Chapter 10 - Flute Appreciation with Adviser Wu
- Chapter 13 - They Meet Again
- Chapter 16 - The General Wants to Stay
- Chapter 19 - It Always Backfires When The General Tries to Fuck A Certain Someone Over
- Chapter 22 - Who Exactly Was That Person?
- Chapter 25 - Let’s Just Plant Cucumbers
- Chapter 28 - Adviser Wu Rides a Horse (NSFW)
- Chapter 31 - Rumours
- Chapter 34 - Ancestor Worship
- Chapter 37 - The Mutual Destruction of The Brothers Is Troubling The Advisor
- Chapter 40 - The Cucumbers Have Matured
- Chapter 43 - How Can A Pengornis Compare to Me? (NSFW)
- Chapter 46 - Wafts and Whiffs (NSFW)
- Chapter 49 - That Peach Forest, Once Upon A Time
- Chapter 52 - Let’s Do Something A Little Interesting (NSFW)
- Chapter 55 - Rancui Gains A Loyal Puppy
- Chapter 58 - So Many Pengornises In The Capital, Of Course I Should Go Take A Look!
- Chapter 61 - The Various Emotions of Life, And So It Goes
- Chapter 64 - The Agreed Upon Blood Vomiting
- Chapter 67 - You Can’t Stop Taking This Medicine
- Chapter 70 - I’ve Missed You… (NSFW)
- Chapter 73 - The Tree of Jianmu: The Bridge Between Heaven and Earth
- Chapter 76 - No Matter How Painful Getting Hoisted By One’s Own Petard Is, It’s Self-Inflicted
- Chapter 79 - Rubbing the Belly
- Chapter 82 - How to Prove This?
- Chapter 85 - Advisor Wu Toughens Up
- Chapter 88 - This Is Called A Slutty Hole (NSFW)
- Chapter 91 - Spring’s Frequent Visitor, While Money Disappears
- Chapter 94 - Ai, There’s Something I Want to Say (NSFW)
- Chapter 97 - What Was Man Yue Doing Here?!
- Chapter 100 - Time to Get Yan Wenxin to Fall Into The Trap!
- Chapter 103 - Visiting A Prisoner In Jail
- Chapter 106 - It Started With Pengornises, And It Also Ends With Pengornises (End)
- Chapter 2 - Penpals Through the Pigeon Express
- Chapter 5 - Adviser Wu’s Wet Dream (NSFW)
- Chapter 8 - On the Peaks of Pleasure, In the Showers of Desire
- Chapter 11 - The Great South Garrison General
- Chapter 14 - Let Mr D In, Here’s a Good Boy (NSFW)
- Chapter 17 - A Beauty’s Favour is the Hardest to Enjoy
- Chapter 20 - The Lewd Darling and The Big Pengornis
- Chapter 23 - All First Loves Are Painful
- Chapter 26 - The Adviser’s Daily Life
- Chapter 29 - For Whom Are You Getting Angry About?
- Chapter 32 - You Like Fanning The Flames, Yet You Can’t Take The Heat (NSFW)
- Chapter 35 - The Prince of Lanling of Pengornises
- Chapter 38 - This New Year is Rough
- Chapter 41 - Will o’ Wisp Lu’s Tricks Are Rather Stale
- Chapter 44 - Why Is It Lanterns Again??
- Chapter 47 - There Are Some Things You Actually Did Not Forget
- Chapter 50 - A Qin’s Melody Spells One’s Emotions
- Chapter 53 - Come, Come Touch Your Belly (NSFW)
- Chapter 56 - Your Good Friend Mr. Lu Is Back Online
- Chapter 59 - The Past Is Over, There’s No Turning Back
- Chapter 62 - It’s Time For Plot: Trouble at a Wedding!
- Chapter 65 - The Long Journey to The Capital
- Chapter 68 - Is This In The Hands of Fate or Mine?
- Chapter 71 - A Dream That Left No Traces (NSFW)
- Chapter 74 - We Both Have Nothing, And So Coincidentally, We’re A Match
- Chapter 77 - Yan Wenxin
- Chapter 80 - Showdown
- Chapter 83 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 1
- Chapter 86 - Tell the Truth
- Chapter 89 - How About Burning The Pengornis Drawing of Ping Yifan?
- Chapter 92 - Meeting the In-Laws
- Chapter 95 - A Bolt From The Blue (NSFW)
- Chapter 98 - Adviser Wu’s Short Story
- Chapter 101 - Prison Play (NSFW)
- Chapter 104 - Xingzi: Always Misjudged
- Chapter 3 - Receiving A Pile of Pengornis Drawings
- Chapter 6 - Adviser, Your Pengornis
- Chapter 9 - Playing With the Adviser’s Little Pengornis
- Chapter 12 - The Great South Garrison General Part 2
- Chapter 15 - Guess Where This Jade Rod is Going? (NSFW)
- Chapter 18 - City Folks are Really Different
- Chapter 21 - Why Must You Insist On It?
- Chapter 24 - And So Will-o’-Wisp Lu Makes Trouble
- Chapter 27 - Will o’ Wisp Lu Finally Appears!
- Chapter 30 - The General’s EQ is Touching
- Chapter 33 - He’s Like A Wisp of Moonlight
- Chapter 36 - Staying Up on New Year’s Eve1 (NSFW)
- Chapter 39 - Fire Cannot Be Wrapped In Paper, Unless They Were Paper Lanterns
- Chapter 42 - An Interlude; Pickled Cucumbers Are Really Yummy
- Chapter 45 - Mingzhu Flees \/ A Treasure Covered in Dust1
- Chapter 48 - This Apparently Is A Trap Disguised As A Feast
- Chapter 51 - Haiwang, Are You Really Not Going to Let The Physician Check Your Eyes?
- Chapter 54 - Are We Still Giving This Gift?
- Chapter 57 - That Frog in The Well
- Chapter 60 - The Will-o-Wisp Turning Into Dust Only Needed The Blink of An Eye
- Chapter 63 - Not Sure What Title to Give This, Bursting Their Bubbles?
- Chapter 66 - If He Doesn’t Belong to Anyone, Would You Want Him?
- Chapter 69 - This Peng Society Gathering…
- Chapter 72 - Every Age Brings In a New Pengornis
- Chapter 75 - As The Saying Goes, To Be Hoisted By One’s Own Petard
- Chapter 78 - Forever and Eternal Peace
- Chapter 81 - Showdown Part 2
- Chapter 84 - A Trap Within A Trap(?): Part 2
- Chapter 87 - Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
- Chapter 90 - Your Good Friend Yan Wenxin is Now Online
- Chapter 93 - Your Pengornis Isn’t The Only Thing I Like
- Chapter 96 - Anxious and Uneasy
- Chapter 99 - Someone Is Vomiting Blood
- Chapter 102 - Closing The Net
- Chapter 105 - Wrapping Up