You've Got Mail: A Cautionary Tale

Chapter 87 - Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Chapter 87 — Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Edited by DancingDolphinsYo

With the drug’s effect rushing over him, not only did Wu Xingzi feel his body weaken, his brain turned blank and his tongue turned thick. Murmuring aloud, even he himself could not hear what he was saying clearly. It felt as though he was drifting up in the clouds, or floating along in a dream. He realised that at this moment, if he were to say anything, it would be nothing but the truth, and there was no way for his brain to lie or deceive.

He squinted his blurry eyes, staring straight at Guan Shanjin. Opening his mouth, he mumbled, “Say, that pink and adorable pengornis, Murong Chong, where did it come from?” That pengornis drawing held great credit for his love at first sight towards Ping Yifan, as the image found a firm hold in his heart.

The pengornis Murong Chong? Guan Shanjin froze, but he quickly understood what Wu Xingzi meant. Unable to stop himself from breaking out into sudden laughter, he pulled up the hand of the old quail to his lips, taking a bite. “What you’ve been thinking and pondering about, what you wanted an answer to, it’s the pengornis drawing?”

“Mn. I really, truly like that drawing very much, although it can’t compare to yours… Where did it come from?” Alright, Wu Xingzi was Wu Xingzi. Ever since the first time he laid his eyes on the vibrant world of pengornises, it had become the most important thing to him. Now that he had taken the truth-telling drug, he could no longer hide it.

“I asked Man Yue to draw it casually from my own pengornis.” Although it was not anything significant, Guan Shanjin still blushed a little. If this was an ordinary circumstance, he might not even have been willing to answer honestly, as he found it too embarrassing.

Hearing that, Wu Xingzi blinked slowly as his lips curled up in a smile. “You got Man Yue to draw your pengornis? You pulled it out and showed it to him?” Wu Xingzi’s mouth straightened a little, his eyes falling very naturally downwards. Unfortunately, he could only see his own languid legs and hips. After all, he was tucked firmly in Guan Shanjin’s arms.

“No, why do I have to pull it out and show it to Man Yue? Isn’t my pengornis drawing in the Pengornisseur already? I got Man Yue to draw according to it, and afraid that you would recognise it, I even got him to add some colour to hide it.”

It was truly a wonder as to how Wu Xingzi, this shy old thing, had gotten such an astonishing talent. His judging of the pengornises could be said to be piercing and sharp, and his ability to recognise people and faces might not even be as accurate as recognising their pengornises. He could even notice any discrepancies, and be able to identify that the pengornises of Ping Yifan and Guan Shanjin came from the same source.

“That was truly well-coloured,” Wu Xingzi exclaimed in praise. His mind naturally again went to Ping Yifan’s pengornis, and the memory of secretly enjoying it at night made his face flush red.

“Why did you pretend to be Ping Yifan?” Now that the matter of the pengornises had been clarified, it was time to ask about the owner of the pengornis. Guan Shanjin, while embracing Wu Xingzi, twitched and jerked. Unconsciously, he again wanted to refuse to answer. Wu Xingzi’s entire body was limp, and while trembling, he reached out, patting the man’s arm that was on his waist in consolation. Very quickly, the man behind him relaxed his tense muscles, exhaling slowly.

“I pretended to be Ping Yifan, as I wanted to lay a trap for Yan Wenxin, that old fox, as well as… hiss…” Just as Guan Shanjin wanted to resist answering, the pain in his head became so intense that it caused him to gasp. He was not intentionally trying to hide the truth, only feeling that the truth was too embarrassing. Unfortunately for him, this drug was truly too demanding. Unwilling to let Wu Xingzi worry over him, dejectedly, he gave an honest answer. “I just don’t want you to be tempted away by other men. Rancui, that little fox, is always pushing you, always hoping to just shove you at any other man out there and have you spend the rest of your life with him. Isn’t that so? Look, just as your heart calmed down, he immediately gave you a copy of the Pengornisseur. Tell me yourself, before coming to the capital and meeting Ping Yifan, how many letters did you send through the pigeon express, hmm?”

The lilt at the end of the question tickled Wu Xingzi’s heart. He hummed a couple of times, unable to stop himself from nuzzling into Guan Shanjin’s warm and broad chest.

With the continuous grinding against him, Guan Shanjin felt himself lit aflame with desire. He no longer suppressed himself, but bent his head down and pressed against the old fellow’s tender lips, suckling on them. Their tongues tangled and intertwined, and Wu Xingzi was kissed to the point where he felt as though even his eyes were heating up. Only when he was unable to catch his breath, and his entire being felt like a puddle of water, did Guan Shanjin finally release that trembling tongue, ending the kiss. However, as Wu Xingzi was panting for air, Guan Shanjin again could not help himself and started kissing the older man. The soft and clinging kiss seemed endless, and Guan Shanjin truly wished that he could just swallow the old man inside him and be done with it.

“Ai… Don’t kiss…” Wu Xingzi really could not endure it any longer, and he pushed at Guan Shanjin feebly. There were still many questions he wanted to ask, and he could not let his previous efforts go to vain! With how demanding this drug was on the body, how could he drug Guan Shanjin a second time with it? What was he going to do if he did not use these four hours wisely?

Guan Shanjin naturally understood. Although he wished to just push Wu Xingzi down and go ahead, skipping over all the honesty and truth-telling bits, he vaguely knew that if he really wanted to tuck the old thing under his wing for the rest of his life, pampering him and doting on him, he could not avoid today’s situation. If not, the person who would be left empty-handed, would definitely be him.

After giving a fierce nibble on Wu Xingzi’s lips, Guan Shanjin panted, pressing his forehead against the forehead of the man lying in his arm, and their breaths mingled. “You can continue asking. Hurry up and finish.”

His self-control was getting demolished under the influence of the truth-telling drug, and it was hard to say how long he could hold on for. Although he had been meeting Wu Xingzi everyday recently, as he was afraid of exposing himself as well as being jealous over Ping Yifan, he had been fiercely suppressing his desires with his inner strength. Now, his desire could be said to be coming down upon him like an avalanche, and his cold sweat was not entirely due to the truth-telling drug.

With his mouth open as he gasped for air, Wu Xingzi saw that Guan Shanjin was about to start kissing him again, and so he hurriedly asked, “Why do you want to lay a trap for Yan Wenxin? Did it start from Bastion City?”

“Yes… When I was at Bastion City, I had already begun to deal with Yan Wenxin. This matter cannot go beyond this courtyard, and it’s best that you forget everything upon hearing it, hmm?” Guan Shanjin gently caressed Wu Xingzi’s face. Only after he saw him nod and promise, did he then continue. “The one who wants to deal with Yan Wenxin… it’s the Emperor. You know that the family line of the Lord Protector has always been ministry officials, and the one we’re loyal to is the person on the throne, and to the country itself. During these years, Yan Wenxin has been prospering well within the official court, and in his hands is countless wealth and power.”

“But doesn’t the Emperor value him greatly?” Wu Xingzi still remembered how Rancui and Hei’er talked about Yan Wenxin. He was the highest ranking official in court, and the Minister of State Affairs, with ties to all the officials in the court. He had the Emperor’s utmost trust and was greatly valued by the Emperor. If not for the majority of the army being under Guan Shanjin, he would be the most powerful person, and even be able to overthrow the court. Not only did he have ambition, he was very capable as well, but the Emperor seemed to not have noticed this wolf next to him.

Guan Shanjin sneered. “If Yan Wenxin is an old fox, then the one on the throne is basically the epitome of a fox in a human body. Back then, he had supported Yan Wenxin because he wanted his ability, his methods, and his mind. Yan Wenxin was both vicious and full of forbearance, and this would greatly profit the Emperor, becoming another sword in his hands. A person like this would never be tamed, and he was bound to bring chaos. How could the Emperor never see this? The eldest son of the Lord Protector needed to build up an army, before the Emperor could decide if that person was fit for power. Only after returning to the capital from the northwest region did I gain an official position. The Emperor also took that opportunity, gaining clear insight to the sort of person Yan Wenxin was. The years I stayed in the south, refusing to return to the capital, had also been silently approved by the Emperor. It was to let me rest for a while. However, no one thought that Yan Wenxin could even spread his feelers right beyond the south, and so this was a pleasant surprise.”

Never expecting that there would be so many twists and turns in the situation, Wu Xingzi’s eyes were so wide that he looked even more foolish. A beat later, he raised a shaky hand, pressing it against Guan Shanjin’s mouth as he spoke, feeling troubled, “So… so you were actually hiding something so important from me, but I’ve drugged you instead… Don’t say anymore, I won’t continue asking, I won’t continue asking.”

Wu Xingzi was truly scared. It was not because he was afraid of knowing these secrets, or afraid of attracting trouble towards himself, but he was afraid that Guan Shanjin would be further implicated.

However, under the influence of the drug, Wu Xingzi could not control his mouth. He heard himself continue, “But, Zaizong-xiong is not this sort of person. I can be considered to have interacted with him for some time, and he truly wishes to work for the interests of the country.”

“Hmph, so he then cheated you out of your money, and used a perfume sachet he bought to steal your heart?” Recalling these matters, Guan Shanjin’s heart felt bitter and achy, mixed emotions swelling up within it. He knew that it was impossible for Wu Xingzi to not have fallen for other people in his life, and to just wait for Guan Shanjin. In the past, did he not have Lu Zezhi in his heart too? However, it was clear that the position of Yan Wenxin in Wu Xingzi’s heart was different, just looking at how he was speaking up for him.

“The last time he saw you, he didn’t even recognise you. Yet, you’re still thinking about him?”

“No, it’s not like that…” Wu Xingzi blinked guilelessly. He already held no feelings for Yan Wenxin, but he was still someone whom he had liked and thought about for so long. Their past interactions and meetings were all sweet memories. Back then, Yan Wenxin had shared his ambitions with great spirits. To Wu Xingzi, it felt as though he was a ray of sunlight shining directly upon his heart, dispelling the gloom of his parents’ deaths. Even though this relationship turned out to be false, it had once been of great help to him.

Now that years had gone and things had changed, he had only felt some slight sadness upon seeing Yan Wenxin for the first time again. Later on, he was completely focused on pondering over the relationship between Ping Yifan and Guan Shanjin, as well as the relationship between Guan Shanjin and Lu Zezhi. He completely had no time to even think about the person who had left twenty odd years ago.

Hearing him stammer an explanation, Guan Shanjin then felt that his jealousy was no longer as acrid, and the ache in his heart even turned to joy. Leaning over, he again started kissing and caressing the older man.

“I know you want to ask me about Lu Zezhi.” This time, Guan Shanjin did not need Wu Xingzi to start the topic. He was well aware of the greatest issue keeping the two of them apart. The person in his arms had immediately stiffened up once he heard the name “Lu Zezhi”, and the kiss-reddened cheeks paled abruptly as his head sunk so low as though it was trying to bury itself in his chest.

Guan Shanjin felt ashamed. Tightening his hug in consolation, he patted softly on the thin back. Just as he was about to speak, Wu Xingzi spoke up first. “Haiwang, I like you. It’s not a casual type of liking, but one that makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even Zaizong-xiong had never made me want to want this before. I really, really like you too much… But I know that there was Lu Zezhi in your heart, and that was why I left…”

The gentle voice sounded very serious. Even though the drug was making him mumble a little, each and every word, in Guan Shanjin’s ears, was full of emotions.

Blankly, he looked at the old quail in his arms. He suddenly felt as though sparks from a meteor had landed on his arm. Looking carefully, he realised that a few drops of tears had fallen there, and Wu Xingzi was crying silently. The heat from the tears had clearly vanished instantly, but they fell like the ashes of a meteor, burning into his blood, travelling into his heart. In his chest was a pain that he had never felt before, and Guan Shanjin hugged the older man tightly, deeply afraid that the man would again disappear in the blink of an eye. If it were to happen again, this time, he would truly fall into madness.

“My father only had my mother, and when I was younger, he told me that as a man, it was enough for us to love just one person forever. Could a person’s heart actually be split into so many parts? In the past, my father had even attained the Imperial Scholar rank, and was assigned to the Imperial Academy. He had not planned on marrying so early. At that time, he was only eighteen, and he enjoyed great literary fame. Although he had never said it out loud, I always thought that there might even be people in the capital who had heard of his name before. Still, he met my mother, and it was love at first sight. His heart could not be split, and it was all given to my mother. To help her family, my mother had been sold into the capital, coming in as the lowest caste of all. It was impossible for her to marry my father as his official wife, and she could at most be his concubine. My father refused to wrong my mother, and so he decided to give up his official position. After thinking of how to get rid of my mother’s ‘untouchable’ status, he brought her back to his hometown, Qingcheng County, and settled there.”

This was the first time Wu Xingzi had shared the private details of his family. Guan Shanjin had guessed that the status of Wu Xingzi’s father was not a simple one, and he could not be just a simple private teacher. However, he did not expect that it would be something like this.

Wu Xingzi now looked up, his eyes still red. Despite the haziness from the drug, there was still a fixed determination in them. “I will definitely listen to what my father said. They left early, but they always loved each other for the rest of their lives. What I want is also only that. My heart will only be given to one person, and I also only need just one person’s heart. Since your heart belongs to another, I don’t want it then.”

Letting someone go to achieve their dreams, was it also not a form of disappointment to oneself? How could a person not be selfish? If Wu Xingzi were to look deep inside himself, whether it was his departure, or his insistence in believing that Guan Shanjin and Lu Zezhi held mutual affections for each other, or even when he fell for Ping Yifan, at the very source of everything was his selfishness.

Just like how he later threw away that perfume sachet Yan Wenxin had gifted him, he wanted everything. If there was even a little bit missing, he did not want it at all.

Guan Shanjin was stunned. It was as though this was the first time he truly knew what sort of character this old quail in front of him had. Wu Xingzi did have a good temperament, seeking for nothing and asking for none. However, anyone would still have a bit of a temper, and if they flared up, they could wound others. Still, after his astonishment, waves of indescribable joy crashed down upon Guan Shanjin.

He hugged Wu Xingzi tightly, wishing that he could just subsume his entire person into his blood and bones. “My heart only belongs to you. If you want it, just take it. If you don’t want it, I’ll just throw it away. In this life, there would not be a second person who would get it.”

“Then what about Mr. Lu? After all, you snatched him from his wedding.” Wu Xingzi did not expect that he would be given such an intense promise. His heart was so sweet that it felt as though it was submerged in honey, but once he thought about the white-robed man, the smile on his face froze.

Understanding that this matter would not be so easily glossed over, Guan Shanjin answered a little unwillingly, “I’m only using him… Lu Zezhi doesn’t like me as well. What he likes is the doting I lavish on him, as well as the free and easy life of not needing to lift a finger. In the past, I did like him before, but it is the past, after all. There are some relationships, where once the opportunity is missed, they would never happen. This is the reality between him and me. He placed himself on a pedestal, while I dared not touch him, and dragging on like this, I met you, then he no longer mattered. Don’t put any blame on yourself, as this matter cannot be blamed on anyone. Feelings cannot be forced, and I will not wrong myself either.” This was Guan Shanjin’s usual powerful momentum. He would either conceal everything to the very end, or he would take the opportunity, revealing it all and gaining an advantage with it.

“But why did you also…” Guan Shanjin bent over, pressing a kiss onto Wu Xingzi and stopping him from finishing his question. Fiercely, he caught up Wu Xingzi’s soft little tongue with his, sucking on it for a moment before letting go, panting as he replied, “I did it for you. The old fox Yan Wenxin isn’t an easy one to catch, and his methods are vicious as well. How can I not worry and let you be pushed to the forefront? The moment an error is made, you would definitely be used by that old man against me. For the big picture, and for your safety, I have no choice but to keep Lu Zezhi by my side.”

The words “no choice” made Wu Xingzi feel slightly apologetic.

“Are you going to continue making use of Mr. Lu?”

“Yes.” The moment Guan Shanjin finished responding, he pressed a finger against Wu Xingzi’s mouth, not letting him say another word. “I can’t tell you more details than that. Don’t ask anymore, alright? You only have to know that the person in my heart is you, and your safety is of the utmost importance to me. Even if the scenario is to be repeated over and over again, I would still make the same choices. Making you sad is something that I’ve done wrong towards you, but it’s a lot better than having you meet with danger.”

The words were stark and not flowery, but a blush still spread across Wu Xingzi’s face and ears that were listening to them, and his breathing even quickened. The purpose of the truth-telling drug was to lower their heart’s defenses, a drug that would make one reveal their heart, and there was actually only one vulgar thing that his heart truly desired.

A sudden soft lick on his palm shot straight into Guan Shanjin’s heart, and his eyes narrowed in understanding.

This lewd darling really knew how to endure, but if they both continued enduring, it would not result in anything good for each other.

Since what had to be said had already been said, and Guan Shanjin had gotten used to the drug’s influence, his limbs no longer weak, he deftly lifted up the person in his arms, walking into the bedroom and kicking the door shut.