Casual Heroing

Chapter 181: Appius

“WHO AM I?”

Ok, this Elf is a piece of work.

Not only he has been screaming – and let me be clear, this is vein-popping, bloodshot-eyes screaming – but he’s also spitting. Dude, this person is cray-cray. But like, an ex-girlfriend who removes-sewer-grates-hoping-you-fall-in-them crazy. Yeah, that’s another story.josei

But I have to say, he doesn’t look good. You would think that after Atticus was killed like an idiot, this man would be the endgame boss or something. I mean, I’m still only assuming his name is Appius. I think it was Appius, the jealous idiot, right? I’m not entirely sure.

“Man, can’t you just tell me your name and confirm you are the guy bothering Laura?”

I turn to the stands where Laura is — honestly, after this whole crazy business, I’m not sure if the anger on her face is because of Appius or everything else.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM?!”

Dude, I will found a psychiatric ward for these people.

“What’s the matter with you? I have no idea who you are. And I have no idea why you want to duel to the death after I literally killed a Dragon. Why can’t you just answer a fucking question?!” I am the one doing the shouting this time around.

“Why should I answer your questions?! You don’t know the future [Archmage] of Lucerna!?”

“Listen, buddy. I don’t know the current [Archmages]. Why should I have any idea who you are?! Are you fucking Appius?! Yes or no?!”

“I AM APPIUS, THE MAN WHO WILL SLAUGHTER THE BLIGHT THAT’S PLAGUING OUR LANDS!”

And that’s when the crowd really starts losing it for the ugly guy.

When I say he’s ugly, you have to imagine a pubescent kid with oily skin paired with a DnD, fedora-wearing, badly-shaved, ponytail man all-in-one. He’s also shorter than me by at least good four inches. That means he’s much shorter than Princess Laura, who’s taller than me.

So, while the crowd is cheering, I just wonder what kind of parallel universe full of retards I landed in. Not that I get surprised by anything at this point – I’m just tired. While I down a couple more Mana potions, just to be safe, I pose a question to Lord Juler.

Putting the Valarith-business to the side, how strong is this guy?

Not as strong as those puny [Archmages]. But he is close to them. He shouldn’t be considered part of your generation, clearly.

He should consider using some soap, I say to my teacher while flinching back. Appius’s stench has finally caught up to me. He doesn’t just look like a smelly nerd, he is one.

“Listen, can’t you [Cleanse] yourself or something? You reek, man. What the hell?”

“I [Cleanse] myself every day! I don’t have time to take long, hot baths like a time-waster! Magic is my only—”

“Fuck,” I swear again while stepping back even further. “Stanimal!”

I turn to the far-away stands.

“After this idiot, I’m done with your country’s freak show! I’m going to need a holiday, and I’m not sure I’ll come back for these assholes! Also, can we have a word about your—you know what?”

A wave of anger that I had previously repressed surfaces.

“Fuck you, Stan. Fuck you. Who the fuck doesn’t help a possible nephew-in-law, for Christ’s sake! I was going to fucking die! To fucking die! And Princess Laura, you and your fucking people are a work of art! Fuck you too! Fucking Elves, for fuck’s sake!”

Angry, just like I had been with Marcus, I turn to face Appius.

“Come on, you fucking idiot, show me what you’ve got,” I say while preparing to kill him on the spot. “I accept your duel to the death.”

And so it begins.

I shut off every sense that’s not focused on the battle.

[Single-Minded Focus]

[Advanced Mana Sense]

As soon as the world turns into energy, I can see what Lord Juler meant. Appius burns bright, very fucking bright. And that means he’s got loads of Mana to spare. But if I have learned one lesson since I have come to this forgotten place, it’s ‘knowing your potential is worth more than a few years of education.’ So what if Appius is so strong or almost an [Archmage]?

Do you know who I am?

I’m Joey Luciani, baby.

And we are dancing now.

[Advanced Mana Lance]

Another good lesson that Lord Juler taught me is that [Mages] underestimate the range of options you have. Shooting a [Fireball] doesn’t mean you have to always try and hit your enemy straight on. No, you could use it as a distraction. You could even use it just to blow some smoke in your enemy’s face. There are so many options in life. And one last thing before we dive in: Lord Juler is a Vanedeni, right? Ok, the Vanedenis are not just crazy, but also the greatest fighters the world has ever known. You know how I said I practiced and researched a lot of things while traveling to the Nine Towers Academy,? And do you remember how I was always fucking sick? Well, Lord Juler wanted me to keep most of what we did secret. But it wasn’t just magical training. There are many ways you can use spells. And sure, I might not be extremely proficient in this; nothing worthy of legends, for sure. And I also refused every class that had come my way after our training, but Lord Juler taught me a vital lesson.

[Mages] never expect to be physically beaten up by another [Mage].

As I congeal the spell matrix construct of the [Advanced Light Spear] in my hand, I start running toward the ugly motherfucker.

All that vomit from our inner-soul training is finally going to pay off.