I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Chapter 623: Phoenix

Chapter 623: Phoenix

“Xiao Qin, are you afraid of butterflies?”

I suddenly remembered Xiao Qin was afraid of insects. She might not be afraid of colorful ladybugs, but she never stated whether or not she was afraid of butterflies.

“Huh, where’s the butterfly?” Xiao Qin looked around, but didn’t see any. Later, with help from my gaze, she was able to realize the butterfly might have landed on her hat.

She nervously blinked and asked: “Is the butterfly beautiful?”

“It’s beautiful.” I smiled, “It’s not a normal kind of beautiful.”

“(*^__^*) Hehe… then I’m not afraid. I would have screamed if it was an ugly moth.”

I don’t really think there’s any differences between a moth and a butterfly. If you care so much about the appearance of an insect, why did you pick someone so ugly to be your boyfriend? I’m no longer the cute shota who you once bullied.

“La la la la~?” After Xiao Qin heard a beautiful butterfly landed on her hat, she happily began to hum an off-tune melody.

To be honest, it feels like she’s a bit tone deaf. Ai Mi said she doesn’t like listening to her own recordings, but compared to Xiao Qin, Ai Mi’s songs are like the music of the heavens.

“Ye Lin classmate, did you know.” After humming for a while, Xiao Qin snuggled into my arms and said, “It is said that ‘the phoenix doesn’t land in a place without treasure’. If a beautiful butterfly landed on my head, it must be that my sincerity has touched the heavens, and even God thinks I’m a living treasure…”

Doesn’t that mean you’re just a buffoon? (living treasure uses the same words as the slang for buffoon)

“It’s a shame I can’t play the flute…” Xiao Qin suddenly said.

Hey, don’t say something so strange while you’re in my arms! I only hugged you cause I’m treating you like my sister (plus I have acrophobia and I needed something to hold on to). What if I pitch a tent if you keep teasing me?

“What a shame, if I play the flute for Ye Lin classmate, maybe a phoenix might land from the sky…”

Why, why would a phoenix come and watch us? Is the phoenix a voyeur?

“Why does Ye Lin classmate look surprised?” Xiao Qin pouted, “Didn’t you listen to teacher Zhang in language class? I remember the story talked about how the daughter of Duke Mu of Qin, Nong Yu, excelled at playing the Sheng, so she married Xiao Shi, who was good at playing the flute. After Nong Yu learned how to play the flute from her husband, the sound of her flute attracted a dragon and a phoenix, so the couple rode them and ascended.”

“They must have went to a fairy tale world! I also want to go there together with Ye Lin classmate.”

She… scared me, so she was talking about an actual flute! I must have been asleep when old man Zhang told the story, but I remembered it now because my dad told me about it before.

Xiao Shi and Nong Yu, the immortal couple, has left a lot of idioms for the future generations. Such as “son-in-law who rides the dragon”, which means ideal son-in law (Xiao Shi, the son-in-law of Duke Mu of Qin, rode a dragon up into the skies). Also “there’s a ceremony if there’s a phoenix” which means there’s a good omen.

Of course, although Xiao Shi and Nong Yu are a married couple who aren’t known for doing anything erotic, but influenced by one of Du Mu’s poems, the word “Nong Yu playing a flute” gradually got a different meaning…

“Um, Xiao Qin…” I said to her seriously, “Please don’t say things like ‘playing the flute’ in the future.”

“Why?” Xiao Qin didn’t understand, “Does Ye Lin classmate not want to fly to fairy tale world with me? What if I let you ride the dragon?”

What, were you planning on hogging the back of a dragon, and leaving me with the phoenix?

I glanced at the blue morpho on Xiao Qin’s straw hat. We both talked for quite a while, but we still did not scare it away. Did Xiao Qin’s straw hat contain some sort of strange chemical compound that attracts blue morphos?

“Uh-huh.” I cleared my throat, “Girls can’t say playing the flute, because the ancient Chinese poets were too erotic, so now it has the same meaning as a ‘blowjob’…”

Xiao Qin face instantly turned red, she might actually not have known about it.

“No, no wonder why the boys were laughing during class, especially Eunuch Cao…”

Yeah, I could even imagine Eunuch Cao laughing after he heard ‘playing the flute’.

“I’m so stupid.” Xiao Qin lowered her head in frustration, “I said I’d work harder at being a pervert, but I don’t even know what playing the flute really means…”

No one will blame you or are you saying you want to be like Xiong YaoYue who watches porn in the open and can talk about anything with the boys.

You don’t have to be as pure as Gong CaiCai, but it’s better if girls are exposed to less erotic content. Besides, there’s a high chance Xiao Qin will become my sister, so I guess an older brother should be responsible for the younger sister’s education.

Even when it comes to sexual education, it can’t be completely avoided. You have to at least let them know how to protect themselves, don’t say anything to make people misunderstand, and remove the poisons she got from reading H manga. If you think pornography will cause family tragedies, then the content of H manga, will cause the tragedy to continue onto the next generation.

“That’s why…” I didn’t know how to speak my thoughts yet.

“Ye Lin classmate, can you help me hold my straw hat.” Xiao Qin suddenly said.

“Eh, do you want to see the butterfly? If you move the hat, it might fly away.”

Although generally speaking, it’s not like Xiao Qin was even remaining still anyway, so the blue morpho should have already flown away.

“Well, I do want to see what the butterfly looks like, also…” Xiao Qin sheepishly pressed her index fingers together, “If Ye Lin classmate helps me hold my hat, then I can… help you plplplplay the flute.”

Did you not understand what I just said, girls shouldn’t say that. Also, don’t you already know what it means, you know that there won’t be dragons and phoenixes coming…

Wait, you already know the meaning and you’re stammering, which means…

Stop joking, I do think you need some reliable sex education, but I can’t personally demonstrate it! I don’t think this world needs a brother who would teach his sister how to give a blowjob on himself.

“It’s common on H manga to say boys your age will be tormented by the thoughts of mating and won’t be able to fall asleep at night…”

Don’t use the word mating, it makes us sound like beasts.

It is not as painful as you make it sound, just jerk it off if you can’t fall asleep, although it’s true you will feel empty afterwards…

“As Ye Lin classmate’s girlfriend, isn’t it part of my job to help Ye Lin classmate to relieve his pain?”

She said in a matter of fact tone.

“Although, my mom has strictly forbade me to mate with Ye Lin classmate, but, playing the flute should be okay? My mom didn’t explicitly say that I’m not allowed to do it, so as long as it can relieve your pain…”

Shut up, in every sense of the word, please don’t say any more.

Why would Auntie Ren list out everything that’s forbidden? I don’t think you even ask to know that playing the flute is forbidden! Auntie Ren already said the most we can progress to before high school is the kissing stage!

We already hit the kissing stage, but if I really dared to let Xiao Qin give me a blowjob, Auntie Ren will cripple me if she finds out.

And Xiao Qin has already been promoted from girlfriend to sister. She might be a step-sister and any guy would be moved if she offered, but we still can’t.

It’s not something that should be done between siblings. If I accept my step-sister, then what about my actual sister? Ai Mi has always thought about pushing me down, so do I have to accept her too?

At this moment, there’s also a more important factor to consider, we’re onto of a cliff! My acrophobia can trigger at anytime, what if something happened and we both rolled over the edge? When our corpses are found, what would people think when they see my pants down to my knees with some unknown substance in Xiao Qin’s mouth?

The news headline would be “middle school boy and girl fall off a cliff in outdoor escapade” and all the relevant photos will also be spread around the internet. How would I be able to face my ancestors after the class leader and the entire nation sees those photos?

So with superhuman willpower, I refused Xiao Qin’s offer.

Even though I couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like if it really happened, I kept thinking:

We have to at least move to a less dangerous place!

“Um, stop kissing around. Get off me first, it’s not safe here, let’s go back to the camp.”

“Oh…” Xiao Qin drooped her head in disappointment (the blue morpho surprisingly still hasn’t flown away), “Ye Lin classmate must really be thinking about that… I want to deal with it by playing the flute, but Ye Lin classmate must be laughing at me for being so naive.”

“That, what do you mean by ‘that’? Why are you making me sound like a super pervert?”

After some effort, I finally persuaded Xiao Qin to leave the cliff and return onto the path up the mountain with me.

I think it’s time to catch the blue morpho that’s on Xiao Qin’s straw hat. Maybe it can be sold for tens of thousands of dollars, we can’t let easy money get away from us.

“O(?_?)O haha~ I’ll show off the butterfly back at camp.” Xiao Qin smiled, “It must be my pure heart that attracted the beautiful butterflies, worthy of being the heroine.”

How is your heart pure? Even if there actually is a pure part, most of it would already have been contaminated. I think you’re more like the heroine of a H manga rather than a shoujo manga.

I don’t want to spoil her fun if Xiao Qin wants to take the butterfly back to the camp to show everyone, but I’m worried it would fly away halfway.

I hope the unknown chemical on Xiao Qin’s straw hat can keep the blue morpho attracted for a bit longer.