Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 163: Be Careful of ‘Discount Scams’!

Chapter 163: Be Careful of ‘Discount Scams’!

"Hehe, are you still not going to say anything?" Kawaki smiled and walked to the front of Jiraia. He looked at Jiraia who still had his head lowered and had no reaction. "...SpiderMan."

"He is not SpiderMan! His name is Jiraia, Kawaki-sama!" A Hyakka member, who was standing at the side, reminded him.

"No, no, that ability to produce spider silk at no time is exactly the same as SpiderMan." Kawaki turned his head and waved his hand, helplessly explaining, "Maybe it's because he ran to the wrong studio."

"It's not like this at all! No matter how you look at it, he doesn't look like the kind of person who jumps around in high-rise buildings in a tight suit!" A Hyakka member retorted crazily.

"No, maybe SpiderMan who took off his tight suit is just like that," Kawaki replied.

"No!" This Hyakka member shouted, "I've said it several times! That's the previous leader of Hyakka, Jiraia! He is Chief Tsukuyo's master!"

"Jiraiya?" Kawaki was confused, then he stretched out a finger and shook it, "No, no, no, Jiraiya didn't look like this at all! His hair should be white!"

(PS: Jiraia is similar to Jiraya's pronunciation)

"Do you only care about hair?!" This Hyakka member complained again, "No matter how you look at it, that face doesn't look like that perverted uncle!"

"That makes sense." Kawaki looked at Jiraia's face and nodded, "But maybe it is a transformation technique."

"How is that possible!" The Hyakka member was a little bit broken.

"That makes sense." Kawaki smiled and turned his head again. He looked at Jiraia and said, "But you are really stubborn. You actually don't say anything at this point. As expected of the former leader of Hyakka. In fact, I really hate using this method. Although I don't know you, but...after all, he is the master of that guy. I really can't do anything..."

"Hmph," Jiraia finally raised his head and looked at Kawaki with a grim expression, "Is my work easy to use?"

"Works? What works?" Kawaki wondered, "Is it your ruined face? This is indeed scary. If Yoshiwara has a Haunted House, I will recommend you to work. I believe that even without makeup, you can scare a child to tears."

"Hahahaha..." Jiraia began to laugh, "I never thought that Yoshiwara would be handed over to someone like you one day."

"No, no, no, I'm just an agent," Kawaki retorted, "After all, it's Old Man Housen's request. I still respect the old and cherish the young. But... the only thing I want to ask now is..."

After a pause, Kawaki's tone changed slightly, "Where did you get the news? The news that Housen is no longer in Yoshiwara? Also, why did the person who died once come back here?"

"You... Do you want to protect Yoshiwara?" Jiraia did not answer but asked.

"Protect?" Kawaki stood in place and thought for a moment, then raised his head and replied, "If you insist, you can also say to protect your temporary nest."

"Just you?" Jiraia laughed, "Just because of the style of keeping hands everywhere? Obviously, there were so many opportunities to kill me at that time, but you always kept your hands in front of an enemy who wants to kill you."

"So, didn't I already say it? I still respect the old and cherish the young." Kawaki sighed softly, "After all, you really look quite miserable. That face, is it usually very painful to live? Being pointed at by the people on the side of the road, even if you laugh, you will scare children, right? I still understand this simple principle of not tearing them down when people are difficult."

"You really are a man who can talk to himself. With your half-baked character, you can't protect anything." Jiraia snorted and then raised his head, staring straight at Kawaki's face, "Moreover, should you know that feeling? From your eyes, it can be seen that regret, pain, and unwillingness. The kind of gaze that betrayed yourself..."

"Ha~" Kawaki twisted his neck and yawned. Then he turned to the two Hyakka members and said, "Is this person... used to be a teacher? It made me sleepy."

"He is a combat teacher," A Hyakka member replied.

"Really? Then why is he talking so much nonsense?" Kawaki asked doubtfully.

"I don't know." The Hyakka member replied.

"This is a little difficult. I have no patience for people who talk so much nonsense." Kawaki said in distress, "And..."

As he spoke, Kawaki looked at Jiraia's face again, "This face is too scary! Seeing this face, you don't want to listen to him at all! Speaking of which, why did you make half of your face like this? Did the plastic surgery fail?"

Without waiting for Jiraia to answer, Kawaki nodded and said with a serious face, "But don't worry! I know a very good plastic surgeon! I guarantee that you will look like Oguri Shun! So, you have to be optimistic! Don't distrust the people around you just because of this face! You have to live optimistically!"

After saying that, Kawaki took out a business card from his pocket and handed it to Jiraia, "Do you want it very much?" Now there is a chance. As long as you can tell me where you got the news from, this business card will be yours! And not only that, as long as you tell my name, you can get a 30% discount! Yes, it is a 30% discount! "

"How could he be interested in that kind of thing?" A Hyakka member complained while rolling his eyes.

"Ah? This should be the thing he needs the most, right?" Kawaki was puzzled, "And that is a 30% discount! A real 30% discount! It's very different from the supermarket promotion product with an original price of 300 yen suddenly rising to 1,000 yen and finally, in the name of discount, the product was sold to you at 300 yen!"

"What kind of analogy is this!" The Hyakka member complained, "Also, no matter how I look at it, he is not someone who is interested in that kind of thing!"

"Not interested?" Kawaki scratched his head, his face a little distressed; but then he had a flash of inspiration and took out a hair salon membership card from his bosom, "How about this one! This is the hair salon I often go to! All the hairstyles can satisfy you! And this is a VVVVVIP membership card! Not only can you have a 30% discount on your haircut, but you can also enjoy an hour of massage service, free shaving, and trimming your nose! The most important thing is that it can enjoy five times the amount of points you got! At the end of the year, you can participate in the lucky draw using those points. The first prize is the most popular limited edition FPS game!"

As he said this, Kawaki's face revealed a reluctant expression, "Although this is really important to me, if you can tell me everything, I will also give it to you!"

"Only you are interested in that kind of thing!" The Hyakka member retorted.

"No, it's impossible for a man not to be interested in this kind of thing!" Kawaki retorted seriously, "No one can pretend that nothing happened in the temptation of free massage, trimming his nose hair, and shaving his beard for free! If you don't believe me, look. This person is already trembling."

"He should be trembling because of you!" The Hyakka member shouted.

"No, he obviously trembles because he wants it!" Kawaki retorted. Then he sighed and continued, "What an amazing man. He can actually resist these two temptations. Even I have to admire this man's perseverance, but..."

"Can you still hold it in when you see this!" After saying that, Kawaki took out a Chinese cuisine membership card from his bosom again, "This is the VIP card from the most delicious Chinese Cuisine Restaurant in Edo! Not only could you enjoy delicious food at a 30% discount, but it also gives five times of points! The first prize for the lottery at the end of the year was a set of VR game equipment! It's the kind of game equipment that can be immersive while only wearing glasses! PS: Even I don't have this. Because the price is too expensive, Tsukki rejected it."

"What's wrong? Are you so shocked that you can't speak?" Kawaki snorted, "But don't force yourself! If you want it, just say it! We are all men, I won't look down on you!"

"Why does Kawaki-sama feel that everyone likes the things he likes..." A Hyakka member whispered to another Hyakka member.

"All men are actually about the same," The other Hyakka member replied in a low voice, "Moreover, that Jiraia really wants it. Haven't you noticed that from the beginning, he hasn't said a word? Maybe it is because he wants it soo much that he can't say anything."

"How is that possible! Even you think so?!"

"I'm really not good at interrogation. I only learned this method after asking a friend in the police department. It seems to be an iron rod with marshmallows? Anyway, I don't understand it." Kawaki curled his lips and explained.

"It's the whip with sugar!" Hyakka corrected.

"I see. There is such a saying." Kawaki nodded and replied.

"That's what it said! You just remembered it wrong!"

"Eh? Is that so?" Kawaki asked in confusion.

"I don't want to retort anymore..." A Hyakka member murmured as she held her forehead.

"Whether it's marshmallow or lollipops," Kawaki waved his hand, "I think the candy I give is already sweet enough. Why doesn't this man confess?"

"It should be a combination of whips and sugar!" A Hyakka member replied, "And your marshmallow is not even considered candy at all!"

"No, no, no. That is already candy for me!" Kawaki retorted.

"Kawaki-sama. Not all men like what you like," A Hyakka member replied with a sigh.

"Huh? Reall?y" Kawaki was shocked. Then he looked at the two membership cards in his hand, "There are still people who don't like these things?!"